With Norman I found the computer on at 3 am when I let the dogs out.  It kept going into safe mode-I had told him to let me know if he was okay before he died.  There were pennies found (and still are) heads up a lot.  I often feel his presence, but have never seen him.  My 9 year old was only going on 2 at the time, but she claimed to see him a couple of times waving at her and then in her room while playing.  Often can feel his laugh or a comment he would make. 

With Gary I have not seen him.  The 9 year old said she did at a railroad crossing as we waited for a train and he asked her if I was taking his death too hard and that he wished he was alive.  He left and then ran through the train to the other side and ran after our car (he on the sidewalk) waving and calling us.  He told her to be good and take care of the little sister and me.  Then she saw him about 2-3 weeks later when we were at a stop sign waiting for traffic and said he was right beside the truck at my window right there beside me.  He was sad I could not see him and left as we pulled away.  My granddaughter talked to him each time.  I heard her but saw and heard nothing else.  Felt a little weird but not afraid.  Also have felt I could hear what he would say a times-found a blouse on a rack, where we had both been 3 days before his death-this was a month after and felt he was saying that it was ugly and too old for me.  I have found a small screw in my sandal that I had not worn for quite awhile and later the same kind of screw at this place I found the blouse (same day in fact).  He was always fixing things and leaving nails and screws around.  He knew of Norm and that I found pennies and what they meant to Norm and I. 

With the NDE, I was in a very serious car accident and I was looking at my body laying in the car really injured.  I saw a meadow with yellow (not like yellow here) flowers everywhere and blue sky and green grass (again not like I ever knew before)  Melanie, my friend told me I could not come and not to touch her and there behind her was my grandmother and great uncle on a garden swing snapping peas and waving to me to come to them.  Melanie told me I had to go back and I did not want to and so I stayed there and looked down to see others trying to awaken me and get me out of the car.  I did go back and still wished I could have stayed.  Melanie told me I had to go back and raise my 2 year old who was not with me in the accident.  This child is my only and she is the mother of the 9 year old granddaughter.  My daughter has Melanie as part of her given name.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

But knew others would not understand and would question my sanity or state of mental competency  Did not readily share with others

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?           

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    Thought I heard Norm's laughter, thought I heard Gary's thought/word, saw and heard Melanie and saw relatives

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  inside of me

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           similar

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           do not think anything was around to hear at any of these times-no radio, television or conversation really going on

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   While I am hard of hearing no impairment was there at the time of the experience

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

did not see Norman, did not see Gary-granddaughter did, saw Melanie and the relatives very clearly

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            did not see Norman, Granddaughter described him as solid-but he ran thorough the train to the other side to follow us and that he was solid in the last sighting but faded away and she described what he was wearing and saying, in my NDE is saw them all as solid and happy and dressed in bright colors.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Norm none, Granddaughter saw him in total first time and last time as he would appear standing next to our truck window, I saw Melanie and relatives as totally Melanie in front of me and relatives at distance sitting on the garden swing

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       YES

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Very healthy  Norman was very ill at death and had been most of life, Gary was healthy according to granddaughter who saw him and he had been an alcoholic who was tragically killed, Melanie was killed in a head on car collision with her car engine in the driver's seat and she was decapitated and thrown out of the car-my grandmother died in the hospital after a long fight with cancer and my great uncle died of heat prostration and was very frail when he died

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           I really don't think so

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           With Gary-after he died I smelled coffee (he drank it a lot but I have not been able to make or drink it since he died) and I smelled cigarette smoke at Kroger's inside (no smoking in store and no one close to me) a month or so after he died.  With NDE I did not smell anything I can remember

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     Gary smoked a lot, but tried to quit a lot-he made coffee all the time-every morning and drank it in the morning with a neighbor man.

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   I was angry at myself for not making Gary coffee the last morning of his life and left for work angry at him (had words night before and that morning) also I always yelled about his smoking around me.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        Not sure....I had no coffee made or making at home at time I smelled it and Kroger has a no smoking in store policy and no one was close to me at time

How long did the experience last?        Very limited time-minute or more

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         sudden

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           No

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  wish they had-with Gary I keep asking for answers to millions of questions about us and relationship and especially about the night he die and what really happened and evidence against the people responsible

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           The feelings I had and also have read and heard of others experiences

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Uncertain         

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Want to be with my loved ones and want to know it was real  Want to see, feel them again

Norm-more reassured he is okay,  with Gary want to see him too, with NDE want to go back and wanted to stay

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Want to go back to meadow, miss Gary A LOT and miss others too

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No      

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  No           

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   Yes

With Norm and Gary

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Want to go to be with them, but not suicidal in any way

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Uncertain

No one the NDE with Melanie-my friend and relatives NDE was what I experienced, with Norm-just me, with Gary we heard the 9 year olds words and she told us about it-she had 2 sightings-one with me and 3 year old sister-the other with 3year old myself and friend (33) and kids (5) (2)

Did you see a light?           No

Meadow was BRIGHT

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     FEW

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       NO

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

None smoker, drinker and do not take any drugs

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

Told above

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes