I was sleeping and for some reason I woke up. I was laying on my left side on the left side of the bed (my side) and I was sleeping alone. It was dark in the room. I saw a vaporous figure with a little bit brighter white outline of the shape which was my husband Johannes. He had the form of his earthly body and I could see the features of his face. He had golden curls of hair. What I particularly noticed was that he was very peaceful and he radiated happiness and calm. He was sitting on the floor next to my bed at eye height to me while I was partially laying down. He didn't actually speak with vocal chords (I couldn't "hear" him) but he spoke intuitively to me. I "heard" him in my head. He said my name and was quite comforting to me. I didn't find it at all strange to see him there although it was not something I had ever expected. He dematerialized while I watched and faded out to nothing. I was fully awake and lucid.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: My name, Annalisa, and the Dutch word for darling "lieveling" which he called me. He smiled a lot.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? It was inside my head but in his own voice. It was very clear and distinct. I "heard" it in my head.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? it was exactly his own voice in life.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? None at all.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
I have felt him in other experiences - see above mentioned experience regarding the car and feeling his actual hands on my shoulders. Physically.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? It was familiar but forceful like "look up!!!" as a warning.
Was anything communicated by the touch? Warning! I was nearly involved in a head on collision. He prevented it. I am absolutely sure about this.
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No.
Did you see the deceased? Yes
Exactly his body shape and form; his curls; his smile; his eyes although it was all diaphanous. There was a brighter white line around the outside like a very thin aura or like someone outlined him in white. He was completely visible from head to toe. A complete form which moved and communicated emotion.
How clearly did the deceased appear? very clearly although somewhat transparent i.e.: white, diaphanous form.
How much of the deceased did you see? Complete body.
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? yes. He died at 27 and he looked young and vibrant.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? Extremely healthy. Glowing.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No way. It was him.
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? I would guess about 2 - 3 minutes.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? I woke up and he was sitting next to the bed so it was sudden at the beginning because he was there already. The end of the experience was like he gradually faded out. He didn't just disappear all at once.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
Happy; peaceful; playful nearly...happy to see me. Comforting. Like a big brother instead of a husband. I felt a lot of love and comfort.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? No.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: Because I was fully awake and aware when I saw him. I was NOT dreaming. I was NOT hallucinating. And the fact that my friend Gerna experienced him on the same exact night in a kind of a vision. I believe that Gerna is clairvoyant and was tapping into my own experience.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
at the very beginning, I thought I may be dreaming. I woke myself up and LOOKED...I forced myself to actually experience it. It was not a dream.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Comforted; loved; proud of him; I was happy for him that he was happy in the next life.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
I was comforted in the fact that he was happy and okay. His death was sudden and not anticipated. It was a huge shock to everyone. This gave me some peace. What I enjoyed the most was his playfulness which he also had in life.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The only "bad" part of it was that it ended.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? No
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes I was more aware of HIS presence in my life. That he does visit me; follow what I'm doing; etc.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes I believe that there is some kind of energy transfer at death. Whether this be actual "life" after death or an energy imprint of some kind, I don't know for sure. But I do believe that we also keep these energies or spirits alive by loving them.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I needed to process the entire experience first. I was like "WOW... that was amazing. Did it really happen?" the skeptic in me was analyzing it for awhile. When my friend told me about what she had seen I couldn't believe it. I was actually happy and grateful to Johannes for visiting me and I felt like he still loved me although in a different way. The love is different now. It's more like a brotherly love. I felt that very clearly.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
My friend "observed" Johannes visiting me in a dreamlike vision. She lives across town from me. She was able to relay the fact that he had been at my bedside.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
I was more aware of HIS presence in my life.
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Most believed me completely. The others WANTED to believe me.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? No thank you.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
When I was 16 I was tubing (rafting) on a very swollen spring Colorado River in Colorado, USA. My inner tube flipped and I was thrown from it into a very rushing river. I felt myself being bashed up against the rocks on the bottom and sides of the river and the current kept me under. I thought I was going to drown. I was being so tossed about that I didn't know what was up. I put both arms up to try to feel air and I felt two strong hands grab my wrists and pull me out of the river. "They" laid me on a rock next to the bank. I looked around and there was no one. Nobody saved me. I believe it was an angel. I believe that I was saved for some other reason.