My Grandmother who I loved dearly, died my freshmen year of high school 2003-2004 was the school year she died in 2003 before thanksgiving. In 8th grade I started getting into drugs and after her death I started smoking marijuana quite heavily. It was a confusing time. I was looking for relief from my problems and just a typical rebellious teen! By my sophomore year of high school I was hanging out with a group of kids who I always got high with and we were high before, during, and after school most of the time. I was pissed off at everyone and not heading down a good path in life. I am Roman Catholic and was being confirmed. Usually in church, I sit with my family but when you are getting confirmed you sit with your confirmation class. What I am about to say is very important to the experience so please pay close attention. I was sitting in a group of people so there were people in all around me. If you are Roman Catholic and live in New England you know that people look straight forward and talking is very inappropriate.

Everyone was looking straight ahead when this happened. I was thinking to myself "There is no such thing as God" and all this other negative stuff when I heard my name whispered 3 times in my ear. I felt a weird air pressure change in my ear and it was neither hot nor cold but somewhat tickled. This freaked me out and I thought someone was screwing with me so I look at everyone around me in all directions but everyone was looking forward and no one had a smile on their face. I can't even say that everyone I was sitting next to knew my name. I wrote this off as an effect of all the drugs I was doing and did not really think about it until months later. It was indeed my grandmothers voice. I have a great memory for music and can listen to a song and then play it on the piano with in a matter of minutes, so if I can remember that, I can remember her voice. It was in my right ear which was facing the aisle. During my 2nd year in high school I would frequently run away from home and smoke a lot of weed. I was arrested a number of times and all around a wild kid growing up.

It was not until towards the end of my sophomore year that I started to change and eventually stopped hanging out with my old group of friends for a number of reasons. By my junior year, being on my own instead of in a group of friends I was forced to take a good look at myself. I did not become religious until I was a senior in high school. Mainly because of this experience I became religious. I have seen my Grandma in my dreams and on one occasion had a deep conversation with her while holding her hand walking around a pond. There was birds in the center of the pond and then the flock flew away. I looked at my grandmothers face but I don't think she really wanted me looking at her, I saw her profile. She looked neither young nor old but in better shape than when she was alive. I do not remember what we talked about, mainly because I think she made it that way for my own good for whatever reason. Usually I can remember every little detail of a dream. But this one is missing the chunk on what we talked about. It was about life I know that. I was looking forward as we talked. We were walking around the pond. There was fluttering of wings all around. This dream happened in the summer of 2008 when I was in a great deal of pain from a bad reaction from medication and going through withdrawal. I remember all of my dreams since I was a little kid and on some occasions they have predicted the future or gave me a deep insight into life. My life has been quite hard and I have ADHD and Depression and other learning disabilities, people can not tell this by talking to me. I seem quite normal and cover it quite well.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

I can explain this easily because it was a straight forward experience.

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          No

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    My grandmother whispered my name in my ear 3 times.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  outside of me and there was a change of air pressure in my ear that was not hot or cold but tingly.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was exactly the voice of my grandmother and she sounds no different in death than she did in life.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           If you are Roman Catholic you know that people do not talk in church and it is wrong to do so especially here in New England. Everyone was looking forward. I checked to see if it was a prank and no one did this to me. It was very real and the people around me didn't really know me much at all. So it was not like some buddy pulling a joke.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   You could make that argument considering the drugs. But I don't believe that this was the case. I was not high at the time.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

I felt the air pressure change in my ear and I held hands with her in a dream once.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   In real life it was an air change. In the dream I did feel her hand. It felt like a hand like it would feel like when I was awake.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  You could argue holding someone's hand is a form of affection.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  In the dream she was the only one with me and in church there was no other logical source.

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

In my dreams a few times. Her face looks clay like and radiates light. She looks like she did in life but in better condition. Her face looked neither young nor old.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            In my dream solid. She had a glow and her face looked healthy and much like us humans do.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       Just her face in the dream. In life I only heard her voice.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       She looked young and old at the same time. Her face seemed clay like and glowed.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Very healthy. I only knew her when she was old.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           It was in my dream so one could argue it was just my imagination.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           Not that I can remember.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

In my dream we were just talking about life. I don't remember her being mad at all and when the thing in church happened it seemed more playful in nature kind of like saying. God is real.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  In one dream I had she was singing and playing the organ and I asked? When the hell did you learn how to play piano? She just said "things are different in heaven!" and then I woke up laughing.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?          

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Because, things like that just don't happen by coincidence and it is just to real. I could see the argument against the dream thing but not the other thing! I know what I heard and I know damn well that was my grandmother.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Yes

The dream was dreamlike, the thing that happened in the day was just a regular day in the life of a human being.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I was looking all around me franticly and it freaked me out so much I did not confront it until months later! I was so scared! I had no clue what happened!

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

It makes me feel good that she is doing well and is watching over me. I became a believer in the following years. However things got worse before they got better. Not because of this experience though because of other things.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      I know for a fact there is life after death. The worst part was it scared the shit out of me.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      It made me become religious and many other things which I basically covered.          

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I went from atheist to truly Roman Catholic. I also decided later on to change my life and quit drugs and start doing music again.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     my Grandmother was sending me a clear message that God does indeed exist. I have become very religious and was quite the wild child growing up. I have had a crazy life.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

I am going to make one with people though!

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No one can verify this except myself. If you do not want to believe me I do not care. If you want to judge me for using drugs back then, I still do not care. If one thing has not changed about me from back then is I still don't give a crap what you think about me or if you believe me or not!

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Afterwards I came to realize it was indeed my grandmothers voice and thought it was quite cool. I told my family a few years after it happened one at a time. Not in a group.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

I was around other people but only I heard the voice.

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

I was in my present body. The other thing I was sleeping.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Yes

In one of my other dreams I saw my other grandmother who died in 2008 and other relatives who died and some I never met because they all died before I was born. They were sitting around a table eating. This may have just been a random dream though. This was separate than the pond dream which was just my grandmother.

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     They believe me. I told my closest family members and a few other people. My brother was kind of atheist and I might have gotten him to change a little. At least I hope.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       Please believe in God because God if very real or else this would not of happened.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            Yes

I am going to regret this because people will write this off as effects of drugs. I had done hallucinogenic mushrooms the day before but they really did not work that well and a lot of drugs were built up in my system but at the time I was completely sober. I knew what happened to me was not an effect of any drugs because I know what those are like! So please don't judge me!

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

The right answer would be I have had many experiences on drug and they were quite out there. Not like this though!

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           N0 comment 

Right before Christmas 2008 I almost took the wrong medication at night which could of seriously injured me and I heard a voice in my head say "Look at what you are taking" I had my hand in mouth at this point.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Why the hell are you asking if people are liberal or what not? You should just ask straight up what religion they are.