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Candice F's ADC

Experience description:  

It was my birthday and the next day I was burying my little brother that I have loved my whole life with all my heart.  It was the 5th day he was gone, I fell asleep crying and got about 5 hours from being exhausted.  I woke up very thirsty around 3 or 4 am.  I went down stairs into my kitchen to get a drink.  I didn't get one, I was staring at the wall on the left of my sink and I was thinking that I was never going to see my brother again.  I was in so much shock more then grief.  I stood there for a few minutes just trying to make sense of how my brother was dead at 19 years old when I had just talked to him the day before he died and was suppose to meet him as soon as he came home. 

I heard a voice say, "Candice are you alright"? I was very startled, it was a very clear voice I didn't know where it came from.   I turned around right away and no one was behind me, it had seem to come from behind me.  I looked around the door way of my kitchen and no one was there.  I couldn't move I was just so startled and then the voice came again and said, "Candice are you ok"? I was starring straight ahead and the voice was right in front of me.  It was very shocking and scary for me and I don't know why because this was my little brother I loved him I still do so I don't understand why his voice scared me so much.  But he was dead, I saw his body at the hospital and I heard his voice, I couldn't make sense of it in my head.  It didn't make sense, how could this be possible? I ran out of the kitchen like a bolt of lightning and upstairs into my bathroom and closed the door. 

I did not come out until almost 7am when I heard another family member get up out of the room they where staying in.  I was in such a bad way when he died, I had 3 years clean off drugs and after the funeral I ended up back on the drugs pretty quickly got 10x's as bad.  I was numb and in a bad way for a while; almost 2 1/2 years.  I got clean in March of 2011, since then when my head came out of the clouds.  My family didn't believe me but I know what I heard.  I always wondered why he contacted me and not my mom cause she was sooooo hit hard by his death.  It was years later that I realized it was my birthday and I was burying my brother the next day when he contacted me.  That I didn't believe in life after death before that and I do now.  But I will always wonder for the rest of my life and will always wish every day that I said, "no I'm not ok but are you?"

Was the experience difficult to express in words?     Yes   why I was so scared

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?   Yes   

Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:     a very clear voice out of thin air, twice  

Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?   outside of me like he was speaking to me and standing right behind me, like a very clear but low voice. very direct, very calm, very concerning voice. 

If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?     yes     

Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?   no I'm positive of that, there was no one awake in the house but me  

Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?   No                   

Did you see the deceased?   No                      

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?    No                

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?   Yes     calm, concerned

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?   no I ran away

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?    Experience was definitely real    I was very aware of my surroundings, I knew know one was awake but me, I was calm my mind wasn't manic from the bipolar, I was tired but aware.  The voice was very clear, very distinct, and I heard it twice

Was the experience dream like in any way?    No   

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?    Yes    I believe that there is life after death and I will see my brother again some day

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    best-knowing I will see my little brother again, and that when you die its not the end    worst-not responding

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?    Uncertain        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?    Yes    life after death is certainly real

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?    Yes    life after death, then passing over

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?   No

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?    No   

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?       No   

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?        No   

Did you become aware of future events?           No   

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?     Yes    a dream of my deceased grandmom giving me a very strange psychic reading, she was talking to me through a TV like screen and her eyes where white (she use to read cards) She said things are going to get very bad, stay calm, don't be afraid, no monkey business (that's what she said when she didn't want me to drink or use drugs) that's all I remember

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    No   

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No   

Did you see a light?    No   

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?   No   

Have you shared this experience with others?    Yes    my family does not believe me, mom and dad, my friends have tried to contact medians after what I told them

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?    No   

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?    I wish it would happen again

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?    Yes    Geodon - bipolar medication taken at bed time around 10pm the night before

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?   No   

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?      No   

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes