I did not sleep well last night but didn't feel extra tired this morning either.  I got up at 6:00, had coffee, and did some thinking about my daughter who is in the Army.  I am not sure if this led to my experience or not.  My brother Jimmy, who passed away on June 29, 1999 was also in the Army.  I was not thinking of him at the time though.  Maybe on a subconscious level but he certainly was not on my mind.   

Around 8:30 a.m., I started not feeling well.  I thought maybe I should eat something.  I made a bagel, took one bite and felt nauseous.  I decided to go lay down and hope the feeling would go away if I rested.  I was wide awake but trying to relax.  I closed my eyes and kept seeing turquoise blue spots.  At first they were like a few quarter size spots.  I kept opening my eyes to make it stop because it was very strange and I wasn't feeling well so they made my stomach more upset.  When I closed my eyes again, the spots became smaller and more and more of them appeared until it was like it was raining turquoise blue rain.  Then I saw an opening that was very very bright.  Brighter than white.  It was glowing and had a fuzzy ring around it.  I started to think I was dieing.  People have said that before you die, you see a bright light and you need to go toward it.  I was scared so I opened my eyes again to make it go away.  I was afraid to close my eyes again but at the same time, something told me I should.  So I decided I would close my eyes but I was not going to go toward the light. 

When I closed my eyes this time, I saw flashes of images.  Very vivid and extremely colorful.  The colors were much more vivid than I have ever seen before.  The images started out with a face but I couldn't identify it.  It was there and then it was gone.  The images were coming very fast.  A face, a skeleton, a skull with a hole in it, a gravesite with several people weeping (I think one of them was me but I am not sure), a beautiful black-eyed Susan, a butterfly, a dragonfly, and then, I saw my brother Jimmy.  He was saying something to me but I never heard his voice.  I had to lip read.  It was difficult and I kept asking him what he was trying to tell me.  The first word I figured out after some time was hello.  Once, I knew what the word was he kept saying it over and over only I couldn't hear it.  Then I saw him as I saw him in his coffin the night of the wake.  He stopped talking to me.  I kept asking him what he needed to tell me.  I asked him if he was trying to tell me that someone would be joining him in heaven.  Then he appeared to me in a white dress shirt unbuttoned halfway down and said yes.  I asked him to tell me who but he wouldn't say.  I asked him if it was mom and he said no.  I asked him to please tell me who it is.  He was trying to tell me but I couldn't read his lips so I asked him to spell it for me.  It took some time but he eventually did.  I saw the letters D A D.  I said Dad?  Jimmy shook his head up and down to indicate yes.  Then he went away. 

I needed to know more so I asked him to please come back and tell me more.  In the meantime, I saw more vivid images.  I saw my dad, an x-ray of some broken bones, water, mountains, and a beautiful sunset.  The most beautiful sunset I ever saw.  More colorful than any colors I can describe.  Jimmy and I had gone to watch a sunset together on a beach in Florida a year before he died.  It was a very memorable moment to both of us.  But this sunset that appeared to me was much more vivid and impressive. 

Jimmy appeared to me again, this time in a bathing suit sitting in a chair.  I could see his birthmark with was rather large on his chest.  I remembered how much I like his birthmark.  It was red and shaped like South America.  It was very distinctive and unusual.  When I saw it again, I had a feeling of happiness.  I thanked him for showing me the beautiful sunset.  He said, you remembered huh?  I said yes, I remember, I remember that along with many other wonderful memories.  I asked him to tell me if Dad was already with him.  He said no.  I asked him to tell me when Dad was going to be joining him in heaven.  I stink at lip reading and couldn't tell if he was saying August or April.  I asked him to show me the date on a calendar.  I did not see a calendar but I saw the number 8 twice.  I asked him if he meant August 8th.  Jimmy shook his head to indicate yes.  I asked him how is Dad going to die?  Jimmy disappeared again. 

What I saw next was very disturbing.  My Dad is currently traveling the country towing a motor home.  He is in South Dakota at the present time but the last time I talked to him he said he was going to be heading toward Arizona soon.  I saw a country highway, two lanes, and a curve in the road.  Around the curve this is a cliff.  Then the image changes to a truck towing a motor home going off the cliff and into a body of water.  This image was repeated several times. 

I asked Jimmy to come back and tell me where this road is.  Jimmy came back in the white dress shirt he had on in a previous appearance.  I asked him again to tell me where the road is.  I thought he said Texas but I wasn't sure.  I asked him if he meant Texas and his image was replaced by a beautiful yellow rose.  A rose with the most beautiful petals and an amazing color of yellow.  All I could think of was the it must be Texas because of the yellow rose of Texas.   

Jimmy came back one more time.  This time it was only his face.  Maybe he figured out that I stink at lip reading and he had to come closer so I could see his mouth better.  He asked me how I was doing.  I told him that I was doing ok but needed to ask him a question.  I asked him what he thought of the guy I am dating.  This time I could read his lips plain as day, he said, he is good for you, keep him.  Then he started to fade away.  As he was getting farther and farther away from me, he was waving and blowing kisses until I couldn't see him anymore.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? 

No

Did you see the deceased?        

Yes

He appeared as I knew him when he was healthy.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid.  very vivid.  the colors were amazing

            How much of the deceased did you see?       sometimes just a face, sometimes from the waist up, and sometimes his whole body

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       he appeared to be the same age, 38, only healthy.  Like I knew him 3 months before he died.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He appeared very healthy and vibrant.  At the time of his death he was bedridden, incontinent, unable to feed himself, and unable to speak clearly.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?     

