Alison M's ADC

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 Experience description:  

I knew Nick from seeing him first when he was a resident in our office. He then developed lymphoma and was seen as a patient. One day he was in my office to use the phone and we began talking. That was the beginning of our friendship. I knew he was going to die and so did he, but I still had such strong feelings for him, not romantically.  I just knew for some reason that he was very important to me, more important than most almost like I was supposed to know him for he was going to teach me something.  Fast forward to the last time I saw him.  He came to the clinic after having decided he would undergo no further treatment. He looked particularly wonderful.  I mentioned that to him and he seemed very happy. He said he was going to leave and go to Hawaii.  Later I figured out that he meant he would die soon. I walked him to the elevators and hugged him. I still did not realize what was going on. He got in the elevator which was empty. He then turned and blew me a kiss. He would not call me or see me again after that even though I left messages.

Not even a month later he died at home with his family. I kept feeling like I should go see him and mentally said Nick, if you can come to me. Say hello, let me know you are okay.  I was so sad. I decided I would go to his house after everyone had left, I finally went after another month of thinking about it. I got a rock from his garden, cuttings from two plants, and my friend turned around and there on the porch was a shirt of his draped over the railing at the front door and a pair of running socks. I knew they were his and was amazed that they were there. I took them with me.

When I returned to the office I stepped inside my office which is actually an exam room. I was overwhelmed with the smell of the cemetery flowers. I knew absolutely that it was Nick. I could hardly stop smiling. My heart was so glad and I was so excited I could hardly stand it!  I asked my coworker standing in the room with me if she smelled the flowers. She said no. I looked all around the office- front desk, hallways, and other rooms for the flowers or someone with perfume. We do not wear it generally because it is offensive to our patients undergoing chemotherapy. There was no source of the smell. 

I came back to my office and told my co-worker that the smell was all around me but just in my office. She still did not smell it. I felt him literally around me and through me.  My feelings were validated and I knew he was okay.  He had said he would be and would travel after he was gone.  He was right, and he did teach me a lot about having faith in what I had always known since I was a child, that there was more after we die. The smell slowly faded away as I continued to work and I have not had him back in the office, but I sense him quite a bit.  Almost like he is watching out for me or talking to me in some way, (putting words mentally in my brain) not actual talking out loud. I don't think he is finished with me, I haven't gotten the entire meaning he is trying to give me. I wish I knew what to do to help myself help him in that way.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No comment

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           The smell of graveyard flowers. (A combination of many different kinds of flowers together)

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     Familiar. I spoke with someone familiar with this type of thing and asked them why I smelled graveyard flowers, they said it was so I would recognize what was happening. I always smell graveyard flowers when something like this happens. But this is the first time I have known the person. And I feel that it was Nick because of just being at his house.

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   Only that he was there and validated my beliefs.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        I looked everywhere and could find no source for it. Plus it was the one fragrance I always smell at a time when this occurs.

How long did the experience last?        Maybe a couple minutes only.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden. As soon as I walked into my office it was like he was waiting for me.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

I sensed him to be amused by me and letting me know how much fun he was having. Like hey this isn't so bad! Just wanted to say hello and let me know he was okay. Not in pain anymore.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No. I got no information. I thought before this happened that this "could" occur but had no absolute proof such as knowing someone and then the event occurring right after but believe that the only information he gave me was that I was correct in believing that ADCs are true.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          I believe that the reality of my experience was real because I have always had experiences like this but never understood completely what was going on or why I smelled the flowers at different times. It started when I was a child. Now this experience with Nick might not have been different than those, but I had just been at HIS house and had taken some things with me from his house. So it was like a response to my pleading for him only minutes before to come to me.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Elated, overjoyed, and like I had discovered a treasure that was priceless. A complete validation and eradication of all the doubt I had from these type of experiences over the years even from childhood, and so thankful to Nick for releasing me that way.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

As stated above, much emotional healing because I did not understand why I smelled graveyard flowers and experienced the sad feelings or melancholy at the times I smell the flowers. Now I know why I smell the flowers. It is like being released from a bondage of wondering constantly how to figure it out.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was knowing that Nick knew what I needed and responded to my grief and my need to hear from him.  he also knew I needed validation of my believe in ADCs. The worst part is of course that Nick died and that is how I had to receive that validation.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes

            Describe:      I feel much more at peace and less fearful of death.  My brother who is a born again Christian is very rigid and structured in what he feels can and cant happen. I am reassured that I don't have to be like him in order to find life after death or feel comfort in the hereafter.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes, The experience made me firmly believe in life after death.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes, I had asked Nick to come back to me after he died. He agreed that he would.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Elation and confirmation of what I have always known. I feel so happy and comforted by this validation from Nick and have strong feelings of love and peace within.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes

It was witnessed but not experienced.  In other words, I smelled flowers (a combination of flowers such as one would smell in the graveyard or funeral home) which I always have smelled in this situation. It literally filled up the office. But my coworker who had gone with me to Nick's house did not smell anything at all.

Have you shared this experience with others?       Yes

Some people believe me, or say they do. others are definitely non-believing and are not moved by my story.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   Yes

I don't remember the site's name. They were the ones who told me about the meaning behind the flowers. I believe the last name was Atwater. I know they have a book out.

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       No.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes, I have described the experience as accurately as possible and to the best of my ability.

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    No, I think you have covered everything. I do want to ask you what you think about experiences in which you don't know the person and don't really receive any information from it. Like times when I smell the flowers but can not say why or who it could be.

I don't really know.  Perhaps you are wired to experience the other side in terms of olfactory senses, while others are wired to see or hear things. - Jody