Ginny B's 1st ADC
With Father

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Experience description:  

I graduated from nursing school in May 1991.  Daddy had been on dialysis for 11 years by that time.  He started going downhill in January of that year.  He had a heart attack three days before I took state boards in July.  I knew intuitively, although I didn't want to listen, that he would be dying soon.  My family and I had experienced many ups and downs regarding his health.  He seemed to rally sometimes and we had the feeling that he would be getting better.  Then some new complication would occur.  He had been in the hospital for a total of 60 days or so by September 1991. 

Since his doctors could not do any more for him, they reluctantly agreed to send him home, since I, my mother, and my oldest sister are nurses.  The doctors arranged for a hospital bed and a Hoyer Lift to be put in the house.  He spent his last 3 weeks at home and seemed to be getting better.  Then one day, on dialysis, he had a stroke.  That was followed by another stroke that left him comatose.  The day before he died, the doctor said it wouldn't be long - maybe two weeks.  Still I went to work that night, hoping against hope, that we would get the miracle we were praying for. 

My mother's neighbor, and dear friend, had a rose garden.  The night before daddy died, she brought over two beautiful little pink roses.  She said "one is for you (my mother) and the other one is for Eddie" (my daddy.)  I didn't think much about the significance of this at the time.  Mother put the little roses, which were tightly closed and had not budded yet, into a vase beside of daddy's hospital bed.  The roses were placed on a table between daddy and the window. 

The next morning, October 1, 1991, daddy died at 8:30am.  I had been asleep because I'd worked the night before.  We gathered around him, holding his hand and touching his face and crying like wounded animals.  If you've had a close loved one die, you know exactly what I mean. 

Suddenly, my mother looked at the roses on the table beside daddy and yelled out "LOOK AT THE ROSES!!".  One little rose stood just as it had the night before, with it's petals tightly closed.  The other rose had fully bloomed and had turned it's little face toward daddy!!

If I hadn't seen it with my very own eyes I'd never have believed it.  Still, the significance was lost on me at the moment.  I was grieving and could not be consoled.  Now, as I write this, I have tears in my eyes because of the simple beauty of the message that these two special roses gave us.  Daddy's spirit was in full bloom.  He was free.

At the time, I had hoped for a bigger sign than this.  I thought it was too good to be true so I discounted it as a sign.  (See my other ADC experience with my daddy.)

Did you sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them ?  Yes
Describe:  I did feel his presence still with us.  I didn't see anything.  No mist, no aura, no nothing.  Needless to say, I was really disappointed.

How long did the experience last?  It only took a second to look at the roses.  I noticed the difference in the two right away but didn't attach any meaning to it.  However, I think it's important to note that it took several days before the other rose bloomed.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?  We never knew exactly when "daddy's rose" bloomed.  We assumed it had happened sometime during the night or early that morning before he died, but we didn't see it happen.  We just noticed that it had bloomed.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No.  But I believe this was God's way of saying to us that this was daddy's time to come home.  Again, I didn't believe it at the time.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  Daddy had just died, so I was crying uncontrollably at times.  When I saw what had happened to the roses, I was just numb to any meaning from it.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have:      Joy
      Other Attitude or Belief
          I am in awe of the great mercy and grace of God to give us this beautiful sign that daddy was fine.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?  Uncertain
Describe:  As stated before, I wanted to believe this was a sign, but because of my intense feelings of grief, it wasn't until after daddy had visited me in my car that I knew this was also a sign from God.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes
Describe:  I believe that God loves us so much and He has intimate knowledge of our grief and sorrows, and in His mercy, He reaches out to us in numerous ways to console us.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  Yes
      Describe:  Many spiritual experiences.

To the best of your knowledge, did the deceased, during their life, ever have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual experience?  Uncertain
      Describe:  No, we had not discussed that.  Daddy was a macho man.  But He deeply believed in God.  I know he had spiritual experiences that made God real to him.  When he'd try to explain those experiences, he would become tearful, look away, and stop talking.  He obviously had had profound experiences of God.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?  Yes

      Describe:  Yes, this was verified by my mother, my sisters, the rest of my family, my mother's neighbor, the hospice nurse, a hospice volunteer, and the hospice chaplain.  The hospice chaplain wrote about the two roses in her next newsletter. 

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?  Yes

      Describe:  I desperately wanted to believe that this was a sign that daddy was ok but did not, that is, until about six weeks later when he visited me.

Did you become aware of future events?  No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?  Uncertain

      Describe:  Maybe, if you consider that daddy did visit me about six weeks later.  I had not ever even considered it possible to communicate with the dead and thought it was an evil thing.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?  Yes

      Describe:  But not until later did the message of the roses reach me.

Has the experience affected your relationships?  Daily life?  Religious practices etc.?  Career choices?  I look for meaning in the simple things.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  When the hospice chaplain wrote about this experience in her next newsletter, we found out that one person said he could not believe this really happened.  My mother, my sister and I knew this person.  But he was the only one.  Others that I've shared this with were touched by it.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  Yes
      Describe:  I emailed this experience to Betty Eadie.  I have not seen it on her "Heavenly Encounters" list.  However, my experience of being saved by a very big angel is on her web site.  It's simply entitled "One Tough Angel" by "Annie".  I don't know why she didn't use my real name.  I had ok'd it.

What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?  Just grief, grief, and more grief.  I totally discounted this as a sign at the time it happened.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  I guess the worst part was not being able to believe it at first.  Grief is primarily a selfish emotion, yet we all go through it, don't we?  It causes you to be numb and unreachable to any signs from God or from our loved one who has just died.  The best part is the sign itself, which I will always carry in my heart.

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?  Yes.  I 'd just like to say to all those reading this and my other experiences who are still grieving and hoping for a sign, please turn to God for peace and don't look for a sign, but still be open to it.  Pray that God will open your mind to accept whatever sign He gives you.  I am certain that God gives comfort to ALL OF US while we are grieving.  You may be thinking "but that's not the sign I wanted" and you may discount it as false hope.  My sister experienced "hugs" and a great feeling of peace from my dad after he died.  My mother experienced "hugs and kisses" and dreams from my dad after he died.  My experience was different.  Trust your experiences and believe that they are real, because they are.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes
Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire:  Can't think of any.  This is a great web site!  Thanks for letting me share my experiences.