My Dad and I were never terribly close, but we were not estranged either. There was peace between us and I sensed a awkwardness in that we never knew really what to do with each other. He and my mother divorced when I was 10 so I missed a few years with him from that too. However, we kept in contact and visited throughout the years. He died of pancreatic cancer Dec 21, 2003.
Two days after the death, I was lying in bed on my back--either asleep or awake, I don't recall--when suddenly it felt like my earlobe was firmly being tugged. This was the ear next to the edge of the bed. There was nothing further beyond that, but I attributed it to my Dad, as of course, I'd been thinking about him quite a bit. That was kind of nice.
Within a few more days, I found a small fan had been relocated from a cluttered part of my study to the center of the floor. I asked all who I live with if it was them and no one said they did it. A small thing, but curious and unaccounted for. Dad?
Finally one night, within the past month, I had a dream which I wrote down so I wouldn't forget. Here it is:
I met Dad last night. He looked young, about 45. He was smiling warmly.
We were in a room with dozens of other people. Someone in charge was making some kind of public address to us all, so Dad and I couldn't speak for a moment or two. It was apparent that this was a visiting area, with about a dozen other dreamers like myself, and their deceased relatives/friends.
Finally, when the speech was finished, I was able to turn to Dad and ask, "So...what's it like...?"
He still smiled, though he knew I was asking him what it's like to be dead. "It's not so bad!"
"Do you-are you able to think? Are you aware and conscious?"
Although the answer was self-evident, the question was not as ridiculous as you might think, because that question or some form of it is something every still-living person is continually dying to know. Besides, I didn't mean "are you aware and conscious" just right now, but also before and after this visitation. They are continually conscious. They keep their identity. No sleep-death. They are alive.
"Is there Hell?" I fearfully whispered. "No." (Or perhaps he just assured me that he wasn't in one--and if He wasn't in one, then it's nothing that most normal people would have to see.) At one point, Dad referred to the fact that he was no saint and has done many things he's ashamed of, but that he was not in any hell. We agreed that while we're in our mortal bodies, that we are driven by all sorts of influences that are not wholesome.
"Is there reincarnation?" He shook his head, "No." I was sad at this, because reincarnation is an elegant solution to many problems. But on the positive side, it appears that you don't die, you stay aware of yourself, and you are apparently happy on the other side--so what's the problem with not reincarnating?
"Your Dad, have you seen your Dad?" I expected to hear of a great reunion with my grandfather who died 40 years ago. My father had mourned greatly for his father all these many years.
Surprisingly, his answer was No. Now this was unexpected--especially if there is no hell and no reincarnation. I would have thought that would have been Dad's first priority. Dad didn't seem all shook up by the fact he hadn't seen his dad yet. I got the feeling that there was plenty of time for that and it would happen, but in it's time.
"Your mother?" (My grandmother died a few months after my Dad). At this, Dad beamed and told me how he sees her a lot. And she's doing well. And she was very happy to see a big red X on Dad's calendar for today, which implies to other residents that he's not available, because he's "Visiting". I was afraid that the dream would end in a frustrating way. You know...a fading away which you can't prevent, or something unpleasant that could change it into a nightmare, or something which would pretty much prove that the whole thing was nothing more than a silly dream. So I woke up. Then, I was able to think about it for a long time in a kind of contentment.
Now, why had Dad not seen Grandpa? Why was this not an issue to him? With some thought, I figured that maybe that's because Dad's Dad has been dead so long that he's farther along in whatever process or evolvement they go through. Grandma was right there, you know. Maybe later he'll see his Dad. Of course, the whole thing might have been a mere dream. But it was a vivid, strong dream. Dad looked pretty darn good!!
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: All communication in the dream was by voice. Not telepathy. Also, Dad was firm and we hugged.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? All communication in the dream was by voice.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? Natural voice.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? no
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
Physical touching. Hugs.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Familiar.
Was anything communicated by the touch? No.
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Did you see the deceased? Yes
Dad looked vigorous and young again. He died frail and 70. Here, he was at his prime again.
How clearly did the deceased appear? Very clear.
How much of the deceased did you see? All
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? Dad looked vigorous and young again. He died frail and 70. Here, he was at his prime again.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? Dad looked vigorous and young again. He died frail and 70. Here, he was at his prime again.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? Only a few minutes.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? The end was abrupt because I willed myself to wake before something spoiled it. Next time, I'll at least say goodbye to him.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes, Happiness. Joy.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? He gave me no information which I can verify objectively. Next time, I'll ask! Otherwise, info about heaven/hell, but can't be verified yet.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was probably real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: (First, let me elaborate from above: Only afraid of death for myself because of those i leave behind.)
I believe the experience was probably real due to the emotions involved, the clarity, and the similar experiences I read about here.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes, it was a dream
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Overjoyed, curious.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain
Although my emotions were already ok and didn't need healing, the visit was wonderful and I want MORE!
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Best--the whole thing. Seeing dad and hugging him. Worst--my abrupt leaving.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes Afterlife is joyful. Hell is unreal.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? Yes
Didn't make compact with Dad. Someone else.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? Yes
Other people in the room. However, we ignored them. We barely even listened to the speaker as we were anxious to talk to each other.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Very glad to hear it. They believe it.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes