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Audrey N's ADC

Experience description:  

I was lying on my bed in a motel room  as he was in for a liver transplant and i was watching a movie but not really just killing time as i was told not to have a rest as the operation could take 12 hours.

The tv went blurred and i remember saying "no don't die you can't for no real reason" then i know he came and said goodbye. it was a presence.  i freaked out had a shower and begged him not to go, I was crying when the surgeon phoned to say he, had trouble calling me but mark had passed and when i got to the hospital 2mins away they told me he had died 15 mins ago which was when i felt it

I KNOW IT SOUNDS CRAZY  BUT THE SAME MOVIE HAS BEEN ON THE NIGHT OF HIS DEATH FOR AT LEAST THREE YEARS.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes, it was so clear but not in words

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   iT WAS MORE A PRESENCE BUT IT WAS AS IF HE WAS TALKING IN MY HEAD

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  iT WAS HIS VOICE IN MY HEAD BUT IT WAS THE LIGHT THAT WAS THE REAL THING

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           THE SAME BUT IN MY HEAD

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   NO

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

I CANT EXPLAIN BUT IT WAS IF HE WAS A CLOUD NO THAT'S NOT RIGHT EITHER  BUT IT WAS PART OF ME AND NOT

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   it was him but nothing I CAN DESCRIBE ONLY i felt and was not scared or anything it was just a goodbye and it just killed me knowing it was true

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  goodbye so clearly

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  no

Did you see the deceased?         Uncertain

i said goodbye and he was dead, but when he came to me in my dream or whatever he was like a light a silver kind of wispy cloud he was not as i see him it was more a wisp or a puff of silver smoke but i felt it all and it was mark

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            wispy silver no grounding it not the look it is you feel all in the second you see it

            How much of the deceased did you see?       not really it is a feeling but the silver wisp which was big but  vanished

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       he was a wisp and a feeling but the second time he was just like mark I KNOW

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            THE FIRST TIME HE WAS ONLY LIKE PETER PAN STUFF BUT ALL FEELINGS ,SECOND TIME EXACTLY AS I KNEW HIM

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Uncertain

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Uncertain

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  ONLY GOODBYE

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          YOU CANT EXPLAIN YOU JUST KNOW BECAUSE IT IS SO REAL

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Uncertain

What did you feel (while awake) immediately prior to your experience?            Confused

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           i KNEW ALTHOUGH I COULD NOT EXPLAIN EVEN TO MYSELF WHY AND i needed to go and prove me wrong but I was right and only because he some how told me


Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

iT HAS TAKEN ALONG TIME TO GRIEVE

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      I wanted to stay with my partner and i was horrified i had to come back but I am glad as my kids need me

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            I get down sometimes and i feel i don't belong here as it is hard without my partner

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?  Sacred

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I believe this is only a stepping stone we know nothing compared to the old man

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            N0 comment            IT MADE ME WONDER AND THINK ABOUT LOTS

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            wanted to believe IT WAS WRONG


Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes

my mother saw him too but was to scared to tell me for  months later

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

i was somewhere  i didn't know but in away I did

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

just I WAS NOT ALLOWED IN AND i felt they knew it all but so kind

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         only dreams  that a few come true but not good ones

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

i WAS WITH HIM IN MY DREAMS BUT AN OLD MAN KEPT TELLING ME TO GO HOME

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? 
Yes


an old man who wouldn't let me through as door

Did you see a light?           Yes

a very white light but the old man kept telling me to go home

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Yes

in an old place but it had an arch and i was not allowed through

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     i am nuts or grieving

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       no

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            Yes, a few beers

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes