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Dorothy W's ADC

Experience description:  

Mike was in hospice care, at our home, from 02/04-19,2012, following a 14 month battle with cancer.  It had been a very hard 14 months for him as he had lost his ability to speak and was receiving his nourishment through a peg tube because he was also unable to swallow solid food; in addition was the chemo, radiation and therapy treatments which were very debilitating on his body and soul. The last four months of his illness were made worse by the metastasized tumor he developed on his remaining throat lymph node, causing him severe head pain. Communication was very difficult, to say the least, but I was with him every step of the way, from his 12 1/2 hour operation to his final breath. After two times of being transported to the hospital for sudden fainting, I made the decision that it was time for Hospice; my instinct told me his time was near. I knew he would never agree to being in a hospital to die.  He had an aversion to them his entire life. 

The morning after his death, I was just up and walking past the bathroom he always used, when the smoke detector alarm went off. I told my sister & Mike's daughter that I was almost certain he had changed the batteries in the alarms only 4-5 months earlier; despite his great pain, he never quit being active & puttering until Hospice care began. I did however, admit to them that I could be wrong, as I removed the battery to stop that annoying screaming sound. I made a note to myself to go get batteries ASAP. The following morning, two more alarms went off; I said to the girls that I must have been wrong about Mike replacing them recently. On the second day following Mike's death, my sister's husband came from Washington state to be here for services.  We told him about the alarms (I had went out to buy new batteries). He promptly replaced every battery and tested the system. All was well. On the third morning, I was awakened by the loud tick-tock-ing of an ornamental clock which Mike had owned for years. This clock had not worked for several years, but Mike kept it because he liked the design so much. It took me a minute to realize that this clock should not be working.  As I was shaking my head at this odd happening, the alarm system went off again!! It stopped after about 10 seconds. My brother-in-law tested the system again and it was working as it should. This day, Wednesday, was the day Mike was cremated. As it went off, I said, "Damn you Mike, this is not funny, (I'm certain he was laughing very hard) It makes my ears hurt! Mike was a skeptic, but two weeks before he died, and he could understand me, I asked him to let me know, if there were any way, that he was still living, though his body was gone. I believe these alarms, and the clock were his way of letting me know he is definitely still a living being.  He confirmed that to me when, 3 weeks later, on March 13, 2013, he set one of the alarms off again for about 10-15 seconds. I believe he used the alarms because of his career as a city firefighter, something he loved.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  The sound of the alarms was very real and very loud to all who heard them. I knew this was from Mike after the alarms were reset with new batteries on day two, then went off again on day three.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        three times in three consecutive days. Once in the 3rd week following his death.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The alarms were sudden and unexpected.  Most smoke alarms give a chirping sound warning when the batteries are low. The alarms in our home did not before these occurrences.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

On the third day, I sensed he was having fun with me.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           In 1995, after the death of my Mother, I received a simple communication from her on my telephone answering machine.  My daughter, who lived with me at the time, confirmed what I had heard. She had listened to the message earlier in the day, before she left for her afternoon shift at her job. It was recorded that day while I was at my job.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No 

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           The first two times, I was angry that the alarm system chose this sad time to ' go off'. The third time, it made me happy to know that Mike was still with us. Mike's daughter, my sister and brother-in-law all felt the same as me about it. It was a confirming, good feeling.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

The joy I felt was because I knew that at last, Mike was free from his pain and suffering and was still alive and kickin'. It was like a ton of bricks being lifted off my shoulders even with the grief I feel from losing him.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best is affirmation that life never ends, the worst is the reality that the person I know and love is no longer physically here with me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      I no longer have the dreaded feeling of being alone here.  I feel certain that loved ones who have passed are always around us.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes     It simply confirmed, again, what I have always believed.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

I made this compact with Mike two weeks before his death.  Though he couldn't speak verbally, he answered me with a smile and nod.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I felt warm, happy, joy and sadness, all at the same time. It was a reminder of the wonderful and quick sense of humor Mike had in and about life.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Yes

On the first & second day, Mike's Daughter and my sister were here.

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Most have listened with great interest and have expressed belief that these things are possible. Some thought it was spooky, and a few are down-right skeptics, looking at me as if I have a screw loose.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       no

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

Once during a simple medical procedure, I felt as if I were leaving my body but was not upset about it.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes