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Alexa's ADC

Experience description:  

When I was 6 years old my grandma died, we were very close. My parents didn't let me see her dead- they wanted me to remember her alive. But I had an experience that at my age I still think it was real.   

We got to the cemetery and I ran to the coffin and saw my grandma in a white dress with a peaceful expression, I remember contemplating how beautiful she looked. I told this to my parents and said that I never saw her and she wasn't in a white dress. 

10 years later, I was at night alone at home when I started crying, that year wasn't a good one, a lot of things where wrong and I had suicidal thoughts but never had the courage to do it. I started wondering out loud how everything would've been if my grandma was alive because we all wouldn't made so mistakes if she were alive. 

 At one point I stopped feeling my body and felt light surround me, then I saw the image of my granny standing in front of me smiling and she was blurry because of the light coming out of her, she was in the same dress I saw her in ''my experience'' when I was six, I almost couldn't see my room anymore. 

I just stared. The only thing I was feeling at that moment was peace and I also felt the love she gave me with that look in her eyes and her smile assuring me that everything was going to be alright. 

I don't know how much time we stood like that - 5 minutes or an hour, it was as if time stopped and there was just me and her. When she disappeared I was no longer sad and felt my body again. I sat looking the spot where she used to be for maybe 30-60 minutes until my mom came. I told her what happened and even though she said nothing, I know she didn't believe me, but it didn't matter, I knew my granny was here and I would no longer long for her to be with us because everything was alright.

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No      

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain      The feeling was as if my body was numb but I could feel love & happiness

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           Not sure.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   It felt unrealistic but I was awake.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain      As I said, It felt unrealistic, almost like a dream but it wasn't one.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace, Happiness, love.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           Absolute silence, only felt a lot of sensations.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No response     

Did you see a light?           Yes     Radiating from my grandma, almost blinding me and taking the color away from my room.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes        

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?      Uncertain      I'm more aware of things and feel as if my house is protected (difficult to explain).

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes    

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I don't grief anymore.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No