Let me start by saying I kept my experience private for many years and still have only told 2 or 3 people. Primarily I've wanted to keep it "my" experience and if anyone had told me a similar story I'd roll my eyes and think they were crazy. I'm not sure what circumstances led me your website, truthfully I find many of the stories hard to believe - though there have been several that closely matched mine. Over the last couple of years I've returned to your site and started to share my story, but never completed it. I've been thinking of my parents a lot, lately, and maybe I'm ready to share my story.
In 1998 or 1999 my dad had a minor stroke. It weakened him physically a bit, though he was able to walk and talk, though not drive. My parents were older when they had me (last child of five) so many of their friends were older. When I was a teenager one of their friends had had a stroke that left the husband unable to speak, or live, really without assistance. My dad talked quite a bit about his fear of this happening to him - so I knew after having a stroke he was very fearful of having another one that could leave him in a similar situation. My dad and I weren't particularly close growing up, probably because we didn't share many of the same interests at the time. The older I get the more I realize that I'm exactly like my dad - so I'm surprised we weren't closer.
After my dad's stroke my parents decided they would move to Texas to be closer to one of my brothers. Though I knew I would miss my mom, I didn't have the time or energy to continue working, going to school & supporting my parents. By support I mean shopping, driving, & doing all those things my dad couldn't do anymore. My mom never learned to drive, so I would have to take them everywhere. So, I was very sad they were leaving, and yet a bit relieved because I knew I'd get to have somewhat of a life when I wasn't responsible for their needs. It truly saddened me to see my dad after his stroke. I was single, very lonely, tired, and probably angry that the thing that scared my dad the most had happened to him.
In April of 2000 my parents were ready to leave. They had sold the house and my brother and his wife had driven from Texas to take them home. I was going back to school at the time, so the morning they were leaving I stopped to say goodbye. I was very sad to be seeing them go, I had never been away from my parents. As I stood in the kitchen, ready to leave I looked at my dad standing their with his cane, and it still makes me cry 10 years later, a "voice" told me "He won't live through the summer." It was very matter of fact and was a voice though I can't tell you if it was male or female, but certainly a voice and I remember hearing it in my left ear. I can't tell you what my reaction was - I don't think I had one, but said my goodbyes and cried all the way to school.
My parents made it to Texas and sometime in June my dad went to the hospital. It turns out my dad had lung cancer that had gone into his brain. I believe my dad knew he had cancer (I had driven him to his Doctor's appointments) but wasn't willing to take a chance on treating it, afraid he'd have another, more debilitating stroke. I think my dad died June 27th, 2000. My mom took him off life support after the doctors had found the cancer.
When my brother called, I knew why. I talked to my mom, sad that she was now without her husband of 50, plus years. When I hung up the phone and called work to let them know I wouldn't be in my next thought was I'd better clean up the house. I started to vacuum, which immediately made me intensely sad and full of despair - my dad was the one that always vacuumed the house. In probably my saddest moment I experienced a feeling which has given me comfort and belief in life once we leave our bodies. For maybe 15 to 20 seconds I was "overtaken" by a truly indescribable, incredibly intense feeling of love, peace, happiness - so happy in fact that it made me laugh. A feeling so intense that I remember feeling it in my bones. I don't think I can describe in words the power that feeling had. In the worst moment in my life I experienced the most intense feelings of love, peace and happiness I'll ever feel. And then it was gone. I'll always have that memory - I'm not afraid of death, whatever, whomever it was that shared that love has given me my proof of the afterlife.
Though that's the end of my story, I'll add one more experience. I know I've had some incredible dreams - more than once I've woken up with my heart pounding or literally covered in sweat. Not often, but it has happened, so my next story I'm able to accept as a dream, but I truly believe it was a visit from my dad. Several weeks after my dad's funeral I had a dream that he and I were working in this incredible garden. I don't remember many of my dreams, this one stood out for many reasons, but in this dream the colors were incredibly vivid, the garden and surroundings unlike any dream I've every had. As we worked in this garden I climbed a tree and sat on a branch. In front of me the years started creeping forward. A lot like in the movies when they travel in time. It stopped at 2066. I don't remember what happened after the date stopped, but I was awakened by the sound of footsteps, an incredibly loud sound of a door slamming and a flash of light. I can't tell you the order. When I woke up I remember being very scared, thinking that someone had broken into the house. After I realized it was a dream I laid there a few minutes and thought about the dream I'd just had. I believe it was a message from my dad telling me I'll see him again in 2066. I was born in 1968. I expect to die when I'm 98.
My mom passed away four
or five years ago. One of the saddest things to me is that I didn't have any
similar experiences when she died, and we were much closer. I wonder if I'd had
a similar experience if I'd think it was just a reaction to grief and my stories
above weren't real? I don't know, but I'm truly sad I didn't feel that intense
love after her death. I haven't experienced any other feelings, I don't feel
them around me, I haven't smelled my moms perfume or won the lottery. Almost a
year after my mom passed away I met my wife and finally found happiness.
I do think she may have pushed my wife into my life - my wife asked me to coffee
and six months later we got married.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: In my story above, I heard a voice telling me my dad wouldn't live through the summer.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? Certainly external. I remember hearing it in my left ear. I often wonder who
it was. In fact, it
almost makes me crazy I want to put a face to that voice.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? Can't even say if it was male or female.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? I doubt it.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? no
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No
Did you see the deceased? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? No
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? no
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: I know it was real because except for my garden dream I was fully awake, doing things I would normally do. I don't take drugs, even for a cold. I don't hear voices. Until a few years ago I really didn't believe someone could have an experience like mine - I don't even believe 90% of the experiences I've read
on your website are
true. But, I do believe in the validity of my experience.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I can't say I had any reaction at all to the voice telling me my dad wouldn't live through the summer. I find it odd, now. Who wouldn't? I think it was so matter of fact that I just accepted it.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
I think if I hadn't had this experience I'd be very angry and probably an agnostic.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The worst part was my mom losing her husband, the best part was knowing there's something after death..
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Uncertain
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes I think I believed in God and an afterlife before. Now I know without a doubt
that there's something
once we leave this earth. If it's just Love and Peace I'm fine with that.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes yes. I KNOW there's something after our life on this planet. I don't have any of
the answers for anyone else, but for me I know the peace, love and happiness we
feel when we leave our
bodies. It's somewhat sad, too. I'd like to go to church but I can't really
believe that ANY religous leader can tell me any more than I already know.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes I wish now I had told someone about what the voice said. Someone told me the future!
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Very sad for my mom that my dad was gone. Relieved that he is in a better place.
Comforted in knowing
that their really is something after we leave our bodies.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? No
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
I do now. I wish I could share that sense of love and peace with my wife. I can't even love my wife with the intensity of the love I felt.
Did you become aware of future events? Yes
My dad died in June, less than 3 months after I was told he wouldn't live through the summer.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes
I don't know that it's a special gift - or just luck. We bought a house this summer and have found everything we need for the remodel (and it needed remodeling) on craiglist, on sale at incredible prices, or at estate sales.
Many times I'd think, I
need to find XXX and would find it at an estate sale or craigslist. Odd to call
it a special gift - but it's happened so much it's a bit eerie.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? Yes
Someone told me my dad would die.
Did you see a light? Yes
In my dream there was a flash of light that woke me up.
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Uncertain
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Just my mom and my wife. I'd like to share it with my mother in law, she just lost her husband of 30 years. My mom asked me why I didn't tell her my dad would die. I didn't share with her the feelings of love I had after my dad's death.