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Dee S's ADC

Experience description:  

My husband and I had just experienced the death of our 1 1/2 year old son Daniel who had been born with a heart condition and had undergone surgery. During his recovery (while still under medication to keep him in a comatose state) a nurse removed his intravenous heart medication which was keeping him alive to enable his heart to regain strength. As a result he died brain death.

Just a few days after his funeral I remained at home while my husband returned to work. On this particular morning I awoke with my husband to see him off to work and decided to return to lay down in my bedroom to rest. I remember the clock radio playing a particular song (which one I have forgotten) and the time being approximately 8 a.m.

The next thing I recall is hearing the sounds of a baby in the hallway just outside my open bedroom door. Daniel's bedroom was at the end of this hallway. I did not seem to feel alarmed or startled by this but just simply sat up in bed placing my feet onto the floor but remained sitting on the bed bending slightly forward to look down the hallway. There I saw Daniel crawling down the hallway from his bedroom wearing his little yellow fleece sleepers he often wore. When alive Daniel could only crawl as he had not yet learned to walk. As he crawled up to me I bent over and picked him up onto my lap and cradled him in my arms. I was at this point overtaken by emotion and began to weep. Although he had not yet begun to speak more than a few single words while alive he said to me in a full sentence, "don't cry mommy, I will be back in seven".

The next thing I was aware of was once again laying in my bed overwhelmed and feeling a tremendous sense of peace and joy with what had just happened. I knew that I had just held my son in my arms. The one thing that I found somewhat strange was that although this experience seemed to take several minutes I awoke to the same song playing on the radio that had been playing when I laid down.

This experience occurred in October of 1984 and though a slight recollection of it passed through my mind occasionally I did not really think about or try to understand what Daniel meant by what he said. It was the experience of having held him that was most prevalent in my mind when I recalled the event.

Following his death my husband and I went through a rough time in our marriage and I planned on leaving the marriage so any thoughts of having another child with him were completely out of the question. It was 1 1/2 years since Daniel had died and my marriage had all but died as well when against all odds I became pregnant. On February 27th, 1987 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. From the moment I saw him I was in love. He had the biggest blue eyes that appeared to look right through to my soul just as Daniel's big blue eyes had. I could not believe how much like his brother he looked. Even to this day placing a baby picture of each side by side you cannot tell which baby is which. This gave me a great sense of peace. Even though I had some belief as well as some doubt about reincarnation a small part of me thought it could be possible that the son I loved so much had come back to me.

It was not until a few years later when I again recalled and was thinking about the morning shortly after Daniel's death when it hit me with a new awareness. It was not until now that I really focused on the actual words he had spoken rather than on just my emotions of holding him...."I will be back in seven." Did he already know that I would unintentionally become pregnant and that he would return on Feb. 27th, 1987 and came to me to tell me?

Can you provide any insight on this experience?

Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No           

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience?           I felt very conscious and alert.

Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No      

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was overwhelmed initially with sadness and an ache in my heart knowing that Daniel (although I could see him crawling to me) had died which caused me to weep upon seeing him followed by a feeling of overwhelming love and joy as I held my son although I continued to feel the ache and wept knowing he would be gone.

Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises?           No not that I can recall. It all happened so smoothly and peacefully.

LOCATION DESCRIPTION:  Did you recognize any familiar locations or any locations from familiar religious teachings or encounter any locations inhabited by incredible or amazing creatures?    No      

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           Yes     I saw and held my infant son who had just passed away. Although he did not speak other than a few words while alive in full sentences he told me not to cry and said he would be back in seven.

Did you experiment while out of the body or in another, altered state? No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?     Uncertain      My son said he would be back in seven. He passed in 1984 then against all odds and by complete accident I became pregnant and gave birth to another son 3 years later (just 4 days before Daniel's birth date) in the year 1987.

Did you notice how your 5 senses were working, and if so, how were they different?          No            Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No           

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?             No      

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain      Although my son told me of his future return to me it was not something I gave other than an occasional passing thought to and in fact for quite some time actually forgot about that part of my experience always remembering more my emotion of having seen and held my son. Only a few years after my 2nd son was born did I really recall and think about the meaning of what Daniel had told me.

Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body?       No       Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain      Standing by my brothers side in the hospital as he was dying he opened his eyes for the first time in a day (according to his wife and sons) as I told him I loved him. He looked at me and smiled closing his eyes and drew his last breaths.

A few years later in 2011 my father was hospitalized several weeks at the end of which he suffered a stroke and could not communicate. Late one evening as I was leaving his room to go home for the night intending to return as usual the next day I could hear him making sounds as if calling me back. I returned to his room and continued to speak to him and spent a little more time  even though he could not respond. I told him I loved him and would be back in the morning. Within about 1/2 hour I was home and having gotten ready for bed,  shut off all the lights and was walking to my bed to get in I saw a form appear before me moving towards me so that I actually moved quickly to the side saying Who ah but not really giving it much though. This was about 10 p.m.

At about 4:30 a.m. the hospital called to say my father had passed. I truly believe they were wrong and he had actually passed at 10 p.m. when I saw the form.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   No      

How has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices? Career choices?       I do not really believe it has other than making me more curious and possibly more sure that there is more than we think.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     They listen but some are disbelievers and some listen politely but I do not anyone has been influenced.

What emotions did you experience following your experience?  A sense of peace when I think of the one with my son and one of uncertainty with my father's not knowing what it means.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      With my son it was my feeling of joy holding him again. With my father I am not sure as the shape was dark and I do not know what it means.

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?                     Yes