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Annie S ADC

Experience description:  

The night following my daughter's death, I was only able to sleep for a few hours at first. I awoke and was laying in bed, watching my cat and staring at my laundry basket and feeling deep grief for my daughter, who had died in her sleep at our home very unexpectedly the night before. I checked my clock and saw that it was around 3 AM. Suddenly my daughter appeared at my bedside as she did every night while she was alive, to hug me and say goodnight. She was dressed in her pajamas, although they were not the ones she had died in. But they were definitely pajamas that she owned and that I recognized. She looked completely solid, but I did note that she did not walk into my bedroom. She simply appeared right at my bedside.

At first, I saw two different expressions cross her face and during each one, I 'felt' her speaking to me telepathically. First, she looked rather remorseful and bashful and communicated that she was sorry that she had left me. Next, she smiled and communicated, 'Can you believe I'm here like this, doing this?' And she laughed, but not out loud. Then she actually spoke to me out loud and said, 'Good night, Ima.' Ima is the Hebrew word for 'mother' and it's what she always called me.

I found myself standing and hugging her, although it was as if my body weightlessly and effortlessly rose up to embrace her. I could feel her solidly as I hugged her. As always, I kissed her left cheek and felt how soft it was, as usual. I cried out, 'Oh, Lily! I'll never get to feel your soft cheek again!' and I burst into tears. She immediately evaporated. I suddenly found myself laying back in my bed. I sobbed for a while until I finally cried myself back to sleep.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes

Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: She said goodnight to me. She was completely solid and looked completely normal and alive.

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? She first spoke telepathically, then said good night to me out loud.

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? It was her voice exactly.

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No. Only I and my fiancÚ were in the house, and he was sound asleep next to me.

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes

I hugged her and kissed her cheek.

Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Completely familiar.

Was anything communicated by the touch? No. It was our usual goodnight hug and kiss.

Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Absolutely not.

Did you see the deceased? Yes

Completely as if she was alive and exactly as she was before she died: young, healthy, happy, in her pajamas.

How clearly did the deceased appear? Completely solid.

How much of the deceased did you see? All of her.

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? No, she was the exact age as when she died.

How healthy did the deceased appear to be? Perfectly healthy and happy, as usual.

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No

How long did the experience last? Perhaps a minute.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? She appeared suddenly and evaporated suddenly.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes

She was sorry for me that I was sad, but also thought it was quite funny that she was coming to visit me after she died. Very typical of her sweet and funny personality.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? no.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real

Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: It was as real as when I saw her and hugged her the night before, when she was alive. It was as if she was completely there physically and alive.

Was the experience dream like in any way? No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I was not thinking at all at first. My instinct was simply to embrace and kiss my child. Upon hugging and kissing her, I burst into tears of deep grief.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes

I felt comforted that my daughter came to do our good night ritual after she died. And I was comforted to see that she was very happy and still very much herself.

What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was seeing and embracing my child, and realizing that she still exists in spirit form and that I can communicate with her. The worst part was my grief when she evaporated.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Describe: I am more patient and loving. I appreciate every day. I have realized that life on earth is not the end and thus I shouldn't worry about trivial things. Thus life feels easier and I am not afraid of dying anymore.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes I am certain that life goes on after death, and I no longer have any fear of death.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes I have no doubt that my daughter's soul lives on, and that she is capable of communicating with me.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I was extremely surprised that my daughter came to visit me, and that she seemed completely alive. At the same time, it also seemed completely natural that she would come to hug and kiss me again the night after she died. I felt no fear at all. It completely made sense, given our bond, that she would come to comfort me.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time? No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? No

Did you become aware of future events? No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Uncertain

I have some intuitions and have felt the presence of a deceased love one once prior, through scent.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes

I felt as if my body floated up to hug her, and then afterwards I was suddenly laying back in my bed.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?

Did you see a light? No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? No

Have you shared this experience with others? Yes They believed me and felt I was lucky to see my daughter.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? I really can't believe it happened! I'm very practical and logical. But given the bond between my daughter and I, it felt so very natural to see her after she died. It was lovely. I feel very lucky. I believe it was meant to comfort me and let me know that I will be with her again when I die.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes

The week before my daughter died, I saw a portal in her closed bedroom door, through which I saw a tunnel and then a bright light and lots of energy. A voice said, 'infinity' in my head. I was quite freaked out because I was home alone doing housework when it occurred. I told no one and passed it off as a peculiar thing that didn't merit further thought, because it scared me. I did not know then that my daughter would die a week later. Everything was great in our lives and I just thought it was a very strange thing.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes