My 23 yr old son was killed in a car accident a mile from our home on Aug 2, 2007. He was a passenger, the driver's name was Brian who also died. It's been 4 yrs and I am still in a constant state of grief. When I was very young, I used to tell my mother that I used to be her mother...and that we did things differently back then. So I do believe in an afterlife. Yet I still am having trouble with my son's death. Several unusual things happened before and after his accident. Five months before the accident, my son & I were at a wedding reception when a young man who knew my son came over to our table and sat down with us. I'd never heard his name before, he was more of an acquaintance to my son than a close friend.

This young man began telling me (with my son sitting next to me) about what a great person my son is. He repeated over and over about how my son was the best friend anyone could ever have and that I should be very proud of him. I was glad to hear all this, of course, but it became a little uncomfortable hearing all these compliments. Later that night I bumped into this man again in a hallway, and he stopped me again & said he really meant it, that my son was a great person and that I should be proud. I told him, yes, yes I am proud. Now looking back, it just seems strange.....About a week after my son died, I was in my garage and a butterfly flew in and wouldn't leave.

It stayed near me for a long time, finally I reached out to touch it & it did fly out, but I think it would've stayed there if I let it. There have never been butterflies near our home before. Then a few days later, I was sitting in front of my living room window at my computer (where I usually sat) when I giant hawk smashed right into the window only 2 feet from my face. It's wings took up the entire front window & it made a loud crash. I opened the door & stepped outside & this hawk was standing right in front of me staring into my eyes for a long time. I finally reached out to touch it & it did fly away.

One night, I drifted off to sleep, but it was different from any dream I've ever had. It wasn't like a dream, it was real. I was in a room with 2 people. It was very bright and clear and I thought to myself, "now when I go back I have to remember this is not a dream, this was very real". I even touched the chair that one person was sitting in to make sure this was not a dream. My deceased son came into the room, happy as usual. We talked and it seemed like I had just stepped into this room from the kitchen...like I lived there & they all knew me, no big deal! Finally, I reached in my pocket and gave my son a few hundred dollars. He and his friends laughed and he said uh, ok but what's this for? I just said I want you to have it, go buy something you want. Lastly, I warned my son about getting into a car with someone named Brian. He looked straight in my eyes and was about to say something, when I immediately woke up. Sounds crazy, but I felt like I visited some other dimension. I've had many dreams of my son and they even seemed real, but this one was different.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?          No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Uncertain

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I was amused by the butterfly staying inside my garage for so long and lingering near me. I was stunned that a huge hawk could smash into my window and then look into my eyes for so long.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes     

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes    

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Afterwards, I felt that my son was close by.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

I had a dream once about an event and the next day I found that the event was happening while I was dreaming of it.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               No