ADC From Father
Daddy had died on October 1st, 1991 after a long illness. I was not going to church at the time. Having been raised in a Southern Baptist home I thought that daddy was in hell because he wasn't a saint. I couldn't bear the thought of that for one minute. When I would wonder where he was, I would try to get my mind off of it. Finally one day, I couldn't stand it any longer. I prayed to God to please tell me where daddy was now. I only waited a few seconds for an answer, then I said "please God just forget it - it's probably better that I don't know." I was actually somewhat relieved that God didn't answer my prayer. Several weeks went by and I'd forgotten my prayer.
I was driving to work one night. It was around 6:30pm and I remember I was on Highway 70 when it happened. First, I "felt" or sensed daddy's presence in the passenger seat right beside me. I could smell his cigarettes. (He had been a life-long smoker.) Then I heard him say "Honey, I've been trying to reach you for THREE DAYS!!!" He seemed really pissed off at first. I guess he was just exasperated because he had been trying to tell me something. His personality was still intact. The same old sense of humor and frankness.
His presence, which was undeniable, seemed odd to me in that while I felt that he was right next to me in the car, he seemed like he was a long way off. It was sad to me that he seemed so far away. It was like I could hear him talking to me on the telephone but with a really bad connection - like he was at the North pole. He then told me three things: "I'm happy; I'm not hurting anymore, and I'll always be with you, even though you can't understand that right now." Then it was over. His presence was gone, the smell of cigarettes was gone, and the communication from him was gone. Just like that. I was dumbstruck.
Now this was in 1991. I had not as yet read Betty Eadie's book (it wasn't even written at that time) so I had no idea that this kind of thing could actually happen to anyone. I thought I was the only one on the planet that had EVER had an experience like this. I had thought of communication with the dead as an evil thing because the bible talks against it. I also thought that people who claimed they could communicate with the dead were nut cases of the highest order. I never sought communication with daddy to start with. Didn't even consider it a possibility. I only wanted God to tell me where he was. This experience, to me, was like God was "breaking His own rules" just for me because of His great love for me and wanting me to be at peace with daddy's death. I was immediately at peace. I had a renewed sense of the great mercy of God because if daddy was not hurting and was happy, then he was in heaven. And if HE was in heaven, then maybe I could go there too.
I have to
mention that several weeks later I began to doubt this experience. I then lost
all sense of peace that I had received immediately after this experience and I
started to beg God again to give me another answer. I was told matter-of-factly
that "there will be no other answer - the answer has already been given." I
then knew (as if being coached or instructed by angels) what I had to do. I had
to go back to the experience itself and simply believe it again - and to not
allow doubts to creep back in. To not allow myself to think negatively at all -
no matter how tempting. And that is what I did with the help of God. It took
several weeks, but I won. I didn't allow doubts to creep back in and I was once
again with peace and believed that God Himself had allowed my daddy to come to
me after his death in answer to my prayer. The mercy of God toward us is truly
Did you sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them ? No
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe: What I heard was his voice in a telepathic type communication saying exactly as detailed above.
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated? Again it was a telepathic communication that seemed to originate within me, but I'm not sure how to describe it. I can't say if it was in my head or my heart that heard it.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? The same, only far away.
How clearly did you hear the deceased? It was faint but clear. I had said it was like a bad telephone connection but that doesn't accurately describe it. There were no crackly noises.
Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience? Absolutely not!
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? No.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No
Did you see the deceased? No
Did you smell a distinct smell, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe: Winston cigarettes. That's the brand he smoked after they quit making Raleigh's.
Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar? Yes, that's what kind of cigarettes he smoked the last time he smoked.
Was anything communicated by the smell? Was anything communicated by the smell?? Yes - first, I KNEW that it was my daddy. He always had a cigarettey smell to him because he smoked all the time. Second, I thought maybe God let him smoke in heaven and he was still reeking of it when he came to me or maybe he had one lit as he was talking to me. (Of course I'm being funny now.)
Is there any possibility the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience? Absolutely not. I did not smoke at that time and had not in a number of years and had never smoked in that particular car.
How long did the experience last? Probably about one minute once I heard him talking to me.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? The beginning was gradual. The ending was abrupt.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? As described above, he seemed pissed off at first because I hadn't been able to hear him, as he said, "for the past 3 days".
Describe: As described above, he seemed pissed off at first because I hadn't been able to hear him, as he said, "for the past 3 days".
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? Well, since I had thought he was in hell, it was very helpful to know that he was happy and not hurting anymore.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: Dumbstruck. In awe. Numb. Sort of "I can't believe this is happening."
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have: Joy
Other Attitude or Belief
It definitely changed my view of the mercy and the love of God which includes the possibility of communicating with the dead, not as a silly game, but as a way to give peace to someone who is hurting and just needs to hear from that loved one "one more time". The great mercy of God allows that.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Yes
Describe: Yes I was immediately at peace.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes
Describe: Yes, as already stated in detail above.
Have you ever made a death compact? No
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Yes
Describe: No NDE or OBE, but many many spiritual experiences. Too numerous to describe.
To the best of your knowledge, did the deceased, during their life, ever have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual experience? Uncertain
Describe: He may have had an NDE and/or an OBE. I wish I knew. This I do know; daddy was a very spiritual person who deeply believed in God. I know he did have an experience of God that was undeniable to him, however he never told me the details. Daddy was a macho man. But when he tried to talk to me (when I was struggling with believing God could love me) about the love of God, he would get tears in his eyes and wouldn't be able to talk. He would look away while trying to regain control over his emotions. He just could never fully express what he knew about God's love. Whatever the experience was, it obviously had a tremendous impact on him.
experience dream like in any way?
Describe: Only in that I seemed to enter an alternate reality. Of course, I was driving at the time so I HAD to keep my eyes on the road. I do remember looking at the passenger seat to see if I could actually, physically SEE him. (I did not.)
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? Yes
Describe: It was like time slowed down.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes
Describe: I certainly believe in ADC's now! I started to see God more as a very loving Father than as an impersonal Judge, which is, ironically, exactly what daddy tried to get across to me while he was alive.
Has the experience affected your relationships? Daily life? Religious practices etc.? Career choices? I guess it's affected everything in my life. I'm more open to seeing the spiritual side of life. I'm a nurse so I can talk openly with patients who have had a similar experience and encourage them to talk about it and believe it. I like to be around people who accept this as something that could actually happen whether or not they have had an experience like this. I tend to avoid people who don't have open minds about this kind of thing.
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
It took one whole year before I even told my mother, who is my best friend in
all the world. She cried when I told her. She said she believed it. My oldest
sister believed it too. My middle sister thought it was of the devil because of
the scriptures about the dead being asleep in Christ. I would have thought this
way too except it actually happened to me. Sometimes God loves to blow our
minds letting "the impossible" happen, when there's a good reason for it.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? Yes
Describe: Yes with Judy Guggenheim and her husband. She said she would be in contact with me but I never heard from her again. I also shared this with a near-death message board moderated by Linda Stewart. I may have also told Betty Eadie in part about this.
emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?
Peace, awe, numbness.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The best part was learning that daddy was in heaven.
The worst part was doubting it was real and being told I would not get another answer.
anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?
No, I've covered it.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes
Describe: Yes, I started reading every near-death book I could get my hands on. I had stopped going to church about 5 years before daddy died. I experienced a renewed faith in God and a sense of humility about myself. I became insatiably inquisitive about the things of God rather than being pompous that I knew it all.
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life,
medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?
Describe: Emphatically, NO!
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes