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Hali K's ADC

Experience description:  

To preface this experience, I must say that I met my soul companion (whatever you choose to call it) when I was 24 and he was 17. We were very close- romantically, psychically, physically, etc. He died in 1998 but I was unaware of his death until 2005 when I had a series of very surreal and unusual "dreams" that told me of his passing. I confirmed his death with his mother a few months later. 

The experience:

I was asleep and aware I was "dreaming." It was a normal dream until my soul companion suddenly appeared. We hugged and the instant we embraced I felt the most unconditional, all-encompassing love and acceptance I've ever felt in my life. I had the thought, "This is what it feels like to die." I was very happy and "in the moment." I didn't want to go back, wherever back was. But I knew this is where I belonged. I had no memory of my current life or people in it (I have a husband -and a daughter who was 2 at the time). I felt like no matter what I did, or what I will do in my current life on earth that it was all okay and I was forgiven and loved so immensely that I could do no wrong. I felt beautiful and loved and perfect and forgiven. It was so intense and more real than any feeling I've ever had in 43 years on this earth. The feeling is hard to explain in words alone. I kept thinking that I did not want to return to my current life. I wanted to stay where I was and feel these intense emotions.  

When I woke from this experience, which seemed like immediately after, I realized it was April 14, which is my soul companions birthday.

At the time of your experience was there an associated life-threatening event?         No      

Was the experience difficult to express in words?   Yes     The experience was based on emotion and feeling and it was so intense and so REAL that it is hard to explain in human words. There are no words to describe this. The words I use don't even come close.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    More consciousness and alertness than normal    The entire time after we embraced     It was so real and felt so intense that I have never felt that while on earth. When I woke I tried to recreate it but nothing compared. I felt a little depressed for days after this experience. I wanted to feel that intensity again. It was the one experience that felt REAL in all my life.

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    More real.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.    I was unaware of sounds with my physical ears. I only felt emotions.

Did you see or hear any earthly events that were occurring during a time that your consciousness / awareness was apart from your physical / earthly body?    No  

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            unconditional and intense LOVE, acceptance, forgiveness  

Did you pass into or through a tunnel?           No      

Did you see an unearthly light? No      

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?            No   

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?         Yes    I saw my soul companion (whom I met when I was 24). He had died in 1998 and I was unaware of this until a series of dreams in 2005 that told me. I confirmed his death with his mother months later. And later found his obituary from 1998 in library archives.

Did you become aware of past events in your life during your experience?    No      

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?          No      

Did time seem to speed up or slow down?     No      

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?            No      

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain      We were on a boat by a dock surrounded by water.

Did you come to a border or point of no return?       No      

Did scenes from the future come to you?       No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge or purpose?        No      

Discuss any changes that might have occurred in your life after your experience:   Large changes in my life  It has made me appreciate the experience and that I was lucky enough to not "die" and still get to feel this intense love, acceptance, forgiveness.             

Did you have any changes in your values or beliefs after the experience that occurred as a result of the experience?   
Yes     I don't believe in the afterlife, I KNOW it's real. I know it exists.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?    Uncertain     I've always had a slight inclination towards "non-ordinary" gifts. After I confirmed his death in 2005 my 'gifts' got a lot stronger and I experienced a great deal more synchronicity and "knowing" in life. It's like we are still attached even after his death.

Have you ever shared this experience with others?           
Yes     Maybe a few days. I only shared the experience with few close friends who I knew would understand and not judge me or think I was crazy or "it was just a dream" response. They were awed by the experience. I don't know if they were influenced.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes     I read a lot about NDE around 2000-2002 (which was about 10 years prior to the experience). I don't know if it affected the experience. I know when it was happening I thought, "This is what it feels like to die," and I never felt happier in my life. I understood why NDE'ers don't want to come back when they experience this. I just remember the next day thinking, "I have been given a gift." And it changed me for the better.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:    Experience was definitely real    I still thought about it every day. I tried to recreate it, thinking that maybe it was just a really vivid dream. I couldn't recreate it. It was real. It was hard to wrap my mind around it but I knew it happened and I knew I experienced it. It was not a vivid dream. I was so happy that my soul companion cares enough about me to give me this gift.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience at the current time: Experience was definitely real           It was a gift. I don't know why it happened to me through "dream state." I know it was real. More real than me sitting here typing these words on the computer.

I still remember it vividly to this day.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           Yes     I try to be less judgmental of others. More caring, understanding and compassionate.

Have your religious beliefs/spiritual practices changed specifically as a result of your experience? No   

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience?  No   

Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?    Yes    I think it pretty much covered everything.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?     The fact that it was a 'dream', I was not ill or dead. And that it was my soul companion who let me experience this. Also that it was on his birthday.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience?        I realize this may not be classified as a real NDE but I know what happened and how I felt. Feel free to delete this if you feel it doesn't meet criteria. It won't upset me if you do. But I wanted to tell my story. I have never heard of anyone having a NDE-like experience via dream state - but maybe some have and they discount them because they think it's just a vivid dream or something they made up. I know for certain I did not make this up and it was not an actual "dream." I have searched for information on 'dream state' NDE but found nothing. Perhaps the right term isn't NDE for this type of amazing experience.