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Do you have any comments about the relationship you had with the deceased?     

My Father was born in 1896, in Pembroke Mass.  He was born with no left hand.  This was an embarrassment to other relatives. Back in those days, defects were blamed on VD and the like.  My Father not only had to live with and be embarrassed by his deformity, he had to endure the prejudice about it as well.  His sister told me in private that some relatives wished that there could be a way to privately do away with him so he would not be an embarrassment to the family. 

He was a terrible alcoholic, Later toward the end of our relationship, after acquiring an understanding of his childhood I understood why.

I loved him from his toenails to the last hair on his head, but he was in so much deeply buried pain that he couldn't.

Truly be a father to me.  I remember as a 10 year old, walking all the way home from a bar because I couldn't get him to leave.  He couldn't help himself, felt guilty all the time, my Mother, Brother and I couldn't help but resent his behavior, and that made it worse.

I never told him how much I loved him.  If I only had the chance to do it over again, I'd tell him, "I don't care if you stay drunk 24 / 7 Pop, I love you no matter what, don't you ever forget that.  It might have helped him.

Former occupation of deceased:         

My dad was a songwriter.  He wrote "Try a Little Tenderness", When The Reed Red Robbin Comes Bob Bob Bobin' Along, Side by Side and a lot of other well known standard tunes.  Because of his deformity his folks wouldn't get him music lessons.  He taught himself to play the piano.  His favorite keys were B, F#, and C#.  These have the black keys sticking up.  He could play a stride bass using just his left wrist.

My dad was a great man, who cared about, was from the people, by the people, for the people, who understood them and wrote to reach them.  That was his gut level greatness.

Cause of death of the deceased:           A taxi let him off across the street from his house.  He was drunk.  He crossed a four lane road, and got hit both ways.

Experience description:  

In my late 30's, I went through Orgon Therapy, which is a branch of psychiatry started by Wilhelm Reich.  My therapist worked with my energy field, breaking up blockages in my energy economy.  He did the best he could for me, and at the end of treatment said, "the real deep infantile sadness within you, I was never able to reach that."  People would tell me, "even when you smile, your eyes are sad". 

I was the only one in my family who became a musician, I raised my kids, to be real people, with an understanding for others in all walks of life. I had personally learned what it meant to be on the street, and had a deep respect for the people trapped there who helped me through it. In 1998 I was a volunteer music teacher at Green Haven Prison, also involved in my community with the poor and drug addicted.  My father's being down with and one with the people thing really rubbed off on me.  

One night when I was asleep, a dream opened up in full Technicolor It seemed totally real.  I was looking up the side of a hill in summer with trees and bushes on it.

My Father stepped out from behind a large bush.  He was wearing the wide brimmed hat he used to wear.  He had no shirt on.  He looked at me.  In his eyes was a greeting, but it was far more than that.  I was immediately filled up with feelings of acceptance, of being appreciated, and loved.  We were totally as one.  He came toward me, and as he did, I heard my self screaming "Daddy! Daddy!. And as I was saying this, I felt those feelings of the long buried sadness come ripping up out of my chest.  It had to be the most intense emotional experience I've ever had. He was there! He walked toward me, and as he did, he began to fade and become transparent. then He disappeared.  I woke up with the remnants of that feeling in my chest, wide awake, and feeling weak, but feeling like a 10 ton weight had been lifted off of my life.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?         

No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?           

Yes

In the Heart

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?  

Familiar in the sense that my father's spirit was really there

            Was anything communicated by the touch? 

A release of long buried sadness and pain.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? 

no

Did you see the deceased?        

Yes

He looked totally real, and alive.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Solid, Real, and then gradually as he walked toward me became transparent, and disappeared

            How much of the deceased did you see?       The total man

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       About like he did in his 50's

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Totally healthy, I don't remember if he had his left hand or not.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?     

No

How long did the experience last?       

The initial meeting felt like it lasted for about 2 minutes.  The after effects have lasted to this very day.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        

Sudden in the beginning, he faded out, and I immediately woke up.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          

Yes  Loving, accepting, and proud of me.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? 

My father came back to release the damage and pain that had been inflicted on both of us.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          

The sheer emotional impact of it.  I know it was him.  It's as real today when I think back on it as it was when it happened.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?  

Yes

I was asleep, but when the experience occurred, it did not feel dreamy in any way.  It was an electrifying experience.  Just as it ended, I shot back to total wakefulness.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          

Yes

The deep sadness I had carried all my life was released and gone

What was the best and worst part of your experience?     

The best was seeing my dad, and the worst, but also the best, was feeling all that pain and sadness come regurgitating out of me.  After it was over, for the first time I realized what it was, where it came from, and why it was there.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?        

Yes                 Describe:           

Yes, in that I'm a happier person , I'm still doing what I always did, but I'm better at it.         

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?          I had walled off the pain and disappointment within me for so long, that I thought I'd forgotten it.  We never forget, we wall it off inside and the energy flow within us sequesters the pain in an emotional cyst.  The free flowing energy then has to work around it like it was a boulder in the middle of a free flowing stream. You deadened it, but you're also less functional. That's the price you pay.  My dad removed that, broke it open, and freed me.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?           

Yes     We come here, spend our lives remembering why, and what we came for.  We're born to people and into their circumstances, who are trying to do the same thing, even if they haven't realized it themselves.  Forgive them if they damage you, and ask forgiveness from those, who in your pain and confusion, you damage. 

 

I love you Pop, I always did, always have, and always will. Thank you for coming back to help me.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Release, Gratitude, and understanding

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

Yes, but it was communicated to me totally by feelings. I understood immediately the meaning of the communication.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         No       There's no way you can truly understand unless you've been there yourself.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?            Yes

Yes to Skeptics who don't believe in the spirit surviving and retaining it's identity after the physical death of the body.  Do you know what? many people are afraid to believe. They're more comfortable and secure with the dogma.

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       This is about the best I can do to describe it.

 Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

 Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes