Daniel lived 2mos and 1 day after he was diagnosed with cancer, the morning he died he woke up, fell in the floor saying "I can't breath." I called the ambulance and we went to the emergency room where the doctor on call said it was anxiety and discharged him.  When I helped him from the stretcher he fell in the floor again, then they started doing blood work and came back and told us that he had a blood clot.  This was at 10 a.m., by 5 p.m. I knew we were in real trouble, he was semi-conscious and combative.  They drugged him up, but it did little good, at around midnight they came and told us that he was not going to make it. he died at 5;05a.m. the next morning.

I don't remember a lot about the next few days it was such a blur, after the funeral I came home and tried to resume life, I cried for day's on end, trying to figure out what had happened at the hospital, after a couple of day's with no sleep, I crashed on the bed and fell into a fitful sleep, the bedroom window was 5 foot from the bed, when all of a sudden I heard a crash, I bolted up to a sitting position to find the heavy velvet curtains pulled from the wall and draped across an antique sewing machine  I had in front of the window.

The first words out of my mouth were, "Daniel, what in the world are you doing"?

I smoked a cigarette and thought about what could be upsetting him, finally going back to sleep.

Just before daylight the dog (a 115# pit bull) started to whine, her tail wagging, waking me up, she was standing on the bed looking toward the windows, I raised up to see what she was looking at and Daniel was standing at the foot of the bed, he was pointing at his ostomy bag which had blood in it, I ask him what he was trying to tell me, I was scooting toward the foot of the bed toward him, the dog was bouncing up and down wanting to play with "daddy" I put my feet on the floor and looked down, when I looked back up he was gone.

A couple of day's later I was cleaning out the closet when a book fell off the top shelf, it was an old embalming book, it opened to the place of the problems embalming a body with cancer, my answer was there, he had bled to death internally.

Maybe three weeks passed and I was laying on the couch knitting and I must have dosed off, the next thing I knew Daniel was yelling my name from a window in a building across from the one I was in, he was smiling, and reached out the window toward me and said, "I love you cupcake" I have not seen him since but last year after being a widow for 4 years I met someone and we started a relationship, Daniel had decorated our kitchen with apple decor, my new boyfriend knew nothing of this, he came home with some apple plaques for the wall, it has been over a year now and my whole kitchen is done in apples again.

I can still at times smell his after shave, my boyfriend has smelled it also.

Background Information:

Date of experience:           within 2 weeks of his death

Length of time between death of deceased and your experience:          see above

General geographic location of experience:  Springfield, Ma

Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience:  in bed sleeping

Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:     Severe sadness and/or grief feelings

Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:         Asleep

After your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience:       Mixed

Have you had multiple experiences?   Yes     Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            N0 comment

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    "I love you cupcake:

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  clearly outside

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           it was Daniel

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           not unless a pit bull can talk

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   NO

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

It was Daniel in his painters cloths

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Solid, the dog saw him also

            How much of the deceased did you see?       All of him

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       just as if he had walked out of the house that morning

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Daniel had an ostomy bag from the age of 29, he had it when he appeared

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           aftershave, still smell it today, so does my boyfriend

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     yes

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        no2/3

How long did the experience last?        2/3 min.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         end was sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

he was VERY UNHAPPY

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  yes, see above

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Daniel said that if he could he would try to make contact, he answered questions about his death, and he is still around today, my new boyfriend came home day before yesterday, walked in the house and said," Hello, Daniel, smelled your aftershave."

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           at first confused as to why he was angry

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

yes, I knew what had happened to him, and I knew he was alright

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      getting peace of mind was the best, knowing that love doesn't stop at the grave, the worst was the period between his visit and getting confirmation of what he told me in the hospital records

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No      

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes     life continues beyond death

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

Daniel said when he was sick, that if he could he would come back, and see me, or leave a message

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes Hospital records recovered months later stated that he died of a massive internal hemorrhage.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            confused about what he was trying to tell me

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     they were happy  for me

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes