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Diane R's ADC

Experience description:  

Each experience was different. Although refreshed after the sleep dream experiences, I awoke wanting more and almost pleading for more "visits". The hallway, breath one left me happy, elated, then sad. The frame left me amused. The ringtone left me hopeful he is near me. The song playing made me believe he was with me at that moment.

Each seems so fleeting and missing him is unbearable. I find myself begging sometimes to feel him more and more.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

in the dream state he had his long blonde hair (He shaved his head right before he passed away) and had such a look of peace and total understanding on his face and I was happy. His epilepsy was totally healed and I have not recalled a time he was looking more at peace. There was almost a lightness about him.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            very clearly fully clothed in clothes he would normally wear.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       none...his parents kept me from him and his burial. This was part of my grief--I could not process everything.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       no--he was total again. He had been sick for a rather long time.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Very healthy--extremely fit. His epilepsy was gone.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no. The background areas were totally unfamiliar. One was a room that was boundary-less and we lie on a couch like we always did. Once was on a chair away from each other. We communicate thru our minds...he can't talk to me verbally. His thoughts come straight to me. He understands the loneliness and the separation I feel.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           He started using Old Spice, I think, before he passed away.

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     I could just smell him--not body odor, how he smelled even without cologne.

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   no...First his breath on my neck, then the scent. Almost as soon as I realized it, it was gone.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        No. I am a single parent of two boys who were asleep and did not use cologne.

How long did the experience last?        less than one minute...

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         sudden with his breath, then sudden with the scent. Almost the two were used together so I knew it was him.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

passion, missing. Longing for me to know it was him. All wrapped up into that single instant. Quick and all knowing.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  In one dream state he said he understood how separated I felt from everyone and said to "tell them I'll be nervous when I see them at the wall. I never told anyone and I do not know what it could mean.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Because of the comfort I felt and what he could convey to me. There's no other explanation--I didn't ask for these things to happen before they did.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Uncertain

yes in that he was healed No in that I am certain it was Dan.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           wanting more once I realized it had started again and would be over too quickly. Always relieved to see Dan. Always feel more in love with him...the love grows so I know he is still with me.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

He could convey to me he knew what I was going thru after his death. He allowed me to see him in a totally healed state which brought me peace.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      best is being in that moment and knowing it's real. Worst is the moments are so fleeting. Dan and I were so close and spent a great deal of time together, The past two yrs have been painful and lonely without him. He was my buddy, partner, soul mate. I miss him and love him.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      I love Dan and it doesn't fade and his appearances thru dream, song, or breath make me aware he is still somehow with me.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   No       Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes     He was the 1st person who passed away that contacted me. He was the 1st person I grieved for over 2 yrs and still miss.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Uncertain

we talked about it in a global sense but not between the two of us.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Relief that he has been able to reach me. Sorrow that he is gone and that the experiences are too fleeting. Wish I knew how to keep them coming or be more aware.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes

The picture frame yes, my son. The ringtone, yes, my friend was with me. She was scared, I was comforted.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain

I know I was with Dan on those two occasions in a present state, removed from time. Does that make sense?

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

Dan had a look of total understanding and peace.

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

I've had house things happen before, lights going on and off, etc about 15 yrs prior in a house I used to live in.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Yes

in one  dream state there were many people around but I only saw shapes and not faces so I cannot say if they were living or deceased. We were talking about how everyone abandoned me after his death and the people there were ignoring me. That's when he told me the statement about being nervous when he saw them at the wall. He was certain that if I told someone they would understand that I had seen Dan.

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

the rooms were we in had no boundaries, no walls. It was light and he was sitting on a chair. I could not see where I was. His chair and clothes and body were real, not dreamlike. He is not verbal with me. I can't understand why. But his thoughts come right over to me easily. It's odd and I don't know how to explain it or if it's called something.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Uncertain

I cannot tell where the places are in the dream state.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     Some believe, some don't. My son and friend who were with me for two times saw it and believed.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       Wish I understood it more or could solicit the experiences. I feel a growing need to know he continues to be with me and knows how much I love him.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

I was abducted at the age of 24 and almost murdered in a field.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    no