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Diane G's ADC

Experience description:  

It was approximately 6 months after the death of my fianc�. I was sleeping and woke up for no particular reason. I started to drift off to sleep, but was in that stage between awake and asleep - I call it the "twilight zone." I heard static, then it sounded like a radio that wasn't tuned in. It sounded like stations were being changed, then one station was tuned in very clearly, but it wasn't very loud. Suddenly the music was turned all the way up and everything became clear. My daughter was sleeping in the bed next to me, but I knew she couldn't hear it - that only I could. It sounded like an orchestra was in my room. The music was beautiful. It was so loud it sounded like it was bouncing off the walls. I recognized the song. I told myself it was that song by the band Chicago. I knew I'd heard it before, although I didn't know the name. I could sing that song for your right now, that's how clear it was and how it has stayed with me. I listened to the words..."and I love you more than anything in the whole world." Like I said, I could sing that song for you now. 

I could have opened my eyes, but I didn't want to. I knew if I did the song would end. Finally, I decided to open my eyes, hoping I would see my beloved fianc� standing before me if I did. But no such luck. I opened my eyes and the music ended. Since that night, I have searched high and low for that song. It doesn't exist, even though I knew it when I heard it and have remembered the song, the tune and the sound of the voice of the singer who sang it. (I was positive it was Chicago.) But after searching the internet and listening to every Chicago song ever recorded, I've finally accepted the fact that there is no such song. That's because it was my fianc�'s special song just for me - to tell me how much he still loved me.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            Yes

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:   The music was loud and each instrument could be identified. I could identify the singer's voice and can still hear the song in my ears to this day. The music was literally bouncing off the walls of my bedroom, but I knew only I couold hear it.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  It sounded as if I was wearing a pair of headphones and listening to the stereo.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           I did not hear him - only a song that I knew came from him.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No. The song does not exist, and there was no radio or stereo turned on. It was the middle of the night and the whole house was quiet. As soon as I opened my eyes, the music stopped.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

How long did the experience last?        About a minute.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The beginning was very gradual - static in the distance - a radio being tuned in. Then once the song was "found" on the radio, it was turned way up.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  The message - from the words of the song - were that he loved me more than anything in the whole world.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:          Because it involved my sense of hearing. Also, I had just woken up. I was dozing off, but still aware of everything going on around me. I knew my daughter was lying next to me and I knew I could open my eyes whenever I wanted.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No      

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           It was an uplifting experience. I enjoyed the beauty of the music - knew it was from my fianc� - and was overjoyed by the words he was sending me. I knew it was real because of the detail of the music I was hearing. I recognized the singer. It was in no way a dream. I was fully aware of my surroundings throughout the entire song.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I'd had other experiences prior to this, but this one was so incredible - unlike anything I'd ever heard of. It was extremely intense.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best was laying back and just listening. It was a gift. The worst was having it end, and not seeing my fianc� when I opened my eyes.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      It reinforced my beliefs in the afterlife.        

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes            Along with other experiences I've had since his death, it reinforced my belief that there is an afterlife and that our loved ones who pass are always with us.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I was overjoyed, blown away, deeply touched...so hard to find the right words to describe the feeling of having a love song come to me in a dream to tell me how much I am still loved.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

I still think that someday in the future I might turn on the radio and hear a "new" song by Chicago that sounds exactly like the one I heard that night.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     I only shared it with others who have similar beliefs. They thought it was beautiful, but other than that, I have no idea how it may have influenced them.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

I had another dream where I heard my fianc�'s voice telling me that we would "be together forever" and not to worry. It was definitely his voice and I could hear him talking, but I couldn't see him.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes