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Donna A's ADC

Experience description:  

My husband died in an accident while we were living in Europe. I remained there for a week, then returned to the States with my parents and stayed with them. The first few days following the accident, I did not sleep much. In the next few days, I had one dream about him, but it was clearly a dream and very symbolic, such as me traveling down a road, and leaving him behind on the road, hurt. 

On the 10th day, I woke in the night and saw him at the foot of the bed. I could only see his face and head. His body dissolved into a cloudy mist. One of the things that always bothered John about me was I can't stand suspense. I want someone to tell me the end of the movie before I go see it. I read the last chapter of my books first, so I'll know if the rest is worth it. During our marriage, he never understood this tendency of mine.  

The night he visited me, he said, "I can't tell you all the secrets. I can't tell you the beginning or the middle. But I came to tell you the end, because I knew that not knowing would drive you crazy. And so I can tell you that it all comes out fine in the end. I'm OK." I told him thanks for telling me that, and I told him we were finally having the funeral the next day. He said he knew that, and I should get some rest, and then he was gone.

Was this experience difficult to express in words? No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

          Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:      I heard his voice.

          Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?         I think it was external, just his regular voice.

          If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?         The same.

          Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?      Everyone else in the house was asleep, and the windows were closed.

          Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?          No

Did you see the deceased?        Yes

Just his face, head and shoulders, with the rest seeming to dissolve in mist. The head and face were easily discernible, but also surrounded by mist. The mist was sienna-colored, like a dark orange.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Slightly transparent would be a good way to describe it.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Head, face and shoulders.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?            Same age, 32.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He died of head injuries in the accident. He was not injured when he visited me.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?   No

How long did the experience last?       2 minutes at the most.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?          Beginning was very sudden. I believe he woke me. End was more gradual. He didn't say goodbye, just told me to get some rest, and then the mist dissipated.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?          Yes  He was the same as in life, caring but teasing me a little about my intolerance for any kind of suspense.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?         Experience was probably real

          Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:   The circumstances make it seem like a dream. I was sleeping before it happened. But it stands in such contrast to the handful of dreams I had about him before and since, in terms of how it felt and the two-way conversation. I do not believe it was a dream.

          Was the experience dream like in any way?  Uncertain

See above.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:         It made me miss him acutely, but I felt so glad to see him. I sensed that it would be the only time he came to visit. I remember I wanted to touch him but knew I could not.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          Yes

With accidental deaths, what is so hard is this feeling like you never got to say goodbye. I was constantly reliving that moment at the door when I casually told him bye as he left to test drive our friend's new sports car. But this visit felt like a small bit of closure, even though we did not actually say goodbye.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?    The best part was seeing him one more time, and the worst part was this sense that I wanted to touch him but knew that if I did he would be gone.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?       No        

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?         No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?          I cried but felt so grateful for the knowledge that he was OK. After the visit, I went in and woke my parents and climbed into bed with them. I told them about it, and they also found it very comforting.

Have you shared this experience with others?       

Yes    I think my father believes it was a nice dream. But my mother clearly identified it as a gift and a visit from John, even in those initial moments when I was still uncertain about how I felt about it.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?     No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?           Yes