I had had a terrible time when my father died. He clung to life past his expectancy. His organs were bursting and his toes turning blue before my mother gave him permission to pass on. 

When I was told my mother didn't have long to live, it became crucial for me to see that she did not cling on as my father had done. I wanted her to be comfortable with the idea. 

I had an experience 10 years back which inspired me that the physical death was a wonderful thing. An end to the entrapments of mortality and the release of the spirit into perfect freedom and wholeness. I counseled my mother in my beliefs and tried to help her understand that she had nothing to fear, and would be whole again. She was confined to a bed, completely blind and on dialysis three times a week. Most of the time she was violently ill from her treatments. 

She was frail and weak and terribly unhappy and she criticized me for my points of view on the subject of death, but I understood her fear was talking, and I would stop the conversation for a time and come back to it the next day.  

I was shattered when she passed, not because it was unexpected, but because I had been so composed prior to the event, having focused so much on making her transition as pleasing as possible. 

I knew that her loving, beautiful spirit might be trapped between worlds if she were too frightened to make the complete journey and I didn't want that. 

We were unable to bury her for 3 days as it was the week end. The day after her passing my sister, brother and I were up early to gather things for a tribute to her. We each took a box and searched it for her poems, artwork, songs and photos. 

My brother was putting together a poster board and my sister was compiling information when I suddenly heard my mother's voice as loud and clearly as if she were standing beside me. 

She was laughing. "You won't believe it!" she said to me. Just those 4 words. I was ecstatic. I knew she had had a wonderful experience and she was amazed by it. I could hear in her voice how relieved and happy she was. She was safe, she was whole, she had made a successful transition. The entire experience lasted only a second but it filled my senses in every way. I felt my mother and I heard her. I had knowledge of her in the after life. She was no longer blind or crippled. She was younger too! I did not see her with my eyes, but in my mind. Her hair was dark and to me she looked as she did 30 years ago. She was perhaps in her 50's.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  No

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    She was laughing. "You won't believe it!" she said to me. Just those 4 words. I was ecstatic. I knew she had had a wonderful experience and she was amazed by it. I could hear in her voice how relieved and happy she was. She was safe, she was whole, she had made a successful transition. The entire experience lasted only a second but it filled my senses in every way. I felt my mother and I heard her. I had knowledge of her in the after life. She was no longer blind or crippled. She was younger too! I did not see her with my eyes, but in my mind. Her hair was dark and to me she looked as she did 30 years ago. She was perhaps in her 50's.

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  Inside me, in my head, my heart and my soul all at once. It was a combination of a voice and a feeling. a thrilling feeling.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           Exactly the same as my mother's voice when she was alive.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No. Absolutely not.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   None.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Uncertain

I felt thrilled, a feeling of excitement, even when I recall it I feel the same thing. My hair rises but it is the most amazingly good feeling, warm, glowing.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   Very familiar. I have experienced this through out my life but never with a voice. I had always felt inspired and thought it was God telling me everything would be all right. With my mother, the experience was more profound.

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Just a feeling of total ecstasy and peace.

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  No, my brother and sister were the only people there and they were grieving.

Did you see the deceased?         No

not with my eyes. It was more a visual sensation.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Transparent

            How much of the deceased did you see?       shoulders up to head

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       30 years younger

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            in perfect health. Radiant. She had none of her physical ailments

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

How long did the experience last?        It was too short. Very brief. I wanted more. I wanted to talk with her.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         The experience came on suddenly and ended suddenly, like a breeze blowing past.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

She was excited, thrilled, ecstatic, immensely happy.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  No. I only wish she had spoken to me concerning any knowledge she may have gained.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I feel it is real because I knew my mother and "You won't believe it!" was a term she used to use when she was alive. It was her way of saying she had made a surprising discovery. It was her catch phrase, she used it all the time.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No           

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           I was thrilled. I was so happy and excited. I wanted to join my mother. I wanted to hold her and talk with her and celebrate this wonderful event. She was on an amazing voyage, it was like seeing her off on a cruise ship but there was no ship.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I knew she was all right. Following the communication I had vivid dreams every night for a year. I would see my mother in the kitchen wearing a house coat, the way she usually dressed. Her hair was the color and style it was in my youth. She would always be smiling. Always happy. She would hug me and I her and I wished I would never wake up. I felt I was home.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      Being with my mother again was the best. Unable to stay with her was the worst.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            I don't know. I have had a number of trials since my experience. In November of 2007 I was struck by a car while crossing the street, in January of 2008 I contracted Shingles, in October of 2009 I contracted Plantar Fasciitis. I have been left physically debilitated and weak. I have never had so much traumatic pain in such a repetitive cycle before. (Every fall/prior to the new year a major event/illness happening to me)       

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?   Yes     An intensified feeling of wanting to be there not here.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     We are cleansed of our negative energy and our physical ailments. We are made pure and whole. I am biased on this because I do not understand why we need to mess with the perfection of life on the other side. I am still looking for the answers as to why we are here in the first place. I have read many NDE's and ADC's and it seems that the "love one another" philosophy they learn is already accomplished on the spirit plane. Why come here to get it?

There is only suffering here. The experience has left me mystified and confused and angry.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Yes

We wanted to be together, all three of us. Our mother, my sister and I because we had always lived and struggled together. We had never lived a part from the other. Our mother wants us to go on with our lives though. 

My sister and I have a "death compact" together. We also do not want to be separated.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No But my sister and brother can testify to my mother's catch phrase "you won't believe it."

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Immense joy, happiness, relief that she was okay and she made it to the other side. I was also disappointed and saddened that we could not converse.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    No

Did you become aware of future events?       No

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         Uncertain

Dream visits with my mother 1 year following her death/my ADC

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

I was very much "with" my mother at the time and unaware of anything else. It happened too quickly. I know I never left my bedroom.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?   No

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     My sister thinks it is amazing and is saddened that my mother did not contact her.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         Yes 

On occassion I hear my mother speak but the voice is farther away and I believe it is just recall, knowing what my mother would say about certain things that are going on.

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Yes 

In 1997 I was at a very low point in my life. I was in physical pain and also deeply depressed. I wanted to die. I saw no way out of my misery. I was on my way to work, stopped at a light, when suddenly It seemed I was surrounded by a light-not physically, but in my mind. It was glowing yellow and warm and I felt thrilled, happy, whole, healthy. It was amazing. I knew what was on the other side without any words being conveyed. I just knew it was wonderful on the other side and where I was didn't matter, neither did what was happening because that wonderful place was waiting for me and I would be going there someday. I knew this was the after life though I knew it more from a sense of knowing than from someone actually telling me something.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Uncertain

I don't know if experiences like these can be accurately described. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    I cannot think of any at the time.