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Cassie Z's ADC

Experience description:  

I had been driving in to Los Angeles almost daily to spend as much time with Mom as possible.  We knew pretty early on that the cancer was diagnosed far too late to really do anything about it.  I had taken time off from my studies at the university to have this time with her.  

I have had a number of out of body experiences myself and have had no real fear of death.  Mom had been quite afraid.  I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible, and especially to be there at the end to help ease her through her passing.  But when the inevitable night came, I had had to drive back home that afternoon to pick up my kids from school and make dinner. 

I was tired that day . . . horribly tired.  I couldn't find it in me to drive back in to the city to be with her that night.  My sister called me just before 9:00 pm to tell me Mom's breathing had become terribly labored and her doctor didn't think she was going to make it through the night.  It broke my heart to tell her I couldn't come back and be there. 

After the phone call, I went right to bed and instantly fell asleep.  I awoke for no apparent reason at 10:00 pm and saw my mother standing at the foot of my bed.  She looked young, healthy, and she was smiling at me.  She told me "I'm okay now."  I smiled back at her and told her "I know.  That's what I wanted to tell you."   

I called my sister the next morning and she told me Mom had died at 10:00 pm.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   She told me she was okay now.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  It seemed quite outside of me.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was my mother's voice.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No.  Nothing else in the room was on.  Nothing else in the house was on.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

She appeared a bit younger than she was at the time of her death and she was smiling.  She was happy.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Quite clearly.  Not transparent.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       If she had been physically standing there, her legs would have been right up against the foot of my bed.  I saw her from the knees up.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       No.  She did not appear to be the age she was when she died.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            She appeared SO healthy!  She had all her hair again, she was almost glowing.  I'd never seen such radiance.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           Not even remotely!

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        Less than a minute, sadly.  I would have loved to have had more time with her.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         I don't know about the beginning.  I awoke and she was simply there.  The end of the experience wasn't gradual.  When she left, she really left!

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

She was SO happy!  She was SO at peace.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes, given the nature of the experience, I understood that she had died.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          Though I couldn't physically be there when she died (and that had torn me up!), she found a way to include me in the moment of her death.  It brought me the most tremendous sense of peace.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

I had been awakened for this experience!

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Love.  I felt nothing but love . . . in abundance!!

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I had felt guilty . . . that's probably not the right word . . . I had felt immense sadness at not being able to drive back into the city to be with her when she passed.  After the experience that was all gone.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was seeing her again, so radiant and healthy.  The worst part was knowing she had to go.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No                   Describe:      But if you were to add ALL the similar experiences up . . . YES!!

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Uncertain            It didn't give me any spiritual understandings I didn't already have.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain Just confirming the time of her death . . . as to events or other people, no.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Relief, happiness that she had chosen to come see me before moving on, a sense of peace.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

It felt like I had stepped outside of time.  It simultaneously seemed brief and yet not at all brief.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

I have always had these gifts, they run in the family, predominantly on my mother's side.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Yes

Just the light that was around her.  It was enough to light up the room for me to see her clearly.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I've shared it with certain family members who also have these gifts and understand, and close friends who also understand.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       It turned out to be one of many!!

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

Yes on all three counts.  I've had out of body experiences since my grandfather taught me how when I was 4 years old . . . quite consciously!  I had a near death experience in May of 2001 during heart surgery to repair a defect I had been born with.  As for other spiritual events, I have seen and spoken with Mom many times now, and other relatives who have passed as well.   

In fact, just before my near death experience I started seeing people who had recently died that I never knew wandering around my office at the hospital where I worked at the time.  I've had frequent contacts at various times in my life.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I think this was quite thorough!