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Amy T's ADC

Experience description:  

My oldest daughter has had some issues and required hospitalization a considerable distance from home, and I needed to be available to drive back and forth for a period of about a week. This situation required me to take time off from my job which I started in June caring for a 5 year old girl with a chronic illness. I worked the 7pm to 7 am shift and the child had chronic insomnia, and when she would actually sleep at night we knew a trip to the Hospital was coming soon. The child had two dolls "M" and "E" and she would often express herself through them such as "M" has a headache. As she could not sleep it was not uncommon for her to talk to them periodically throughout the night. 

I was off for one week and my ex-husband's mother who had been suffering from cancer had taken a turn for the worse and my plans to take my daughter up North to stay with my cousin were delayed, causing me to be off for another entire week. After getting through his mother's funeral and taking a day in between to try to relax, my daughter and I left for my cousin's house 6 hours away. It was a week ago today and I was driving when one of my co-workers called and told me of our patients death. I was in shock. 

We had not seen each other for close to 2 weeks before she died, and I was so upset and sad that I was not there during her last days. I talked to her in her casket and apologized very softly for not being there for her and that I would miss her. After this I went to see her mom and dad and the first thing her mom said was "She was asking for you. She asked when you were coming back." This made me feel better and worse at the same time. 

To get to the relevant part of my story: I was lying in bed with my son and our dog, I do this sometimes before he goes to bed. We were talking for a little bit, and the nightlight on his dresser had been on since we laid down. The nightlight is a little house without a roof that plugs into the wall my mother gave him. We had stopped talking for only a short time when the light went completely out, I raised my head and was facing toward a wall and we saw a very very faint glow it pulsated/blinked slowly 4 times and it was about the size of a volleyball. She was the first person that came to my mind and I said to my son "Do you see that?" he said "yes" After that I had a feeling of extreme relaxation and peacefulness come over me and knew it was her, she had come to tell me goodbye and that she was not in pain any longer and that she felt peaceful.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

I did not see her body but I saw her spirit (soul) that is my perception

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           There is a window that could have provided a light source, but the blackness prior the glow d/t to night light's sudden demise, is too coincidental I feel as if she used the energy from the light to manifest herself as much as she was able to.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        about 10 to 15 seconds

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The beginning was sudden (I suppose to gain attention?) and then the light just kind of faded gradually

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

I felt her sense of relaxation and peace, and that lasted quite a while at least an hour.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  only what I felt if you consider that knowledge

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I was fully awake and my son saw it as well and he did not know her at all. But she had asked me about him quite often which I found a little odd b/c I also have a daughter that is more her age (8).

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I really can only identify surprise and awe in the short period I was actually having the experience

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I knew she was no longer in pain and that she truly cared about me enough to let me know she found peace. That made me happy for her and reinforced my belief in God, heaven and life after death

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      There really was no bad part, it was positive and comforting.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     It made my faith in God and heaven and an after life stronger

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I feel honored to have been thought of not only by her but of heaven, angels, God who allowed her to give me comfort. But in the back of my mind and having had a previous experience I am fearful that the experience may have made me more vulnerable to other spirits

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes I asked my son if he saw the glow as it was blinking and he said yes. I asked him the next day, also.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace and relaxation

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes

My 11 year old son

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Yes

yes a very faint blinking light

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     My co-workers, they had witnessed some interaction between her and someone else or others prior to her passing.

The child's parent's, they stated that she had made her presence known at their house as well and shared more than one experience they had as well.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I had sensed/seen spirits in the clients home since I first started, nthing concrete really just movement from the corner of my eye, and feelings of having company not uncomfotable feelings. But their garage where the refridgerated meds were kept made me a little anxious.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            Uncertain

I take celexa for depression/anxiety, and I take adderall for ADHD. both of which I take on a daily basis.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

I barely remember (and was told) falling into a swimming pool when I was young (I was told I was about 3 or 4) In my minds eye I see blurry and bubbles when I reflect on it but that is all. I do not know how I fell or what happened before or after, and I do not recall any other details of that trip to ohio to visit relatives. To my understanding I was pulled out before I lost conciousness

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

I think I was able to express myself full and am glad I used the form instead of email it gave me a little more insight into my experience