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BLM's ADC

Experience description:  

My great grandmother (GG) and I had always been close as far back as I could remember as she lived with my grandmother (her daughter) and therefore was very much involved in my weekend visits and regular phone calls.  In her final years she moved into a nursing home - I continued to visit her weekly and speak regularly on the phone with her, often playing my musical instrument over the phone to her delight.

She was always very expressive when showing her love - she would often call me by an endearing nickname, and would almost yell it out with a big smile on her face, followed by many kisses and hugs.  (Just writing about this makes me smile even now).

In her final days she had moved into a hospital and many family members arrived for their final goodbyes.  I however was anxious about going into her actual room to see her as I simply couldn't handle it - so many tubes, machines etc. and with her in obvious discomfort.  The idea of death at that point in my life was terrifying to me.  And as such, I was the only family member who did not say a final goodbye.

That night I went home and finally went to sleep for the night.  At exactly 1:42 AM I was woken by the sound of her voice loudly and joyfully calling out my endearing nickname repeatedly, just like she did during life.  It was just like actual hearing only it was internal in my mind only.  As I woke I was slowly nodding my head side to side from the loud voice in my mind.  It was overwhelming and woke me right up to a sitting position in bed.  It was her and I knew it.  I felt absolutely no fear which was incredible as I was terrified of the idea of 'ghosts' to the point where I was often afraid of the dark (and sometimes still am).

Another interesting aspect, although somewhat odd (and embarrassing!), is that for a couple weeks up to that point I had been suffering with moderate bowel difficulty.  Within seconds of waking from her calling, I immediately felt a visit to the bathroom was required, only to discover that my medical issue was fully resolved, and it remained that way.  Then I immediately fell back asleep, again without any fear of what had happened.

The next morning I received a call from my aunt stating that my GG had passed away the night before - and I was not at all surprised.  When I asked for the time of death, my aunt stated that she received a call from my GG's hospital at 1:45AM - just about 3 minutes after the time of my experience.

I recall thinking at this time that it was her 'will' that reached out to me, as I was very unaware at the time of the typical terms used to describe our souls or after death communication.  That was the best way to describe it.

It was incredibly real.  I knew immediately it was her and to this day have absolutely no doubt that it was her.  I often think of this experience and it provides me much comfort when thinking about my own mortality.

I continue to wish that this would happen again, or that she would somehow communicate with me.  When I prey, I typically prey to her.

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     Yes   How real it was and how unlike a dream it was.  Otherwise it is easy to express in words.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   Yes   

Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:     Her voice was incredibly real and clear.  At exactly 1:42 AM I was woken by the sound of her voice loudly and joyfully calling out my endearing nickname repeatedly, just like she did during life.  It was just like actual hearing only it was internal in my mind only.  As I woke I was slowly nodding my head side to side from the loud voice in my mind.  

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?   Internally - I heard her loud and clear. 

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     Exactly like her real voice.     

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   No  

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   No                   

Did you see the deceased?   No                      

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    No                

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     Happiness, love, joy - just as when she called to me in life.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    The timing of her 'visit' to coincide with the time of her death and the realness of her voice in my mind was unmistakable.

Was the experience dream like in any way?    No   

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    Yes    I still felt sad and missed her but felt very blessed and special that she found a way to reach me.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    Knowing she was there was the best part, and hearing the love in her voice.  The worst part was that for many evenings after I felt frightened that I would be revisited, although I was completely calm during the experience itself.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    No        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    Yes    Belief that we continue to exist after death - that my GG continues to exist.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Yes    I believe that she goes on and that we all do - that this is very likely.    Her death was confirmed the next morning which coincided with the time of my experience.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    No    As far as I know.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        No   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     No   

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    Reactions to my experience which I shared with family members at the time were silence - or no comment. A few people I have more recently told as an adult were more engaging (especially from those who believe in life after death, or those who have recently lost a loved one)

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No        

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    No   

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No    I wish!

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      No   

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    No