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Debbie C's ADC

Experience description:  

My husband and I visit our son (Richie’s) grave every Sunday, and we replace the old flowers with fresh flowers. I always asked myself what kind of flowers Richie would have preferred (it’s not something we normally ask our children) so I didn’t really know which to choose. I would always buy the prettiest ones regardless of color or style. However, there was one flower that always caught my attention, this was the sunflower. “It’s a pretty flower, but a bit ordinary for the cemetery,” I always told myself and my husband, and we never chose it.

One day, while dressing up our bed to then visit the cemetery, I glanced at Richie’s photo on my nightstand and I heard his voice in a soft tone say to me, “Yellow flowers.” I quickly ran to my husband and told him what I heard. “Our son wants yellow flowers.” I said. “How do you know?” he asked. “Because I heard him,” I replied. “Then from now on we will only buy yellow flowers for Richie.” And that is exactly what we did.

Still, every time I stopped to purchase those yellow flowers, the sunflowers would just catch my attention. I had once taken one in my hand and placed it back.  One day, a wise woman came up to me and without my asking, told me that my son wanted to give me a message. She said that he liked sunflowers because they were “manly.” I was stunned and looked at my husband while he glared back at me with shock in his face. “Is that something he would say?” she asked. “Yes, that is something he would say!” Then and there I understood why those sunflowers called out to me. All along I was sensing, yet didn’t catch on. My son was trying to tell me what he liked. “He wants four sunflowers,” she continued. “One for the Father, one for the Son, one for the Holy Ghost and one for himself.” I was amazed at all she was saying but happy that she had told me. Now I knew exactly what to get him every week!

As time moved on, I shared this experience with a well-known and highly recommended family therapist. When I finished my story, he said to me, “Repeat the name of the flower.” “Sunflower.” I responded. “Say it slowly,” he said. “Sunflower,” I replied slowly to which he added, “Sun flowers, flowers for my son!” I thought it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.

Now those sunflowers are part of our lives. That is what we take to our son’s grave.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I heard his voice very clearly say, "Yellow flowers."

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  I heard his voice come from where I normally feel him. It was his voice and it was clear.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was his exact voice, no doubt about it.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes   He sounded happy and at peace.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  I sensed what he liked, however, did not go with my gut feeling. The sunflowers would catch my attention, however, I did not purchase them because I thought they were a bit ordinary for the cemetary.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Because it has involved people that knew little or nothing about us and/or my son and at the time of me hearing him, I was preparing to go to the cemetary but, at that moment, I was thinking about dressing the bed.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I was relaxed because I finally knew what he liked. I was happy to know that he could tell me and I was able to know, however, I was grieving and in pain for the loss of my son.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes  I knew he was hearing me, he was here with me.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Just knowing that he can contact me and I can hear him is the best. Knowing that I cannot hug him is the worst.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I now believe there is life after death.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     Just like it says in the Bible, "if you believe in God, you will never die."

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Peacefulness, I felt peaceful.


Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Uncertain

There has been other people involved who have given me messages.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Many have contacted me saying that they believe me and how beautiful my story is.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

In 1989, while having a C-section for the birth of my youngest son, I went into shock and had a near-death experience.  Throughout my entire life I've had out of body experiences, which I did not know what they were until not long ago.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    No