My name is Cathy S. and I would like to tell you about an empathic near death I had when my father took his last breath on September 22 of 1998. Here is my story:
I took my friend out in July of 1999 for her birthday. We went shopping in Barnes and Noble, which was our favorite place. I found a new book by Raymond Moody called “The Last Laugh” on his observations of what people, scientists, skeptics, and Christian fundamentalists did with this information over the years on Near Death Experiences
(NDE) and he said he is very disappointed and brought up a new concept on the NDE and it’s called the “Empathic Near Death Experience”. This means that a NDE that is “shared” by someone who is not dying, but is emotionally connected with the dying person and is with him or her during the transition. (Moody, p4, 5.)
I felt like a ton of bricks hit me! Because when my dad passed I laid down with him for about an hour soothing him and telling him to follow the light and that it’s ok to go.
My dad came to me one night in spirit form and he said that during his transition he was sorry that he had to send me back and that he thanked me for going part of the way with him but it was not my time and that I had a lot to do yet before I return “home”. He will be with me when I ask. This was such a revelation for me, as I didn’t remember most of the time when I was laying down with my dad and holding him. My father came to me just 2 weeks “before” I found this book and so I didn’t realize what he meant by the whole message. But now I do. Thanks to Dr. Raymond Moody and his book.
I have a friend who is a licensed Hypnotist and just graduated at the time with her Masters of Social Work. I went to her and we worked on my memories and it all came back to me, I remember it all, and to this day I cherish these memories of helping my dad to cross over.
I remember being somewhat like it was during my own NDE, how peaceful and beautiful and we were going down a pathway with flowers and trees and such, with beautiful extraordinary vibrant colors radiating as we walked down the pathway after the darkness of the tunnel. I kept saying to him, it’s ok dad, I’ve been here before, we were heading towards the light leaving the tunnel behind us, going further and further towards the end of the tunnel, there were beings of light that we were heading towards, we could see them very faintly. It seemed like I was part of my dad, part of his soul and mind. It seemed as though we were one. Then I heard someone calling my name and at that instant I woke on my dad’s bed lying next to him and there were a few people around us and apparently they could not get me to leave my dad on that bed where he took his last breath an hour before. It seemed like to me it was just seconds.
In the last few years I became a volunteer for Hospice on the vigil team. This team comes in when the patient has gone into a coma from sickness and is going through their last transition of the death process. We are usually called in the middle of the night. Studies indicate that a patient with Hospice who is dying from a sickness usually pass over during the quiet times of late nighttime or very early morning.
I sit with them, hold their hand and tell them it’s ok and to keep going towards the light. I meditate and try to become one with them, and now I remember if I have gone part of the way with them when I do, sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t go with them. It is a very comforting feeling to be able to do this with them. I feel very fortunate to be able to help in this way. To me this is just part of the life transition we all will go through and since my own NDE in 1984, I feel it to be a very positive thing to do for people. As many people say to me, how can you work in such a negative area as dying people but they don’t understand, I have had a NDE myself and I do understand.
I’m not volunteering with the vigil team right now as I am pursuing my Bachelor’s of Social Work so I can do more research on NDEs. I have 2 more semesters to go. Next semester will be my internship with Hospice working with a Social Worker. I am very excited about this.
Moody, A. (1999). The last laugh. Chartottesville, VA: Hampton Roads Publishing Co.