My son was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome 6 months after my husband died 12/6/09.  Beginning high school he was full of trepidation and fear.  After years of not fitting in, social difficulties and depression he found a few good friends within the classrooms smaller settings. He finally was able to go to school without dread.  This was pretty awesome for me as a parent and him as the middle school years were difficult for us both. 

My son had delayed grief, his grief did not begin until approximately the 2 year mark of my husbands death. As I was accepting this new normal that was my life his spiraled downward. 

Having autism, trying to accept this, understand what it is etc combined with teenage angst and grief is the mother load of emotions to say the least.  Teens with autism have difficulty expressing these emotions. 

And so with that in mind I will relay my sons experience.   

We had had an arrrg u ment (intentionally  misspelled) some days prior this is not unusual yet I had been feeling particularly frustrated and prayed to Paul/divine spirits to help.  I told the great beyond that I was feeling weak and helpless unable to parent properly and did not know what to do. 

Brandon days later came down and admitted that he had seem Paul.  He feared that I would take him to the loony bin and I assured his that I would not. That I read ADC's every morning before work and nothing that he would confide in me would rattle me in the least.  I told him that I would find it interesting and tried not to show my excitement. 

He told me that he saw Paul on the couch in the living room.  That if he were on the love seat Paul was on the other couch sitting there smiling at him.  Paul would stand up to walk towards him and would disappear.  He admitted that he saw Paul in his room after treating me disrespectfully and he would be frowning with his arms crossed.  He told me that he was in the classroom at school before a test and he saw Paul at the blackboard smiling like "Hey you can do this!"  This encouragement allowed him to successfully take the test without worry. 

This admission took days to get out of him.  He really did fear that I would think he was crazy. 

Please see below # 31 for communication from a neighbor "Jimmy" a week after his death. 

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Uncertain

Son was leery to express what had happened to him fearing that I would think that he was crazy and take him to a "mental institution".

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?           

No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    Paul would approve or disapprove his actions.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  Paul would let him know that he was there and try to help Brandon through difficult situations.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           Not sure if he heard a voice he is reluctant to speak of experience.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   no

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Uncertain

This is not my experience but my sons.  I will need to ask him more about it when he is ready to speak about it again.

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

My son says that Paul looks the same.  Paul looked different before his death having experiencing a stroke and multiple seizures.  Brandon having autism it is particularly a delicate thing to try to ask.  I believe that Paul looked healthy before his illness.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            solid

            How much of the deceased did you see?       all

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       he appears the age that he died yet healthy before the brain aneurism, stoke and seizures.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He appeared to be healthy as in happier times in our lives.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Uncertain

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           I did not ask yet.  But my son seems to have a sensitivity to smells, light and noise due to Apsperger's

How long did the experience last?        moments each time just long enough to get the point across of the dissatisfaction or encouragement that Paul wanted to relay.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         appears to be sudden.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Approving or disapproving of his behavior.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  no accept to confirm that he was indeed watching over us.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was probably real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           Please understand that I am answering these questions for my son.  I Definately see these as real and have had too many experience to push it off as coincidence or imagination. As for as believing in the afterlife I certainly do having had multiple ADC's since Paul's death.  I think that Brandon does doubt or question all of the above but I do not.  I know that it is Paul looking after us as he has always done.  Yet needed to make himself appear before Brandon for him to believe.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

He said that he saw his dad.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Brandon has had negative thoughts that brought Paul to him sad, suicidal, grief, and anger mostly confusion at these emotions prior to the experience.  But he claims at the time of the experience itself that his mind is blank and he is relaxed.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

I think so but again, I must approach my son at the right time to ask these questions that certainly burn in my mind.  He does not particularly want to speak of these experiences and I must do it slowly regardless of How much I want to know.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      I will ask him eventually

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            I am hoping that these experiences continue and the Brandon can see this as a guidance during crutial moments of his life.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Uncertain      cannot speak for my son.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     I cannot speak for him.  But I knew that there was "something out there" beyond our knowledge.  I have always felt Paul near and only have the doorbell experience and tingling of the fingers knowing he is near.  I talk to him when I am by myself still.  I know that he hears me when he is not busy with his heavenly chores.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

I wish we had,  But it would have admitted that he was close to death. something that neither of us were willing to admit.  He in fact was getting better a year and a half after his surgery.  His death was unexpected by me but I think that he knew when he went out on that last walk in the dead of winter and collapsed.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Uncertain cannot speak for my son on this.


What emotions did you feel during the experience?            I cannot answer for him but would like to know myself.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

unknown not my experience

Did you become aware of future events?       Uncertain

unknown at this time

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

do now know but would love to find out

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?            Yes

He claims that less than a week after a neighbors death that hit him pretty hard. (Jimmy reminded him of his dad hard working good man) that Jimmy asked him is the burger (he just got from Parr's) was good.  I asked him if Jimmy sounded healthy. Jimmy had several surgeries on his jaw that made communication difficult to understand.  Brandon's response was that he always understood Jimmy.  Again Asperger's moment Brandon is literal and hard to understand what he means at times.  Forcing the issue only makes him close down.

Did you see a light?           No

Not that he mentioned

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            Yes

occurred at home, school and as in the communication from a recently deceased neighbor walking home from a burger joint.

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     me his mom only.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I am envious that he got to see Paul and I have not.  I am unable to stop the monkey chatter in my mind to keep it clear for such an experience.  Brandon as told me that he will teach me to meditate.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Please! put a spell check on here.  I must slow down my thoughts to try to correct my spelling.  Eventually I just typed unworried about it.