Right after my husband passed that night I heard distinctly 2 footsteps upstairs, thinking it was my son yet when I went in computer room there my son was and no one was upstairs. At first thought I was just hearing things yet the next morning I heard again two foot steps and my son was sleeping right in sight of me.

A few days later I was sleeping and woke up to my husband calling out my name like he use to from the bottom of the staircase. I figured it was just my grief for I had read things on this, yet a few days later I woke up to my husband saying my name in my ear very softly almost like he was trying to tell me he was there. As time went on I started having panic attacks and did not know what was causing them and I had not dreamt of my husband since he passed, but on Friday night while I was sleeping I saw my husband in a dream and he was walking away from me , I could not catch up, then Saturday night I had a dream but it felt so real, I remembered ever word anyways my husband told me that there was nothing more I could have done for him that the cancer was going to take him no matter what then I just laid my head on his lap and he caressed my hair...I woke up and it was so real and I have not had a panic attack since that dream.

Also there were times after he passed that I would go in the bathroom and smell the scent of his body wash that he used, I know it was not the bottle of body wash cause that was in the kitchen. This happened about 5 times.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    my husband calling out at the bottom of the stairs and then next time softly saying my name in my ear while I was in bed that is woke me up.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  it woke me up both times.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           yes for the first time, yet the second time he whispered, which he had never done in my ear...yet the first time I did not believe it and the second time was like he was proving that I did hear what I heard.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no first time son was sleeping and second time no one was in the house with me.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No comment

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           his body wash Irish spring

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     yes

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   no

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        no

How long did the experience last?        only a few seconds each time

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           No

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  when he told me there was nothing that I could have done to save him and that the cancer would have taken him anyways...it was something that I had kept asking myself over and over if I had just taken him to another clinic would he be alive...he seemed to answer what I had been thinking and talking to people about.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           The dream I had felt so real and to me my husband was trying to calm me due to me having panic attacks really bad and because of his communication in my dream it has stopped my panic attacks. I have never been able to remember all my dreams and this one I remembered ever word he said to me.

Plus I know I heard two foot steps and no one was up there...and the scent it happened a number of times.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           when he talked to me in my dream...it made me feel sad knowing there was nothing more that I could have done to save my husband yet it calmed me.

When one of the scents happened I had asked for a sign because I was really upset over losing him and I had not smelled the body wash in a while yet when I walked into the bathroom there was the scent just for a few seconds but I was able to laugh and cry at the same time because I had asked and he delivered.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

after the dream my panic attacks stopped...he was trying to help me

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      hearing his voice and smelling his scent of the body wash and him caressing my hair.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      I do not have panic attacks anymore and as much as I wanted my husband to beat the cancer. I now know that the cancer was going to take him no matter what I tried doing.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Uncertain     

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Uncertain            its amazing after all this I still question the afterlife yet I know what happened to me was real...but then I do question myself sometimes on it. I want to believe that there is an after life

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            very mixed emotions because I was missing him yet happy when I would get a sign

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     They believed with my dream he was trying to help me overcome the panic attacks I was having due to feeling guilt that I did not do enough to help him get cured from the cancer

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes