I was standing facing a doorway, the door was closed but then it opened and out stepped my son. Behind him was darkness and around us were fields, no houses or people. My son glowed with a soft pale white light. I remember thinking, 'he's dead, this cannot be true!' Matthew walked towards me and we both held out our arms. As I walked towards him, he was smiling and really happy. All trace of his cancer and illness was gone, he looked so healthy. 

We held each other for a while, I can remember he smelled like my son and his voice was the same. He told me how much he loved me and that he was 'fine' and also, he couldn't stop long but had wanted to let me know that he was ok now. 

After a short while, he turned to go back towards the door. I can remember clearly crying and telling him that I didn't want him to go and he said something like, 'but I have to mum, you know that.'  He turned to look at me and gave me a huge smile, then he slowly faded away. 

I woke up feeling both elated, but incredibly sad and wanting the dream to go on and on. Since then, I have hardly dreamt of him, and nothing as profound as that particular dream. In fact, it was more than a dream, as most dreams tend to be confusing and contain a lot of things that are difficult to understand. This particular 'dream for want of a better word, was amazing and real right down to being able to smell my son and interact with him in a positive and coherent way.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I heard my son's voice, it was clear and gentle and he told me that he was fine and that he loved me but he could not stop for long.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  It was as if he was alive here on earth and speaking to me, it was external.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           The voice was the same as when my son was alive.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

My son and I hugged each other

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  When we hugged, it was comforting and reassuring

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  no

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

when he died, my son was quite emaciated from his cancer, he was unable to walk or talk coherently (cancer went to his spine and brain). In my 'dream' Matthew was 'whole' happy, healthy and glowing. He looked as he did when he was younger and well.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            My son appeared solid, no transparency, he looked as if he were alive.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I believe that I saw most of him as he walked towards me.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       My son appeared as a young man, older teenager (he died aged 18 years old)

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            Matthew looked very healthy and happy. All signs of his cancer had disappeared, his body glowed with a very special light.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Yes

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           It just smelled like my son - is own personal odor that I remembered from when he was alive.

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     Yes it was familiar his own personal smell.

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   The smell told me it was Matt, definitely him and nobody else.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        No

How long did the experience last?        In my dream it might have been a few minutes not shorter than 5 minutes and no longer than 10 minutes.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The beginning was as if I was anticipating something special and suddenly he was there.  The ending seemed slower as he sort of faded away.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

My son was filled with happiness and joy.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I believe that my experience was totally real and unlike any dream I have had. It was amazing, coming face to face with my son who had died a few months previously. Being able to speak with him and tell him that I loved and missed him. My son was real, when I held him, he was solid and the whole dream experience was coherent, and was not in any way confused like many dreams are.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I felt so happy, elated, joyful that I was able to speak with my son and hold him.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

After the experience I felt quite happy inside, knowing my son was fine but then incredibly sad that he had gone and I probably wouldn't get to have that type of experience again. I don't think there was emotional healing or closure, but I felt happy that my son had come back to reassure me that he was ok.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Seeing my son so healthy and happy - watching him walk away and knowing that he could not stay.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes                 Describe:      My beliefs on the after life have changed.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     I have always believed that after death there is a time of unconsciousness until the Resurrection of the dead. But I truly believe now, that this is not so.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I have always had a deep belief in God and that there is more to this life. I felt thankful that God had allowed my son to return and give me evidence of his continuation.  So it was more a feeling of being thankful.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            When I awoke, I still felt happy, joyous but also sad that the experience had ended.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

I felt that our meeting was in a space where there was no real time or space, that it was special to us alone.

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     With people who are understanding and have a similar view of life after death as me.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       This experience was real and profound. My son appeared very much alive and well. He spoke with me, telling me he loved me but that he could not stay. I experienced intense emotions during the experience such as, joy and amazement. Oh and my son was warm, not cold as I would have expected a dead person to be.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

I had an OBE giving birth to my son. At one point I was in bad pain and suddenly found myself out of my body and looking down on myself on the birthing table. This lasted for a few moments and then I found myself back in my body.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Sorry, I cannot provide any further suggestions.