I would first like to describe my physical experience. I was, as I said, in the hospital with a severe infection and was physically drained to the point of exhaustion and was sleeping almost continually. I had gone in for the second operation in 2 weeks, this time to drain a huge abscess. At the same time my maternal grandmother was on the hospital floor below me. My family didn't tell me how bad my grandmother really was and that's where my experience starts.
While in this deep sleep, I saw myself with an angel beside me. It walked with me almost as if my protection. Not protection from harm but protection from my own fears. It brought me to a beautiful place... the most beautiful place ever imagined. There were many, many people there. I believe I recognized almost all of them. It was overly joyous seeing all of them. My maternal grandfather was at the front of the group as I stood off to the side of him. At this time nobody had said anything but i felt a feeling of peace and happiness come over me. It was as if i had mentally connected with everyone there and I felt happiness and warmth from them all.
Then my grandfather spoke. He first assured me that I was going to be fine. Then he turned and pointed to the people and the place around him and said, "Nana (my grandmother, his wife) is coming to a beautiful place and everyone here loves her and misses her very much. Don't be sad, punkin, she'll be fine too." He looked at me with that grandfatherly smile that he'd done all of my life. I felt a wonderful peace around me and I awoke knowing that my grandmother wouldn't be on this earth much longer.
Right after this experience, when i awoke, my mother was sitting at my side crying. I asked her what was wrong. She told me that the Doctor just informed the family that gramma wasn't going to be going home as previously planned. She said that her body was shutting down. The doctor had told them that the only thing they could do for her was to keep her comfortable until the end.
I repeated this same experience several times while going in and out of this dream like state. When my fever finally broke it was 4pm on Friday, September 20th. At 5pm that same day, my sister came to tell me that she couldn't get a hold of my mom and that gramma was going down hill fast. I was still in a lot of pain but I was able to get a nurse to take me down to my grandmother's room.
I walked up to her bed and told her that i loved her and that the doctor said that i was going home the next day. She told me that she loved me and that she was going home too. I said to her, " I know, Grampa's waiting there for you and he misses you. He has a lot of people there with him that love you too." She looked at me and smiled and said, " I know, I saw them."
I went home the next day. Gramma died the day after I went home.
sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing,
feeling or smelling them ?
Describe: I saw them in my dream like state but not in a wide-awake, alert state. About a week after I came home, I felt my grandfather and grandmother around me. Both of them smiling, holding hands, saying see we're happy again.
did the experience last? On and off for approximately four days.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? I can't really explain that, I just remember feeling like i was in this place and seeing these things and then i was awake. Then i would be there again and then awake.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? They were happy to see me and peaceful and calming for my benefit and excited that gramma was coming soon.
Describe: They were happy to see me and peaceful and calming for my benefit and excited that gramma was coming soon.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Yes, my grandfather told me two things. He said that I was going to be fine and he insinuated that my grandmother was going to be with him very soon. He also said that she was going to be fine.
had forgotten that in my dream like state, before my second operation, A voice
came to me that told me that He took care of me for the first operation and he
was going to do the same thing during the second operation. I believed the
voice to be that of God. Right or Wrong that was my belief.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I was slightly apprehensive and maybe even a little scared at first. When i saw the angel next to me i felt a peace and when i saw all of the family and friends in the group of people, I was happy and full of joyous emotion. When my grandfather spoke to me I felt relieved that i would be okay and relief knowing that Gramma was going to be in a beautiful place. I also felt happy for my gramma because I knew how much she really missed my grampa.
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have: Joy
Other Attitude or Belief
I felt no sorrow in my grandmother's passing, only peace and happiness.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
Describe: Most people grieve by losing someone close to them and I think my grief was healed by my grandfather's words before my grandmother even passed away. I also think that this helped me heal physically because I remember feeling like my grandfather was letting me know that I needed to focus on my healing and not to worry about gramma because he was going to be taking care of her. But, they would both want to be sure I was okay, physically.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes
Describe: It gave me a stronger feeling of peace when someone has to leave this world. I also know that they are with me always even when I don't see them. And last, that God knows my heart and he's there waiting for me to seek his love.
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Uncertain
Describe: I believe that I must have been close to death during my first operation. I saw myself among everyone that I knew that died. They were all around me and not touching me but making me feel like they had so much love for me. My father was the closest to me spatially. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me that he missed me but I couldn't stay with him. He turned me around and told me that I had to go, It wasn't time yet. He told me that I had to stay and take care of my babies.
Did you experience a separation of consciousness from your body? Uncertain
Describe: I'm not sure what this question is asking but I felt like I wasn't in my body and that I was in a different place from it. I felt as if I knew that my body was being operated on and that my father was sending me back to that operation.
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? Yes
Describe: I saw everyone that I've known that have died during my lifetime. The only one that communicated by voice was my father. Others seemed to communicate a feeling of peace and happiness.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes
Describe: When my father spoke to me, he used a pet name that I had forgotten about. He called me babe.
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Yes
Describe: It's kind of hard to describe because I had the feeling of a beautiful place but don't remember what I saw that made it so beautiful.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
Describe: I had the feeling of being in this place with all of these people but also knew that my body was in a different place.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Uncertain
Describe: I have a problem with the term, Life After Death and I'm not sure I believe in this statement or it's insinuation. I do now believe that it's possible to interact or communicate with someone who is no longer alive though.
Has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices etc.? Career choices? I have gained a better sense of spirituality and a stronger sense of belief in the possibility of keeping your loved ones with you forever. You just have to believe that they're there.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
They just acknowledged that i spoke and then changed the subject. They did not
get from it, what i wanted them to get. They didn't feel it the way I wanted
them to feel it, the way I did.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?
A sense of relief and belief.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Seeing all of those people that I hadn't seen in so long was the best part of my experience.
anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?
Not that I can think of
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain
Describe: It has changed in some ways and in other ways, I believe that I've done things well in my life and that I've been forgiven for the things that I haven't done well.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes