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Ali S' ADC

Experience description:  

As I was trying to fall asleep on the evening of my father's death (he died very early the same morning), I heard a giddy laugh.  I heard this laugh telepathically and at the same time, I was filled with a strange sensation of energy running through my body -- I felt fully awake and I felt my father's presence. 

I have heard my father laugh in this manner many times in my life, but this time he was especially giddy and in fact, it took him some time to finally speak words.  The conversation felt telepathic because his speech was faster than spoken words.  He explained that he was giddy because he was so happy and that he could not believe he was ever afraid of dying because it was such a beautiful experience.  He told me not to cry for him because he was very happy and that it was his time to go.  I asked him if he had crossed over (he said yes) and I asked him who met him (he said it was his mother which I found very comforting given that he had not seen his mother since he was 17 years old when he ran away from Czechoslovakia to escape a communism. After these big important questions, the conversation slipped into some friendly teasing -- I called him stubborn and he called me stubborn -- both of which are true -- and we would have real arguments like this in life with an entirely different tone.  I don't recall the other details of that conversation...but it lasted about 5 minutes.   

The next night, he came to me again.  He wasn't giddy this time, but very calm.  I needed to ask him where he hid my mother's passport, but he didn't answer in words.  Instead, I pictured the two china cabinets from his dining room in my head.  I later told this to my mother who told she found the passport clipped to the back of the curtain in the dining room.  I still don't understand why he didn't answer this question, but I have the theory that he didn't want to frighten my mother with a direct message knowing how afraid she is of such things.  On the third night, the day of his funeral, he came to me and told me how proud he was of me and that he stood behind me as I cried reading the words I had prepared as a tribute to his life.  This meant so much to me because he was not a very expressive man and he didn't give many compliments.  He told me he learned a lot about the mistakes he made in life and after a few more exchanges, I remarked that we had talked more openly in the three nights than we had in over 10 years.  I asked if we would we keep talking like this.  He didn't answer.  I then asked if he would at least come to me with important messages.  His very last sentence to me was "life is for the living".  Instantly, I felt the energy fade and that was it.  We haven't talked since.  Still, I felt such gratitude to know he is content and that we had this incredible chance to talk and connect.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes

I had a special physical sensation -- I felt his presence

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I heard my father's words in my head -- very clearly, just like a conversation only faster.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  outside of me

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           it had the same inflection but I heard it in my head and the whole conversation was telepathic (my side too).

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no -- just grief

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        about 5 minutes the first time and maybe 20 minutes in total (over 3 days)

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         definitely sudden -- it was on, then off and I felt it coincided with the feeling of energy, almost like a heaviness inside my whole body

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

I felt his giddiness, his extreme happiness during the first conversation...after that I just felt his calm or peace

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes -- he helped us find the missing passport, my mother's passport.  He handled everything regarding paperwork for my mother and she didn't know where he put her passport.  This was something particularly important to her because he felt compelled to return home to Poland to be with her favorite sister after my father died.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           This may sound silly, but I just don't think that I am talented enough to invent entire conversations in my head (especially such long conversations!).  I just didn't know what he would say next -- it was just like a real conversation (and not me trying to guess at what he might say). I've tried to write dialogue and I just can't do it.  I also feel that the way my body felt - the presence or energy sensation was very powerful and I felt completely awake and lucid.  Everything was clear.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I didn't feel sad during the conversations because he was so positive and happy.  I was very sad however for several days and I cried a lot.  I grieved for quite a while but I don't really know how long someone in the same predicament would grieve.  I guess I would characterize my feelings during the experience as clear and bright, during a very sad time.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

Yes, because we had a chance to resolve some of our conflicts.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      best -- that I had a chance to connect with my Dad and know he is okay

worst -- that I may never have another experience like this again with my father

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      I really try to work at relationships...and I think it was a good lesson for me because I am stubborn like my dad and sometimes not as expressive as I should be (like my him too).    

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     I felt more certain about my beliefs.

I felt I have a better understanding about my life's journey and my Dad's life journey.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     confirmed to me that there is an afterlife

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

Sort of -- as a child I told him to come to me when he died...I was very specific about him meeting me at the granny clock...but he thought it was silly so it felt more like a one-sided agreement!  The strange thing is, he has told me that he is mildly psychic, which always fascinated me because he didn't seem the type and we never explained how or why he thought that.  I retorted that I thought I am mildly psychic -- and I do mean mildly and never over anything very significant.  I wonder if we communicated because of this strange "psychic" connection.

my sister and I have made this deal.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I felt a bit of an emotional high or rush...incredulous that it really had happened.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

again, the energy thing -- plus the fact that although the speech was telepathic and therefore sped up, the moments felt suspended in time.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

there was a sense of one-ness

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I felt an energy but I was still connected to my body...however, it was a very different feeling and I felt more lucid than I do even when I am fully awake

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Some people are fascinated and you can tell they get it.  I don't like telling this to people who are skeptical because he can see that they think it's crazy.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

I think I had one out of body experience during my mat leave when I took a nap in the middle of the day.  I had the strangest dream and I felt I was traveling very fast and that I was fully awake and full of a very positive cosmic like energy.  I saw lights but not buildings or trees or people.  During this experience it dawned on me that I was having an out-of-body experience and I felt instantly sucked back into my body and I woke up.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

lots of good probing questions