A few months after my fathers passing. I went to bed at my usual time around 10pm and was looking forward to a good nights sleep. I was feeling fine or as well as can be expected after losing one's father. I worked in a large and very busy medical clinic and a good nights sleep was very important to me! What happened after I closed my eyes and went to sleep will be forever be imprinted in my mind!!!
The next thing that I remember was being in a void and wondering were the heck I was! It was not dark or black but rather a silvery gray and I distinctly remember not feeling anxious or afraid but rather a sense of peacefulness. I was not aware of my body at the time but just my consciousness. The next thing I became aware of was the feeling of being in a long hallway and being drawn to a light at the end of this hall. At that time I became more aware of my body but it was not like my earthly body but rather a softer, lighter body. I was not at all concerned because I was so focused on the light at the end of the hallway!
As I moved closer to the light I became aware of a dark figure within the light. I strained to look as I froze in place, still unafraid! Next, the figure began to move toward me and to my utter amazement and indescribable joy, I saw my father!!! Oh how I wish I could describe how I felt at that moment!!! There are no words!!! All I could do upon seeing him was cry out DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!
He was wearing a dark suit with a white shirt. Not at all the 68 year old man riddled with cancer. Rather a young man of 19 or 20. His thick black wavy hair soft and shiny, his body was healthy, his eyes were becoming and the sweetest loving smile on his face! He was illuminated with light and I sensed he was flanked by to beings of light on each side of him. I was so focused on him that i cant remember how these beings looked, only that he was not alone. He was vibrantly alive, more so than his happiest healthy days on earth. He also appeared to be very enlightened as if he had all the answers to all the questions we ponder here on earth!!
As he moved closer to me he stretched out his arms and without a word he enveloped me in his arms and pulled me close and at that moment it was if our souls merged!! Once again there are no words!!! Now once again I was pure consciousness. Enveloped and consumed in brilliant, loving endless light. I was part of the light, I felt I was one with the ONE!!! The next thing I experienced was voice telling me that we are all connected. Not just humanity but all of creation!!! That I was a spiritual being ,that this was my true nature and that this was home. This is where I came from and were I will return!!!
It was like a remembering of who I really was. Not this physical person, but a loving spiritual soul, one with my creator and and all creation and so utterly, completely and unconditionally loved!!! Once again there are no words!!!
Now I am back with my father and he tells me he has to leave, or I have to leave. I can't quite remember that detail. I just remember feeling that we where parting and for a moment I felt anxious and sad. But then I remember saying to him, (oh by the way all our communication was telepathic) Dad, don't go just yet, I have so many questions to ask! He said ok honey just one. So this is what I asked him.
It was something like, Dad what happens to us or what do we do after we die? I remember him smiling and in a amused way he responded. And I quote "HONEY I WISH I COULD TELL YOU, BUT I CAN'T, AND EVEN IF I COULD, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND IT ON YOUR EARTHLY PLANE. BUT, WHEN YOUR DAY COMES YOU WILL UNDERSTAND AS EVERYONE WILL."
With that I awoke. It was morning and the sun was shining. The moment my eyes opened my feet hit the floor. I never moved so fast, felt so alive, o light, so happy on this planet earth. Sort of Like Ebenezer Scrooge's description of how he felt after he had his ghostly encounters. Anyway I was beside myself with happiness! Then the strangest thing happened. As I became more grounded, after all I felt like I was on cloud nine or maybe cloud 12. I became aware of my physicality. This part is so hard to explain, but I will try my best. I noticed a feeling of energy pulsating through my body. I touched my arm and my leg and I could literally feel a vibration. It felt as if every cell in my body was vibrating.
I remember calling my mom and telling her about my experience and saying that I felt like I could heal a sick person because of the energy I felt. I felt like it came from the light I was in during my experience, and that my cells were holding the residue of that energy, that love! This whole experience was so unbelievable but yet their is no doubt in my mind that it was real!!!
I think about the movie Contact and what Ellie said to her peers and colleagues when they questioned her about the validity of her experience. If I can paraphrase:
She said, as a scientist she has to concede that her experience may not be real but as a person she cannot, when every fiber of her being tells her it was real!!! I remember my experience as if it happened last night. This was no dream! When I do dream I never remember them! Its been almost 14 years since Dad passed and not a day goes by that I don't think about how my father came to me and put his arms around me and gave me such a wonderful gift. A gift that will be with me tell my dying day and I can once again be in the arms of my father!!!
Love and Light! Ms. Gerry Motto
Any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? Yes
I can explain the basic experience in words. However their are no words that even begin to adequately express the feelings and the emotions that I was experiencing at the time of my NDE or whatever the heck it was!
time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening
My Father had recently passed over from cancer. During the time of my fathers illness and subsequent death, I was also involved in a Labor dispute with my F/A union and my airline. I was out on strike for over three years before being recalled back to flying. In the interim, I went back to nursing. I have been a F/A for 26years.
What was your level of consciousness and alertness during the experience? I went to sleep
Was the experience dream like in any way? No. when I woke up I new this was no dream!!!
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? Yes
Did you hear any unusual sounds or noises? Just telepathic conversations
Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure? Yes
Describe: Like a long hallway or corridor.
Did you see a light? Yes, Started out small at the end of the hall. Got much larger and then I became part of it after my father put his arms around me.
Did you meet or see any other beings? Yes, My Father.
Did you experience a review of past events in your life? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions? Uncertain
Just the experience of being surrounded and becoming part of the light.
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Uncertain
Just being in this void and hallway. There was no sense of time.
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
When I was in the light there were no boundaries.
Were you involved in or aware of a decision regarding your return to the body? Yes
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? Yes, Immediately after my experience I felt like I could heal. However now I don't, but sometimes I wonder.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
Being raised a strict catholic. I now feel that being part of a organized religion is not necessary to have a relationship with God. I have a day to day spiritual relationship with God I seldom go to church, but if i felt like it, I would.
the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices?
Career choices? I
think about it everyday. I'm much more in touch with my spirit, my soul I'm much
more aware of how I interact with People. I'm much more aware of my
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes, Usually very positive!!
What emotions did you experience following your experience? emotions that I will never exp again until I crossover!!
What was the best and worst part of your experience? Seeing my father, being in the light, experiencing God!!! The worst part was leaving the whole experience and longing for the day when God calls me back. I Have no fear of death!
Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience? I wish everyone could have such a experience. In this world we live in, this experience brings such hope I read a wonderful book a few years ago, called a Course In Miracles. If you can get your hands on a copy read page 446 and 447 6-10 in the main text. It's my favorite part because I could totally relate to the message after having my experience. and it also helped to validate my experience. I love it!!!!!
the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or
substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
I lost my beloved mother about two years. She to came to me also, but in not such a spiritual or dramatic way. It was more like a dream state In which she to hugged me. It too was wonderful!! I remember waking up during the night and literally hugging myself very tight! I knew she had visited me . It was something we talked about many times while she was living. I would say Mama when you crossover please come visit me and she did!!
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire. None that I can think of at this time. Thank you for this opportunity to share!