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Experience Narrative From www.adcrf.org Contribution

Experience description:

I had him on my mind all time.  Before he died, after he died.  I missed him terribly and had had many signs from him.  Were they all coincidences?  I don't know. I was afraid to tell many of my close friends of these experiences because I knew I would have definitely been accused of missing him too much and not wanting to let go. But, stuff was happening; a lot of stuff.  Always different things. Except for the light bulbs which would blow out constantly when I'd put on the switch.  (Since he's gone, about 9 months already, I had to change around 15-20 bulbs so far).  But, I always knew it was him and I never was afraid. Sometimes I say, Honey, you'll be visiting me in Bellevue soon. Because who would believe these things were all happening to me. Bellevue is a hospital for mental patients...... First of all, let me say that I did not believe in life after death, AT ALL. But, then I turned into this person who could actually smell him, not his cologne, but his scent and feel him in incredible ways.  Sometimes, I say. Hi, honey, I know you're here.  I miss you so much."  Its comforting to me because I feel the connection so strongly and believe me, I'm not about to play myself and scare myself with a story like this.  This is happening.  Anyway, the experience I want to share this time is the one that happened on the night of October 4th. I went to sleep around 12:00 or so, everything was normal.  I'm sure he was on my mind

he always was. I fell asleep. The TV was on, its always on.  The lamp was dim, but on. Anyway, something woke me up.  It wasn't a noise.  But, when I turned around I saw this cloud of shimmering white and silver fog next to my bed.  I could still see the silver movement in my mind. I looked at it for a second, I saw it wasn't anyplace else in the room.  And although I knew it was odd, I somehow wasn't bothered and turned over and went back to sleep.  When I woke up the next morning and realized what had happened I was pretty hysterical.  I WAS DEFINITELY AWAKE, THROUGH THIS EXPERIENCE---THIS WAS NOT A DREAM.  I was afraid to tell anyone.  Who would believe it.  I finally told someone who had known about all this after death stuff.  She said I had an apparition.  "A what", I said.  I thought apparitions happened only with saints and the kids from Fatima.  I didn't know what to think.  I have to honestly say that it totally unnerved me, even though I loved him and love him so much; it was beyond incredible. I waited every night for it to happen again.  Two times since that first time, I woke and saw small clouds, up higher on the wall, though and not as intense as that first time.  I love this man and always will and welcome all the signs that let me know that he hasn't really left me.  Through this time I've read several books and know that, No, I'm really not crazy. I have also been trying to teach myself how to open the channels of communication further since I know he really wants to communicate with me, too.