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Émilie M's ADC

Experience description:  

This happened in September, 2006.

I was sleeping in my bed, when a ball of a magnificent light of a warm gold, the size of about 30 cm, was opening up above me.  The ball was like an image of a vortex, if I may express myself that way. I have the impression that it was not my eyes seeing it, but my soul that saw it as if it was resting on my sleeping body.  Immediately upon its appearance, I remember that I was scared that my partner might see it.  I focused my attention in his direction to assure that he was sleeping, as if I knew that it came for me.

This golden light radiated such an intense joy that I had the impression that on my face a big smile was forming, covering my face completely. This immense joy, I had never experienced on earth.  Yet, the joy was  familiar to me and was putting a comforting balm on my heart, instantly wiping out my suffering. Inside of the ball were two bright forms with vague outlines.  I could only see the form of a head and chest; I saw neither arms nor legs.  It were as if they were looking at me through a window. The being of light at the right seemed female to me.  She was like a guide accompanying my friend, who was at the left from my viewpoint. It communicated with me by thought, 'There is a dear being that wants to see you a last time.' I sensed a feeling of compassion and sadness for our earthly sufferings, coming from the guide. I immediately reached towards the light, with what I think was my 'energetic hand.' I grabbed a protuberance resembling a hand of golden light, that came out of the light ball.

After that, my experience is a little bit confused in my memory.  But I have the impression that I was traveling through the walls of a hospital.  My friend and his guide showed me the scene of his premature death, with surgeons working trying to save him.   The diaphanous soul of my friend was watching the scene calmly from the left upper corner of the room. It seems to me that the surgeon was disappointed because he was unble to save my friend.  My friend, who had gone at only 35 years due to a ruptured aneurysm, said with dismay, 'He fought pretty well. . .' Then I remember the movement of my 'energetic hand', which in a graceful and agile gesture, set down in its initial position on my sleeping body.  I also had this feeling of profound appeasement inhabiting me. 

In the early morning, I wanted to talk about it with my partner and said in a brief manner, 'I saw a light in the night.' He looked at me strangely saying, 'You must have been dreaming.'  I didn't talk about the experience any more. A few days later, I received a mail from a friend of my athletic's club announcing to me the death of my friend.

All the memories of this experience remained buried in my memory and became clearer with time.  I was avoiding this experience until I heard some talking about NDEs in 2011.  I noticed the many similarities of my experience and NDEs, namely the presence of this light irradiating an immense joy, familiar but not earthly by its intensity, the communication by thought of this very revealing sentence, 'There is a dear being who wants to see you a last time. . .'

Was this experience difficult to express in words?            Yes

The unlikely and extraordinary aspect of the whole experience.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?    No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?    It was the being of light on the right.  She was the guide who communicated through thought, 'There is a dear being that wants to see you a last time.'

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?      No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes

It was the ball of light that formed a hand of golden light, to enable my soul traveling with them.

                Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?        No, it is the first time I lived an experience as extraordinary as that.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?         Yes  my experience.

                Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?          No

Did you see the deceased? Yes

I saw him, or rather his soul.  First I saw him as a being of golden light.  Then I saw him again when he was looking at his body while the surgeons tried to save him. He was in the left upper corner of the room, his diaphanous soul stretched out on the ceiling while watching the scene.

                How clearly did the deceased appear?         A being of light irradiating a golden light, then as the diaphanous translucent soul form.

                How much of the deceased did you see?   In the ball of light the form was golden, but its outlines were vague. I didn't see limbs, only the luminous form of a head and bust.  Then in hospital, I saw the whole body as his soul, while watching its body.

                Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?        Yes, 35 years old

                How healthy did the deceased appear to be?        Premature death, this person was in perfect health.

                Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        No

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?  I don't know but I don't think that this lasted for long.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?        The ball of light appeared suddenly.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?         Yes

The intense extraordinary joy, not earthly, and the appeasement.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  I didn't know that he died, I heard it some days later by a friend who sent me a mail.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?       Experience was definitely real

            Was the experience dream like in any way?         No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:          This marvelous joy that I never felt with such intensity on earth, one of those that are capable to heal all wounds of your heart. Then the appeasement at the end of the experience.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?          Uncertain

I suppressed the experience for many years until I heard about near death experiences.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?   The experience as a whole was very beautiful.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?       Yes                      Describe:        Not immediately, but after the acknowledgment of my experience as real.              

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes      I suppressed the experience during six years, until I came to know about near death experiences, and the similarities with my own experience.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes            The survival of the soul after death of the 'earthly body.' Life from now on makes much more sense.  What is important, is love that we give to ourselves and that we give around us, in the smallest things of life. Thanks to this experience, I filled up my intrinsic emptiness with love and faith and this helps me for living.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?    No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?            No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?       Profound appeasement.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?         No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?           Yes

Time probably was passing slower at hospital as in my sleeping room.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?      No

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?            No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

When the hand of my soul grabbed the golden hand of the light ball and when I traveled by crossing through the walls of the hospital.span>

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   Yes

The guide of golden light accompanying my friend.

Did you see a light?  Yes

Golden, under the form of a light ball irradiating an intense joy.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Yes

In my room then in a hospital.

Have you shared this experience with others?   

Yes      With my partner the next morning, I told him that I saw a light in the night.  I asked him if he also saw it, but he looked at me skeptically and told me that I was dreaming. I talked many times about my experience to others around me, but the reactions of people depend upon their beliefs, their personalities, experiences, and etc. This can be very soul-stirring and rich-talking about it with people that are open for this kind of phenomena.  It also can make me look like a lunatic, by the most Cartesian of thinkers, but I don't care.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?     span> Yes

I I shared it on a French forum of near death experiences.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            span> No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?    No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes