I was sleeping in my mother's former home (still owned by my Dad at the time) with my fiance -- in the room my mother had occupied during the last several years of her life.  I awoke and lay on my side, listening to the sound of the river behind the house and enjoying the sun coming into the window.  My fiance remained asleep at my side.  I awoke feeling happy, enjoying being back in the beautiful mountain town and anticipating a few days' break from work.  I was also very much in love, and feeling appreciative of that. 

One moment I was simply enjoying the river sound and the morning sunshine coming in through the open window, and in the next moment, my mother, who had died earlier in the year, was standing next to the open window -- wearing her pink sweatsuit and emanating good will.  (Not something she did often toward me during life.)  She seemed very happy and healthy -- It's somewhat difficult to describe. She was exactly like herself, without all the bad stuff. Her best self, I guess.  I wasn't frightened to see her, and I asked her, "How is it being dead?"  She said (with very typical intonation and speech pattern)  "It's great." (Heavy emphasis on the word "GREAT" -- just like her.)  She went on to tell me what she had been doing, what it was like - but although I recall the "It's great" comment and other parts of the conversation very clearly, I cannot remember any of the specifics she mentioned -- and I couldn't remember them immediately after this experience. 

I saw her looking at my fiance over my shoulder -- again still emanating positive feelings -- and I said "this is X.  He is so great."  I started to say more, but she smiled and said "I Know."  And I felt she did.  Then she just wasn't there anymore. 

I was filled with peace and a sense of joy and optimism that stayed with me for the rest of the day, and for a long time afterward.  It is important to note that I didn't enjoy a happy relationship with my mother at the time of her death, although her opinion was always important to me.  She generally disapproved of my life choices during her life, so the overwhelming acceptance and peace I felt from her in this interaction were very unusual.   

I am generally a skeptic about about "metaphysical" experiences, but this incident meant -- and still means -- a lot to me.  It didn't resolve every issue I'd ever had with my mother, but it did give me a sense of optimism about an afterlife.  And my life has been very joyous since.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? 

Yes

Parts of the conversation with my Mother were very clear.  Other things, I recall with clarity asking, and having her respond, but I CANNOT recall the details of her response, although I know she gave details.  Also, although the experience occurred shortly after I awoke from sleep, it was in no way dreamlike.  None of the hallmarks of dreams were present, and when it was over, I was not asleep.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?           

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:  

The deceased spoke when I asked questions, but otherwise seemed to emanate positive feelings -- that seemed a communication itself, and impacted me a great deal.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? 

I guess I believe I heard her voice, coming from her -- as she was visible to me.  But it's possible I heard the voice only in my head.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?          

Her voice, intonation, and vocabulary were exactly the same -- except for the underlying thread of optimism and peace.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          

No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  

No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           

No

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? 

No

Did you see the deceased?        

Yes

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            She appeared solid.  Just as if she were a living person.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I saw her entire figure, standing next to the window. Right down to her bright white tennis shoes.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       She appeared well and healthy -- unlike her appearance at the time of death -- but about the age at which she died.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            She appeared healthy, well, glowing.   She had died of cancer, and looked grey, swollen and terrible when whe died.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?     

No

How long did the experience last?       

I really don't know.  It didn't seem rushed, but didn't last a long time either.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        

I can't recall.  She just wasn't there anymore, but it didn't feel abrupt or sudden.  The whole thing was easy, peaceful.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

Yes

She seemed happy, enthusiastic, joyful.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

See above.  She described her life after death as "GREAT" and said more, which I cannot recall.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:         

The experience was unexpected, not something I had ever thought about or wished for.  The image of my mother was unexpected in its optimism and enthusiasm -- not something I had in my subconsious associated with her -- but very real in its depiction of her funny, good characteristics.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  

No

What did you feel (while awake) immediately prior to your experience?           

Relaxed          
Happy                                

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          

I was curious, primarily.  I wanted to know what was going on with her, and with life after death, generally.  I felt relaxed and unafraid.  At peace.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

Yes

I felt an easing of my antagonism toward my mother, and a sense of optimism.  I felt happy for her.  She had been very negative and pessimistic in the years before her death.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

No downside at all.  It was a feeling of optimism and joy -- and obviously has stayed with me, since I'm recounting it all these years later.
          
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     See above.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     It gave me a sense that a positive afterlife exists, in which our best selves may possibly emerge.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain I'm not sure.  The weather/room/environment were exactly as they had been during the experience after the experience. (Unlike a dream)  My fiance lay sleeping in the same position as when my mother looked at hime during the experience.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Tremendous joy and optimism.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

I felt that tnere was redemption for all of us, somehow.  The "best self" impression I had of my mother left a strong impression on me.

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

The whole situation was light.  Sunlight was streaming in the window both before and during the experience.  My mother was standing within that light.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I think this experience was a great comfort to people who had loved my mother, especially her sisters.  They found it credible, probably because I am known as something of a down-to-earth person -- not into psychic experiences or other metaphysical interests.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I have come to believe these experiences are not uncommon.  I don't speak of it often, but have heard others share similar experiences.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes