Candy E's ADC
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Experience description:  

My ADC concerned an old boyfriend, Will. 

I had been told on Monday, that he died on Friday. I was in a terrible state of sadness through the week. 

On Thursday,  I was contacted by telephone, early in the evening, by a women he met while he and I were involved. He had left me for her 5 years earlier. He told me he dated her less than four months, but they stayed friends. At the time it broke my heart.  I had met her a few years earlier accidentally, and she told me about the circumstances. All water under the bridge, five years later.  

I was told he had a heart attack and had died suddenly,  I was devastated because I still cared for him and we had become good friends again.  

I just didn't want to leave my home and cry with a bunch of people I didn't know well, especially his last string of girlfriends!  I counted about 17 that I knew of over that past five years..... The rest of the family wasn't very close to me either. I remembered his two sons, with fondness, but I hadn't seen them anywhere in those five years. I lived less than 2 miles away from his home, but I had my own life. 

This woman called to tell me "I was needed" at his home. She thought that I somehow I knew him better than anyone, and should be there.  I was truly uncomfortable with the thought of going over there. I was saying over and over to her on the phone.... NO!........... When I heard his voice. HIS VOICE! 

It sounded as if he were standing just behind me in the kitchen where I was sitting cross-legged on a kitchen chair, talking to her in the darkening room. 

He said, "Please, don't let my family rift.   PLEASE!   Don't let my family RIFT!" 

(I never used the word "RIFT!"  He was always doing crossword puzzles, and he used all kinds of words I didn't normally use.) 

I hung up fast, changed my clothes, and went straight over to his house. I didn't even know why.  My Mom and I had just seen him a few weeks earlier, and he had told her that if something happened to him, what he would want done.   

Well, Something was happening at his house and it wasn't good. My mom and I were the only one's who had the information that could stop this bad deed from happening but she wasn't with me. It concerned a misinformed, well-meaning brother, but because he was misinformed, this deed would have been destructive. It was a potentially disastrous thing that he was about to do. It would have left him estranged from the ex-wife and her two sons! The family would have "RIFTED!!" 

I was able to stop this from happening, by explaining to the grandfather what was said to me and my mother a few weeks earlier, and the brother was told by his dad, that his DEED was not necessary, and that all would be fine if things followed a natural and fair course instead.  

Instead of a RIFT, the grandfather bought a home next door to the boys and their mother, and the brother lived next door, and helped to raise the boys. The family stayed close. I ran into the brother and he told how well everything worked out. This last year I ran into the youngest son, who was now almost 6 foot 3 inches tall! He said hello to  me with a really big smile!  I knew that I had done the right thing that night by going over there!   

I was not involved in there lives, and I am not involved today, but, I was able to save them from a terrible situation. If I hadn't heard my old boyfriend speak to me in his own words, in his own voice, after his death, I never would have left my home that night. I wouldn't have known anything or been able to intervene. 

I found out later that his body had already been cremated days before this episode occurred.  

I learned from this experience, that our "beings" are absolutely NOT connected to the body remains, and we do go on. We still have connections to our relationships, and we still know our friends. I believe completely that there is LIFE after DEATH, and that LOVE is, and always will be the glue that keeps us connected to each other.

Background Information:

Date of experience:          

July 31, 1997'


Length of time between death of deceased and your experience:         

5 days


Was the date of the experience significant in any way?     He died just after my birthday, but the date of contacting me was not critical to me, but it was to him. There were things going on that day at his home where he had lived with his brother and things were happening that could have been very bad.

General geographic location of experience: 

Newbury Park, California, at my home.


Details of location of experience and your activity at the time of experience: 

I was in my kitchen at dusk, talking to a woman, an ex-girlfriend of his, the one who he dumped me for, ironically.  It was getting dark as I sat there in the conversation with her. I had met her a few years earlier by chance, and we had compared notes and stayed friendly.


Degree of bereavement for deceased immediately prior to the experience:    

Severe sadness and/or grief feelings


Degree of alertness immediately prior to experience:         Fully alert

After your experience, did you consider the contents of your experience:      

Wonderful


Have you had multiple experiences?   Yes     A number of Telepathic experiences, but only a few from the deceased.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? 

No


Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?           

No


Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

Yes


            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:  

He said: 

"Please don't let my family rift!.......  Please! Don't let my family rift!"

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? 

Outside of me, right behind where I was sitting, as if he were standing there.


            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?          

It was HIS VOICE!


            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          

NO!


            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  

NO.


Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           

No


Did you see the deceased?        

No


Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?     

No


How long did the experience last?       

15 seconds, maybe.....


Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        

Just like regular conversation.


Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

Yes   He was desperate.


Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

I didn't know what I knew, until I got over there and saw what was going on. Then I realized what I knew, and what I had to do. I couldn't tell the brother, he would not have believed me. I had to wait till the Grandpa showed up, and told him what I knew.  Of course, I never told him who sent me there! 

I did discuss it a few days later with his best friends. They also had experiences with him. The Tuesday before, his business partner sensed his presence and spoke to him, out of familiarity, and then felt foolish after speaking. 

On Wednesday, his best friend's family smelled an orange scented vest he always wore, and felt his presence. Their 3 year old said that her UNCLE as she called him was there! 

And then on Thursday, my experience happened. I didn't know about there experiences until the following Saturday when we all got together at the memorial service and talked. 

Other odd things happened there.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

Experience was definitely real


            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:         

I had know way of knowing what was going on at that house, and I didn't want to go there. When my old boyfriend implored me to HELP, I went. I saw what was going wrong and found that I had the info to correct the problem. It took about 2 hours to get it done, but it worked.   

If I hadn't heard him I never would have gone over there.. I felt it wasn't any of my business.  It wasn't MY business. It was my ex-boyfriends. It turned out he did need me.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  

No


Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          

I was grieving because I had lost my friend, angry because the girl he dumped me for presumed to know my relationship with him, and so very sad about it all.  I wasn't confused, or undecided. I had NO INTENTIONS of going over to that house.  Then he spoke to me.


Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

Yes


Only years later, when I finally found out what had happened. I didn't get any information from the family for years.  When I saw the brother he told how well things turned out. When I saw the younger son, he looked wonderful. He asked me why I stopped loving his dad. I was able to tell him, I never did, he broke up with me.  I missed the kids all those years. That was the healing!

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

The best was hearing his voice. The worst, I haven't heard it since.


Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?        

Yes    
            Describe:     

I now realize that LOVE and caring is most important in my life and try to achieve it in as many relationships with people as possible. I care much more.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     More conviction, no uncertainty.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?           

Yes     If my ex could speak to me and implore me to do him a favor after he was cremated.....  there is life after death. Our intelligence and emotions and communication abilities are not dependent on our physical bodies or being "alive" in the body. We are alive without the body!


Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?       

No


Not yet, but my mother and grandmother did that.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         

Yes Only that an impending RIFT was about to be caused in his family. That was the case.


What emotions did you feel during the experience?           

I was confused, nervous, but fully decided to go and find out what HE needed me to do. I absolutely believed it was him, and if he had to cross back over to talk to ME, it had to be important.


Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?          

Uncertain


I didn't tell this woman on the phone what was happening. I just said, "No, I don't want to come over...... No.............................. "I will be there shortly."

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?  

No


Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?   

No


Did you become aware of future events?      

No


Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Same as before.


Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?    

No


Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?           

No


Did you see a light?          

No


Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?           

No


Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Some listen and say it is a good story, but I can tell they are skeptics. Others believe and tell me their stories.

 

I mentioned it to the woman who had called me when I ran into her, but I don't think she believed me. At the memorial service his friend and partner absolutely believed me, and they then felt surer about their own episodes that week.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  

Yes


I first emailed it to Jeff, and he sent me your website, so I am entering it hear in detail.

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?      

I wish I could have seen him as well as heard him.  I wonder if any of the other people in his life have seen, heard or smelled him since?


Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?        

No 


I have had other episodes of Psychic experiences, but not with him.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?          

Yes 


I was near-death, and burning high fever, and very sick, to the point where I was giving up, but I didn't leave my body. At one point I wanted to, to escape the pain, but I didn't go. I did talk to GOD a lot that two weeks! ;-)

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?              

Yes


Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.   

Takes a long time.