Was this experience difficult to express in words? The euphoria I felt after particular encounters is beyond words to describe. The feelings and emotions wrapped up in them is so beautiful and so very comforting.....
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: His voice, his "thoughts" and his emotions......as if they were spoken words.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? It was audible as if from a phone conversation but I could sense that it was a "mind communication" privately sent to me from my husband. I have had other such communications from other relatives as well.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? His voice, which was most magnificent and a very particular trait of his, was clear, joyous and loving.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? NO!
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? NO!
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? Yes
This description, extremely and particularly moving I'd rather tell in detail when contacted by this interview.
Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar? Yes, familiar to my soul!
Was anything communicated by the touch? Immense, deep Love and joyful emotions!
Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? NO!
Did you see the deceased? Yes, With my soul's eyes.........
How clearly did the deceased appear? The first time.....in a dream state, I saw him transparent........then he immediately became as himself, and I felt his touch.
How much of the deceased did you see? The first time.......all of him. After, his face.....and then I have seen him with the emotions he has conveyed to me.
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? At first as I first knew him......and as I always saw him, young and strong and magnificent to me!
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? He looked the first time as if still startled.......transparent. After he has become unbelievable healthy like........hard to describe. You had to know him to understand. To me he looked as wonderful as he did on our wedding day!
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? NO!
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? Perhaps seconds but the feeling was undeterminable by time........it has become everlasting.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? The most dramatic have been sudden..........literally have taken my breath away!
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
He was euphoric and I felt wished to share the feelings with me.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Yes, but some of the information he tried to convey seemed to be related to his profession. With my father, he conveyed emotions and feelings I didn't know he felt.......and he pointed to documents that would have been very important to my stepmother after his death.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: Even if it was just "emotional"..........such was my connection with my husband, I "recognized" him by his emotions at the time of the encounters.
Was the experience dream like in any way? No
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: First surprised, then so very pleased and then suddenly and emotionally taken to a higher feeling of love never before experienced. It was as if you could sense the same feelings you would have for someone you loved.......a reflection of what you both felt intensified and at the same time!
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Feeling my husband's love. The worst is realizing that I am not with him and wanting very much to be there with him where he is.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
Describe: I've become more reserved, more joyous when I speak of him, more pensive, more impatient to join him, and yet, more resigned to what I must do in order to finish what we started in this life..........the continuous support I must give our children as they enter into their own life's journeys.
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have?
I hope they happen again.........I want to be with my husband more than ever and wait impatiently for the time when we can be reunited.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
Comforted but due to other "family induced" circumstances.........I've felt the need to be comforted again and again in order to cope with what has happened in my life since my husband died.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes, I've become less "religious" but by far, more "spiritual".
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? Not really.......just felt that it would happen somehow.
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? Yes
My son and I had a particular "dream" the same night but as if we were looking at the "scene" from different perspectives. Very dramatic.....particularly in the similar details.......he told me of his dream and I was in awe of how similar it was to mine.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? As if I could "die" right then and there and not care at all about anything else except to be forever in that euphoria.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
There seems to be NO TIME to speak of.......it simply IS!
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
At the time of the experience the feeling is of knowing and understanding it all, and yet unless you are "there" the feeling is fleeting right after it stops......and you wish it to go on forever!!!
Did you become aware of future events? No
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes
Several......some small and maybe silly to some, others dramatic. Will describe in detail if asked further later.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
At one time I felt as if I was elevated and "separated" from my earth bound body. As my daughter would phrase it.........."quite a trip"!
meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?
In the particular dreams that followed my husband's death......I have seen several relatives, particularly my father who so greatly loved my husband. Each in their own way, trying to convey a message of comfort to me in what has been obviously a most grieving time in my life.
Did you see a light? Yes
I have seen and "heard" different "lights".....these I would have to describe in detail. NO one has asked me that before........thank you!
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? Yes
Mostly though these have happened when I am alone in my thoughts or my deeply grieving times by myself.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
My children......some of it they have understood for they too have had very dramatic "dreams" about their beloved father. My husband was admired and loved by many in our family.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? Tried once..........but no response. Thus why I am so hesitant to give too many details at this time unless further sought for my story.
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? I hope not only that I can add to your research but that you too can give evidence to me that what I felt was not only extraordinary but can be attested to.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? I remember vaguely being very ill when I was very little and I do recall an encounter of religious nature at that time. It has lingered with me since.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? As I mentioned before. I would like the opportunity to speak to someone at length about my experiences because I have had many in my life, but none as dramatic and moving as those I have felt since my husband died.
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. Since my experiences are somewhat more dramatic than others I have read about, I don't know how you could change the questionnaire to accommodate only someone like me or the very few that might have something similar to offer but are afraid of being considered somewhat demented when they tell the details.