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Anthony H's ADC

Experience description:  

My Mother had been very ill for around 10 years. She spent a long time on dialysis and eventually was given a kidney transplant. This allowed her to continue to live for a few more years, but eventually it started to fail and she became ill again with additional complications. I remember the day before she died speaking to her and she said to me "I'll see you later". She was quite bad at the time and didn't seem completely conscious, although she knew who I was and managed a little conversation she was very weak and I had the feeling this was the last time I'd see her. 

That night at around 3AM I awoke spontaneously for no obvious reason. As I sat up in bed, I just knew with complete clarity that my Mother had just died and she was right here in the room with me at the bottom of my bed near my feet looking at me. I couldn't see anything but sensed her presence. The experience lasted no more than 30 seconds. I spontaneously understood that she had little time and she was on her way and had to leave and that she would watch over me. I wanted to keep talking to her but realized she couldn't really wait, she had to go. 

I raised my right hand and waved and said goodbye, and told her that I hoped she would be alright and that I'll miss her and will see her again when my time comes. 

I felt sadness that she had died but knew that we would meet again one day, so not really grief, just some sadness, and some relief that she was now out of pain and suffering. 

I went back to sleep and the next morning I had a phone call from my Dad to say Mother had passed away during the night and died in her sleep. The time of death was estimated to be around 3AM. I found myself unsurprised at the news.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Uncertain

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   It wasnt really heard.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  I had the sense of knowing what was being communicated. It was like telepathy, there was no actual sound, her communication appeared like thoughts in my head.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           I don't think so

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Uncertain

I didn't really see her, I could just sense her presence and the approximate position where she was, at the end of my bed.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            invisible, indistinct, maybe like a shadow, or not even that.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        maybe 30 seconds or a minute.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         quite sudden. I was woken up from a deep sleep and there she was. She had to leave straight away with just a short time to say goodbye.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Uncertain

I think she was calm and at peace. She wanted to say goodbye and let me know she would look out for me.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes, she let me know she had just died. This turned out to be true and the time of death coincided exactly with the experience.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          Because of the timing. I knew at the exact moment she died, that it had happened even though I was in a different town.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Uncertain

I had just awoke from sleep, the communication was telepathic, although I sensed her presence and location she was not physically visible and the room was in darkness in any case.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes  I believe so because I was able to cope very well with the death of my Mother.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No    

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Uncertain      maybe a stronger feeling that there will be an afterlife but no clearer understanding of what actually happens when we die.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Uncertain      No, I'm just as confused as before. I'm pretty sure there will be an afterlife (or another life after this one) but I'm no closer to understanding the cycle of birth and death, how the universe works, why we are here, where we go afterwards, etc.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain Not really, only my Mother's time of death.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Wow, did that really happen?

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     polite interest.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

one out of body experience around 1984

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes