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Anne L's ADC

Experience description:  

My husband announced right before we were leaving on a Christmas cruise last December 2015 with his family that he was leaving me after 15 years of marriage and that he had already secured an apartment in the city with the lease to begin in February 2016.  I was absolutely devastated to say the least.  I had also had been the sole caregiver for my mother for a period of 5 years as my four other siblings were MIA and had not seen my mother in a decade. My husband's reason for leaving was that he felt abandoned when I had to take care of my mother. I was so crushed as I have always cared for and supported my husband ahead of myself.

February 10, 2016 -  I was not sleeping through the night and found myself wide awake with the recent departure of my husband. I was dreading Valentine's Day. I had closed my eyes for 10 - 15 minutes and when I opened them, my mother was sitting at the foot of the left-hand side of the bed and was just smiling at me.  She was in a dress (my favorite dress of hers) and she looked radiant and healthy as she did before she became sick. The dress choice was interesting to me because it was not the dress that she was buried in yet it was the one that I had always adored her in.  I immediately jumped out of bed and exclaimed 'Mom!, you look great!' and then I hugged her.  I can't tell you how long she stayed (it wasn't long) but it was the most amazing thing and it remains fresh in my mind's eye and heart today. 

I know that she appeared to me because she knew that I needed help and support for what I am going through with my husband.  I had never told my mother about my marital struggles due to the fact that she was in the throws of memory loss. At her bedside, an hour or so before she passed away, I decided to tell her about my struggles (it was Christmas night) even though her eyes were closed and she couldn't respond.  I knew somehow that she could hear my voice and understand since she was on her way to heaven. 

After she appeared to me, I was on cloud nine.  I couldn't believe it.  I was so happy and elated.  The only thing that disappointed me was that she didn't say anything to me.  I was hoping for words of wisdom even though her appearance was more than comforting.  My mother had always taught us that if we found ourselves in trouble that we should pray to God who would be there to help us.  I have been praying to God for marriage restoration and so that could be another reason why she appeared.  Anyway, it was absolutely amazing.  I think about her every day and wish that she would appear again.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?          No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?       No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           Yes

we hugged each other.

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?  We didn't hug a lot growing up but more so as she became older and sick.

So, it was familiar but a lot more meaningful.

            Was anything communicated by the touch? Not in words.  Just a hug of comfort and love.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          no

Did you see the deceased?        Yes

Looked healthy and not as she did when she died when she was frail and unresponsive.

How clearly did the deceased appear?           Very clear and solid.

How much of the deceased did you see?       I could see everything but her shoes and bottom of legs.

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?      She looked as if she was 70-ish.

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?           looked very healthy and stylish as usual.

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?   No

How long did the experience last?       maybe a minute or less

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        She was right there in the beginning and the ending was more abrupt.

As when I released from the hug, she was gone.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Very happy and happy to see me.  I felt she was proud of me too.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:            Because I was sleeping in a different bedroom than I had been in for 15 years and she knew to appear there.  Also, it just 'felt' real.  The emotion I received from it was so different in contrast to an emotion felt from a dream.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          Felt incredulous, amazed, relieved, happy, validated, reassured, ecstatic, loved

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          Yes

I felt like she validated that she heard me when I was speaking to her on her death bed.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     Seeing my mother.  Realizing she was gone.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?       No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  No       Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I felt that God sent her to help and comfort me.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?    No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?           happiness, jubilation

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?          No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     They listened and accepted what I told them.  None of them said anything negative or that there was no it happened or that it was ridiculous.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?      no

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes