I was in the kitchen during a party. I had consumed no alcohol or drugs of any kind as I had driven to the party and was driving home after it. I was involved in a conversation with a girl, and there were others in the kitchen having separate conversations of their own. The girl had asked me if I would be dancing at the party and I said no, because at that time of my life I had very little confidence in myself and was afraid of making a fool of myself by dancing in a room full of people. She told me to lighten up, and I responded by saying something like 'I don't need to lighten up, I just dance like an idiot'.
She became very angry at me, which seemed strange. She then began crying, although not audibly. Tears ran from her eyes but she was still able to speak clearly, and her face did not contort in any way as people's faces often do when they cry. She looked perfectly normal except her eyes were crying. She began to tell me how important it was that I let go of my fears and enjoy myself, live in the moment because so many people who had died would give anything to come back and live freely without inhibitions they had placed upon themselves in life. This seemed really unusual to me. She grew very animated and passionate while making this point, and I did not reply, I thought it best to let her say her piece. Then she told me she loved me so much and she was so proud of the man I had become, which had me just lost completely. Then she said "You know who I am. I am your father! And you are my son! I see you are so low, and I am so sorry. (my relationship with my father had pushed me into a ten-year struggle with clinical depression and severe self-esteem issues, panic attacks and so on) I had to tell you how much I love you, and how sorry I am. But you will beat this, you will succeed."
At this point, I begun crying too, and I felt drawn in by a strange energy. I was unable to break eye contact with the girl to see how other people in the room were reacting to this but I learned afterward that everyone just stood there open-mouthed, watching. Witnesses said they couldn't take their eyes of us and couldn't speak, as though a powerful energy was in the room which rendered everyone frozen and unable to do anything except listen.
I felt so confused but just went along with it and spoke as if it was my father I was talking to. I told 'him' I was worried about my mother, who at the time was still quite broken from grief even 2 years after his death. 'He' said that my mum would be fine, but 'he' had "come to tell me something important." 'He' then said, "In five years, you'll be right at the top. Five years." I had no idea what this meant, whether it meant I'd be a success in life, or famous, or even if 'at the top' meant dead - ie in Heaven. I said I didn't know what 'he' meant and 'he' told me adamantly that I DID. 'He' said "You do! You DO, but you have to believe! You have to believe." I pondered this for a moment and 'he' told me again how proud 'he' was of everything I'd grown to be, and then said "remember - five years" and pointed up to the ceiling, and looked upward, smiling. Then 'he' looked at me with a huge smile of joy. What was weird that the smile was genuinely like my father's smile, but on a different face.
The tears stopped, and there was a change in the girl. She took a sip from a bottle of beer, and left the room.
I asked everyone in the room immediately afterward if they saw and heard as I had, and they said yes. I spoke to my friend about it for about 5 minutes and he was quite shaken by it too. I went to find the girl to ask her if she had any powers of mediumship but she had fallen asleep in the bedroom, apparently very drained and exhausted. The next day I tried to contact her to talk to her about it and her husband told me that she had no recollection of it and when he had asked her about it, she had no idea what he was talking about. He then explained what had happened in the kitchen and apparently she was very freaked out by it. She was quite afraid of what she'd been told had happened, and couldn't explain it. She didn't know me, or my father, or even that my father was dead. To this day she refuses to acknowledge the incident.
Note: The voice was the
girl's throughout the experience, I did not hear my father's voice.
Was this experience difficult to express in words? No
Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: see the box above
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? The words came through another person
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? It was dissimilar from the voice the deceased made
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Yes
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
The girl who seemed to have been taken over as a medium or channel held my hands
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? neither
Was anything communicated by the touch? there was an urgency in the touch as though imploring me to take heed
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? yes
Did you see the deceased? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes
What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell? Like my father's cologne
Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar? Yes, it was like my father's cologne, and I could still smell it in my nostrils and on my hands afterwards
Was anything communicated by the smell? not to my knowledge
Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no
How long did the experience last? i genuinely don't know. it could have been anything between 2 and 15 minutes.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? it was gradual at the beginning, confusing at first then BANG, it was obvious. The ending was sudden too.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
Sorrow and regret, but love and joy all present throughout the experience, with a degree of desperation
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Not so much information, but kind of a prediction. I'm about 9 months away from finding out if it comes true. At the time, the message I received was that, in 5 years, I'll be right at the top. I assume this either means I'll be successful, famous or dead. It's hard to figure it out though; it may just mean I'll live in a high rise building, or work in one. I really don't know.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was probably real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: The girl didn't know anything about me but the things she said did correspond to my relationship with my father. And since the experience, my depression and self-esteem issues went away quickly and I have discovered a talent I didn't know I had which has suggested a very promising career. I returned to education to study and have somehow excelled in a field that was unknown to me, in the face of great adversity during the time of my studies. It's as though my life performed an incredible u-turn after this event and some invisible force has lifted me up and put me on a completely different path.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
It was kind of numb, hazy and unreal. I felt like I couldn't move properly and others in the room said they felt it too.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I felt surprised at first because I didn't understand. I was having a conversation and it seemed as if the person I was talking to just disappeared and was replaced by another being, even though the body remained the same. I then became upset and even frightened as it became apparent who I was talking to. Then I sort of settled into the experience and accepted what was happening.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain
I felt as though I'd had closure to an extent and I let go of resentment I felt toward my father. I then began to feel more positive about myself, although this took some weeks.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? No worst part really. Best part was just talking to my dad again, and the closure aspect.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Describe: Self-esteem improved, stronger relationships, successful student
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes Belief in the soul and afterlife, destiny and a divine creative force.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes Made me think that we do indeed have a soul that lives on after our body dies.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? Yes
I promised my mother, sister and girlfriend that if I die first I will contact them if it's possible.
The deceased in my
experience was not included in my compact.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion! Great confusion, and then I was quite shaken.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? Yes
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
I have no idea how long the experience lasted, and neither does anyone else in the room. I asked a few people and the answers ranged from 2 minutes to half an hour.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? No
I don't know if I can say for sure that I know, but I certainly feel strongly that there is an afterlife.
Did you become aware of future events? Uncertain
I was told that in five years I would be right at the top. This could mean a number of things, but in the 4 and a half years since the experience I have gone from being an unemployed empty broken shell to a very successful student who has a well-paying part-time job, a girlfriend, a baby on the way and some very promising career options on the horizon.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No
I have become an award-winning media student. But no psychic or paranormal gifts.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? No
Did you see a light? No
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes Only close family members. My mother and sister believe me, but they believed in such events before I had my experience. My girlfriend says she believes me but I'm not sure if she does or she just says so to humor me!
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
You asked the right questions. I gave the right answers to the best of my knowledge and described the experience truthfully to the extent of my belief.