Ginny B's ADC From Patient

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Experience description:

      I had been taking care of "James" (I don't recall if that was truly his first name or not - I called him Mr. *****)  for several weeks on the cardiac surgery step-down floor at the hospital where I worked at the time.  I had grown quite close to him and his wife over the course of the weeks I took care of him, and they felt a bond with me also.  His medical situation reminded me so much of my dad's.  My dad had not lived to have the surgery that James had.  James just did not get any better after surgery.  He continued to go downhill.  He told me time and again he wished he could go home.  His wife stayed with him every day and night.  Finally the day came for him to be discharged because the doctors couldn't do anything else for him.  I was so happy for him and his wife because they were getting to go home.  They gave me a gift and I told them goodbye because I would not see him the next day, the day he was discharged to home.  The nurses told me he was just beaming as they put him in the wheelchair to take him out to the car. 

He was discharged on Wednesday.  Thursday night I came in to work at 11pm.  The nurses told me that James had died in his sleep that morning.  So he only got one night at home.  I was devastated.   I planned to go to his funeral on Saturday at 2pm with two other nurses who knew the area well.  Friday night I worked an extra four hours, coming in at 7pm instead of the usual 11pm.  So I had worked all week 11pm to 7am with an extra four hours on Friday night.  Saturday morning came and I was exhausted though I still planned to stay awake for the funeral at 2pm.  One of the nurses had already cancelled going to the funeral the day before.  Then the other nurse called me Saturday morning and said she wasn't going either! 

Then I was in a quandary.  Atlanta is a big city and I wasn't sure if I could find the funeral home by myself or not.  I called the funeral home and they gave me directions to go to Peachtree Street.  If you know Atlanta at all, you'd know that EVERY STREET is named Peachtree Street or some variation of that.  I didn't know if I could find it or not and I was getting really tired at that point - it was about 10 or 11am and way past my bedtime.  I had been counting on the others to drive me there because I knew I'd be sleep deprived by that point, plus I didn't know the area.  I was so angry about this situation that I stayed up, still going back and forth in my mind about whether to go or not.  Although I was exhausted, I couldn't sleep.  I reluctantly made up my mind that I would not go to the funeral.   I guess it was about 12 noon at that point.  I remember I was sitting on the sofa trying to unwind.

That's when it started.  I heard James's voice in my mind just as clear as day saying "Ginny, please go....please Ginny....please....please go."  I was in a state of shock at hearing his voice urging, begging, pleading with me to go to his funeral.  Although I had heard from my dad after his death, I still couldn't quite believe I was also hearing from James.  I knew why he was urging me to go though.  It was for the sake of his dear wife.  I knew she was probably devastated.  But I knew that it was dangerous for me to be out on the streets of Atlanta being sleep-deprived though.  So I got a little perturbed because James kept on insisting that I go.  He kept saying "Ginny....please,...please go...."  I was really uncomfortable because of  his persistence.  This went on for about two hours.  This begging and pleading finally and abruptly came to a halt.  I looked at the clock.  It was 2pm.

Did you sense an awareness or presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them ?  No
       
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?  Yes
     
Describe:  Yes, I heard "Ginny....please go...please Ginny....please go..." over and over and over and over again until 2pm
     
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated?  In my mind.

     
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?  It was exactly as he sounded when alive.

     
How clearly did you hear the deceased?  Clear as day.

     
Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  Absolutely not.

     
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?  No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?  No

Did you see the deceased?  No

Did you smell a distinct smell, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?  No

How long did the experience last?  For about 2 hours, more or less.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?  Both the beginning and the end were abrupt.  It just started and then it just ended.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?  Oh yes.  He was desperate that I go to his funeral.
     
Describe:  Oh yes.  He was desperate that I go to his funeral.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:  I was uncomfortable because I had wanted to go to the funeral.  I felt like I was letting him and his wife down.  But under the circumstances, I didn't feel like I should be on the highway, so I was a little pissed off at him for begging me to go to his funeral.  I also felt a little dazed at hearing his voice when I knew he was dead, but I just KNEW it was him.

What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have:     
      Other Attitude or Belief
          I believe I should have gone to the funeral anyway and prayed for God's strength to keep me awake and safe and for help finding the funeral home.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?  Yes
     
Describe:  I was glad to know that James was ok even though he seemed to be in torment that none of the nurses who took care of him would be at his funeral (for his wife's sake.)

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?  Yes
     
Describe:  Prior to this, I had heard from my dad after he died.  I thought that was a one-shot deal.  No more communicating with the dead.  I was wrong.

Have you ever made a death compact?  No
        
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?  Yes
      Describe:  No OBE's or NDE's but plenty of spiritual experiences of God.

To the best of your knowledge, did the deceased, during their life, ever have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual experience?  Uncertain
      Describe:  We never discussed that.

Have you shared this experience with others?  Yes

      Describe:  I told my mother.  She didn't know what to think.  I also told some of the nurses I worked with who knew the patient.  These girls were open minded and believed me.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?  No  

What emotions/feelings did you experience following your experience?  Uncomfortable, perturbed, dazed.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?  The best part was hearing from James again.  The worst part was the message itself.  I felt guilty because I didn't go to his funeral.

Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?  No.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?
  Yes

      Describe:  I always listen for any messages coming to me after a patient dies.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?  No
       
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?  Yes