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Cindy M's ADC

Experience description:  

As usual, around 11pm I was getting ready to go upstairs to bed.  I went into our completely dark office to shut down our pc, the only light coming from the monitor.  As I was sitting there, nothing was on my mind as I waited for the pc to save files and do it's thing.  Suddenly, just to the upper right of the monitor (against the dark background) I saw what can only be called an apparition that almost immediately disappeared.  It was a white spiral shaped thing (like a G clef) about 8-10 inches tall and approx. 3-4 inches wide.  It was 2-dimensional, more clear or defined white lines within a more foggy or misty white background.  As soon as I noticed it, I simultaneously felt a definite push or touch on my upper right arm that actually made me move to the left while I also sensed a large, heavy and warm presence "standing" on my right side.  I KNEW this was my son.  I felt no fear nor surprise.  All I felt was his warm love and contentment that he was with me again.  I immediately started talking to him, thanking him for coming to see me and telling him how much I loved and missed him.  This whole experience lasted approx. 10 seconds whereupon I calmly went to relate it to my husband with little excitement but with pure joy and validation. 

Approx. a year later I was sitting on sofa reading when I was touched on the upper right arm again.  These touches are very definite, more like a push.  I again felt a warm presence but no spiral or other apparition.  I was full of love for him and felt very peaceful and comforted. 

Additionally, he comes to me dreams and gives me advice in a more round-about way such as once, when I was feeling pressured, he said that he needed to get away from people who were trying to make him do things he didn't want to do - which was my cue that it was okay to say no to others.   

I have smelled his cologne when I wasn't even thinking about him.   

Maybe most importantly, my son almost daily contact me via a small poker machine.  Two years ago I experiemented with making a direct request - that Jamie give me a specific hand on a handheld poker machine:  Queen (for me), Jack (for him), 2+4+8 (Mommy and Jamie together (2) for (4)ever, the 8 meaning infinity).  Without trying, I get this hand almost every day and I only play the machine approx. 10-20 mins. per day.  My husband witnesses this and even made me put a list on the refrigerator so I could keep track of it.  Over a 6-week period I rec'd the hand at least once per day and sometimes 4 or 5 times per day.  Think about this.  The hand is not a winning hand, the numbers aren't even related, such as a pair or in sequence.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

See #3 above

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Not specifically familiar to him.  But familiar in that it felt like anyone who had deliberately touched you.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Simultaneously there was warmth and a feeling of heaviness, as tho a solid entity was standing next to me - I felt like I could just reach out and put my arms around his waist.  I.e., the presence was taller than I was sitting in my office chair.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  I was alone in my office in the dark.  The only other person in house was my husband who was in another room watching TV.

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           I did not smell anything during experience in the office.  However, at other times I distinctly smell his favorite cologne - one morning it woke me up because my pillow was saturated with the smell that did not go away for several minutes.

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     His favorite cologne, Joop!

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   Love + Contact + Care + Comfort + Joy = Everything's gonna be okay.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        Impossible.  On my pillow in my bed when I was alone.  Other times when I was alone in my home, not cooking nor near flowers or anything else that would give off a substantial odor.  Believe me, I looked  :-)

How long did the experience last?        In bed, 5 minutes; other times 1-2 minutes

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         Sudden onset, slow dissipation - a fading away.  For example, the warm feeling gradually became cooler to meet current room ambience.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Calm - loving - happy.  Very "together," as tho this is very real and believe it.  It's not an hallucination, it's not unusual, this is a certainty.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I believe these experiences are like any other spiritual or religious belief - that you have to have faith.  You can choose to ignore them or you can choose to believe that they are real.  Despite all of the "evidence" of others' experiences, the messages from pre-Bible codex's or engravings, apocryphal myths/legends, what you hear from mediums, and the recent scientific experiments and theories (quantum physics, string theory, waves and particles, other dimensions, etc.), I don't think we, as humans, are meant to know the mysteries of God, Heaven, and the universe(s).  It's a matter of faith and what you do with your life (lives) that counts.  The answer are waiting on the other side.  Be patient and do the best you can.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           See #3 above

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

Yes, but temporary.  I felt peaceful and happy.  And I relive that memory to help through difficult times.  But I still have moments of doubt so continue my research, looking for more validation.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Best = Comfort, love, validation 

Worst = It was too short and I desire more contact.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:            Due to the many contacts from my son and the intense research I've conducted after his death, I am less materially oriented; I am more generous to those unknown people/animals who are suffering (charity); I realize that everyone has problems or baggage that affects their behavior - that everyone suffers; I am more forgiving and compassionate; I practice self-talk to get past problems or negative circumstances; often I am more optimistic about why I am here, why I have suffered, and why my beloved son was taken away so soon.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     Somewhat as described in answers above.  I more often now believe that life is everlasting, that what we do here affects our place in heaven or our degree of spiritual enlightenment, that heaven is a state of mind, that the mind is separate from the body, that we are all sentient connected, and that this connective light energy is what we call God.  (Because of my research I suspicion that (light) energy created the universe and life from chemical reactions; the resultant life energy sparked consciousness from which intelligence was born; throughout the eons intelligent consciousness (subatomic energy) was never separated so that the combined energy created what we call God or a an everlasting force that exponentially grows as life does; we, at our core or spirit, are connected to this force which is overwhelmingly made of loving and painless existence which life desires; and that our combined thought (energy which never dies but just transforms itself into something else with energy) creates our vision and then an actual existence of God and Heaven.)

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            No       Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?   Yes

Before my son died, I told him, my other son, and my husband - that, if we died, we needed to keep calling out to each other until we were together again.  But I am also almost positive none of them remember this.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            See #3 above

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

However, I immediately told my husband about it

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

During the experience it felt like a suspension of time.  This occurred within a separate space, a space blocked out just for the two of us.  Like a window within a window.  Everything outside our window was inconsequential.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

I have always had an uncanny ability to sometimes anticipate what some one is going to say or do.  I have been called a Sensitive.  However, I do not feel anything has been enhanced or changed by the experiences described here.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           Yes

See #3 above

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Some won't even let me begin.  Most others love it.  They like that it comforts me and gives me hope; they are amazed; they say it, along with other "evidence" I share, helps them answer their own questions.  A few ask that I share other research or books.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I want to know if anyone else has experienced anything similar to mine - the spiral G clef apparition, the touch, the warmth, and the density of space as tho something/someone was near them.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

If so, I cannot remember it at this time.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    It might help you to interpret the mindset of a responder by asking such things as kinds of medication (past and present), have they ever been in psychological therapy, favorite reading materials (books, magazines, periodicals, websites, etc.), marital status with or without children and how many times they have moved or changed jobs within the last 10 years (stability), if they had any other type of visitation/contact or research into the paranormal (predisposition), describe any sessions with psychics or mediums, and ask them to describe their previous and current descriptions of God and Heaven.