Benita C's ADC 

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Experience description:  

My husband died unexpectedly the morning or late night of November 25, 2002.  I awoke to find him dead.  I couldn't believe it.  The day before he was healthy and then he was gone, leaving me alone with a 13 month old baby girl.  Days after his death I was desperate to know that he was okay.  I screamed and yelled for some sign that he was okay and not lost out there looking for me and asked him and god over and over again who would take care of us?  I was afraid of the concept of death because of the stories that I was told about people who had died "visiting," so I would not sleep alone.  My mother had to sleep with me and my baby. 

On this particular night I lay in the bed looking at the ceiling as I had done everyday since my husband's death trying to figure out how I would make it through another day and I suddenly felt sleepy and I dosed off.  I begin to dream or what I thought was a dream-- I was in complete darkness and I could feel the presence of my husband, but all I could see and hear was static.  The static was like a TV station that has lost its signal.  I started calling his name, I knew he was there, but would come through.  It was like he couldn't get the right signal or frequency.  I woke up and woke my mother up and told her that Bruce was trying to contact me but he couldn't get the signal straight.

The next night the same thing happened as a looked into the ceiling I suddenly dosed off.  Instantly I was in what seemed like a dream, but it was so vivid.  I was surrounded by dogs some where familiar to me because they were my dogs that had previously passed away!  In the distance I saw my husband approaching.  At first he was far away and then like the film skipped he was right in front of me.  I said his name (Bruce) and he said to me with a smile on his face, "I told you that I would always take care of you."  He then reached out to hand me a small white dog and said "I have the dog..." and I woke up.  It was not until a couple of days later that I realized what he meant when he said that he had the dog.  My grandmothers white dog Tiffany died two days after my husband and he wanted her to know that he was taking care of her.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  out side of me.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was his voice, his smile, his mannerisms

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes, He looked very happy, his hair was different it was longer than he would wear it.

How clearly did the deceased appear?            He was solid

How much of the deceased did you see?       All of him

Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       He was the age of his death

How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He looked very healthy

Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           NO.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

How long did the experience last?        A matter of minutes.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The beginning was gradual, I awoke in this place and was unsure where I was and it took me a couple of seconds to take it in.  The end of the dream was sudden.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

He seemed very happy and almost surprised that I thought that he wouldn't be able to take care of me.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  That he knew my grandmothers dog had passed away and that he was taken care of her.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          It was real because it was like I was somewhere else.  My husband did not know my dogs that had a passed away when I was a child, but they were there.  Plus, he answered my question, who was going to take care of me with an attitude that he would do it and not to question it anymore, which I have not.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

I saw my husband in the distance first and then like in a film that was spliced in two jumps he was right in front of me.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           After my husbands death I asked the same question over and over again who was going to take care of me.  I was crippled with fear that I was going to be homeless with a young child.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes, I was no longer desperate, I was ready to face some of my grief.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was seeing him again.   the Worst knowing that he had really died.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes, I knew that we do not die.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes

I was always told to ask and your prayers would be answered.  This was the ultimate answer to my prayers.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peace, it knew that I was still being taken care of by my husband.  I knew that he was okay.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes

Those who I have shared this experience with have appeared to believe me.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       No.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No