No

How long did the experience last?       

one hour

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        

The beginning was very gradual.  I didn't know what I was seeing at first or who it was but once I figured it out the images came very quickly.  The ending of the experience was gradual also.  He just faded away waving and blowing kisses as he got further and further away from me.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

No

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

not sure yet.  The information I was given was that my Dad was going to die in an auto accident in Texas over a cliff into a body of water on August 8th.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:         

It was very real.  There is no way I could have seen all that I saw without it being real.  I was wide awake, not feeling well and trying to rest.  I had no thoughts on my mind at the time other than the fact that I didn't feel well.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  

No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          

mixed.  I was scared at first, then I was happy to see my brother again.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

No

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

The best was seeing my brother again healthy as I knew him and the extremely vivid colors of the images I saw.  The worst was the information he gave me that my Dad will be joining him in heaven.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?        

No      

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No      

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? 

No           

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         

Uncertain I will have to wait until August 8th to see what happens to my Dad.  Or, maybe I can change it by telling him not to go anywhere near Texas.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?           

Very much at peace with being able to talk to my brother again, but, at the same time upset because of the information he relayed to me.  I am very worried about my Dad.  I called and spoke to him and I know that he is ok but I am worried about him.  I forgot to ask Jimmy what year Dad might die, I am only assuming that he meant this year.

Did you become aware of future events?      

Uncertain, I was told my Dad was going to have an accident and die on August 8th.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           

Yes

I saw a gravesite with several people weeping.  I couldn't really say who they were as it was too far away.

Did you see a light?          

Yes, It was a very bright round light with a fuzzy ring around it.  The light was brighter than anything I have ever seen before.

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?      

I forgot to mention in the description of the experience above that I asked Jimmy to tell me what it is like in heaven.  He showed me a dark dark place with stars and shooting stars and then he showed me how a deceased person can land on a star if they want or they can shoot across the sky.  He showed me how they can look down on earth and zero in wherever they want to be.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            Uncertain

I recently, 7/21/2005, was put on xanax xr .2mg for anxiety.  However, I did not take my pill last night as I usually would because I had forgotten to take it.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?        

No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?          

No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?              

Yes, I have explained to the best of my ability what I experienced and your questions were helpful in my remembering exactly what happened to me. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.   

If the person feels compelled like I did to find a way to get there experience down in writing before it fades away there should be a question related to having the experience and responding within a few hours.  A feeling of compulsion.  Not sure how you could word it.

Greetings!

-----Original Message-----
From: Brenda R
Sent: Tuesday, August 09, 2005 6:36 AM

First of all, I would like to thank you for your response. Yes I would love for you to post my experience.  It was extremely intense and dramatic 

I have since then obviously contacted my Dad.  Guess what, the brakes on his vehicle were gone (on August 8th).  He was also somewhat concerned and checked out the vehicle.  Had he driven this day, he would have had no brakes.  The Texas part of the experience was somewhat incorrect.  He is in Custer (which I could have mistaken for Texas as I never heard my brothers voice, only his mouth was moving and I had to lip read).  I described to my dad the road I saw with the sharp curve and the body of water below and I asked him in there are any roads near him that are even remotely similar.  He told me that that type of scenery and curvy roads overlooking bodies of water are everywhere.  Not only that, on the day I actually had the dream, he had a close encounter on a road trying to maneuver the curve and was almost sideswiped by an oncoming vehicle.   

I also have check with my MD to see if any of the medications I am currently taking could have caused such an experience.  His response what a definite no. 

I go to counseling and asked my counselor at my next visit what this could mean.  He explained to me, though very rare, I had was is referred to as a hypnogognic dream.  It apparently occurs during a state where you are neither asleep or awake.  The in between time.  Not only that he explained to me that it is a rare experience that occurs to certain individuals who are going through life altering events and their life circumstances are forcing them to reinvent their lives.  In other words, one life has dramatically changed and you need to go on and reinvent yourself to become a different person because you can never be the person you once were.  I lost my husband 5 months ago and am going through life altering changes in order to survive.  I will never be what I once was.  Half of me died with my husband and I am trying my best to get it back.  I know I will never be the same person I once was but I am working on become a whole person again. 

Please let me know your thoughts.  I also looked up each image in a dream dictionary.  The definitions that I found were not all bad, however, they did all describe me and what I am going through.  Every single image referred to me in some way or another.  I have typed out the images and there meanings and would be happy to forward them to you, however, they are not on this computer.  If you are at all interested in the results I learned through the dream dictionary, please contact me at Lboy7811@aol.com and I will be able to send you the definitions. 

Thanks again for responding and I would appreciate any of your thoughts or ideas.  This was so overpowering and so real that I can't let it go. 

Thanks, 

Brenda

-----Original Message-----
From: Jeffrey Long, M.D. [mailto:nderf@nderf.org]
Sent: Friday, August 05, 2005 8:00 PM

Greetings!

            I just read your remarkable contribution to the www.adcrf.org web site.  I would strongly encourage you to contact your father as soon as possible and share this with him.  If at all possible, I would advise he not travel on August 8, or at least not travel in the circumstances that you have seen.  You might indicate to him that this would be very important for your peace of mind.  From my perspective, having reviewed hundreds of ADC (After Death Communication) accounts, I am impressed at how occasionally information can be delivered during these experiences that is very accurate and very important.  Another thought is as follows- with your permission, I would love to post what you shared (anonymously) on the web site www.nderf.org  which will give others the opportunity to let you know if there is anything else you should think about with regard to "yellow roses", and perhaps other aspects of the experience.  Please let me know your thoughts on this. 

Best regards, 

-Dr. Jeff Long