unique opportunity to view an experience from the point of an experiencer with
no knowledge about the deceased and from his wife's perspective with total
knowledge of the events! What is extremely fascinating about these
submissions is that it doesn't appear that either spouse realizes that the other
spouse has submitted an account to ADCRF.
The event I am going to describe happened to my husband, not directly to me, but it involves me and my sister that died. My sister visited my husband, I have no doubt that this happened, even though members of my family discounted it.
My husband never met my sister, I met and married him after she died. But through me and members of my family, he developed a kind of mental image I suppose, through pictures and talk about her. He related to me, several months ago, that she had came to him while he was asleep.
He finally told me about it for a couple of reasons, he started receiving e-mail from a source that he didn't recognize or solicit, marked from JoAnn, my sisters name, now this was just trash mail, I'm not saying it was electronic messages from beyond, but they stopped immediately after he told me about the "dream."
Secondly, I was having a bad night, it happens sometime, she died in a very violent car crash, I saw the body in the funeral home about an hour afterwards, she was still as she had been in the wreck. It was traumatic and something that I have had to deal with for 2 years now. But for the first time I related to my husband about the process the funeral director had taken to try to piece her together for my parents, so they could view her and say goodbye. He asked me some very pointed questions about clothing we had buried her in and what she looked like before and afterward. They seemed like odd questions, but I answered them thing that he was trying to help me work through all the pain and memories.
Then he related to me the "dream". He said she was in a room, he described the room, which I believe to be the room her body was placed in before it was moved to the chapel, low lighting, off white wall, etc... He said it was kind of misty but he saw her clearly, he said while he watched her speak, she seemed to have trouble with the movement of her mouth, and that her eye looked strange and her face was severely swollen. I believe the sole purpose of the visit was to assure my husband, so he could assure me, that she hadn't killed herself, which is what I believed.
She told him that it was an accident but that someone else had been involved. Also that I should have known better than to think that she had killed herself, he described to the detail, the outfit she had been buried in, the injuries and how they tried to repair them, the scarf we had to place around her neck to disguise the broken and offset spinal cord, and also, that she had something in the pocket of her jacket. I have no doubt that the message was meant as a comfort to me, and to let me know she hadn't hurt herself.
Thank you, Penny G.
Husband's Experience description:
It was like i was standing in a room that had urn lamps in it with nothing else there. It was dark other than the lamps and as I recall and told my wife, i saw her walking up to me. She stopped and ask if i knew who she was, and I said, yes but why are you here? She then asked me who I was and I told her and she said she knew this but had to be sure. I again asked why she was here and she said she needed to talk to me.
I then ask here why she done it and she said why did i do what. My wife always believed that she killed herself by hitting the tree intentionally. she the told me that they knew better than that and that she would have never done anything like that. I could see her face, clothing, the scarf she had around her neck the item in her pocket etc. She told me that if they had looked they would have seen what happened and I asked what that meant and she again said the same thing and again I asked what she meant. She then told me the hole in her head was caused from a gunshot not the wreck. I asked what she meant and she said I was shot in the head while I was driving and I did not wreck the car on purpose.
I was able to describe in detail to my wife things about her that I had no way of knowing. Her clothes that she was buried in, the buttons on the lapel the pin on her collar the scarf around her neck and the pattern on it. I could see a mark on her head where she was injured in the wreck, I could see the marks on her hand. I could see that her eye was swollen and did not blink like the other eye. I could see something in her pocket but could not tell what it was. The pin on her jacket i could tell was an angel I could tell what color the suit was and how many buttons were on it and the size of them. I told my wife all these things and she just looked at me as if there was no way I could have known this because she never discussed them with me. After she was finished talking she turned and walked away and that was the last time I saw her.
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe: while I was asleep I could hear her speaking
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally, or outside of you, inside of you, or did you not hear a voice or sound but had a knowing of what was communicated? I dont really know I was asleep but it was like I was right there
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar to the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? I never heard her voice before this
How clearly did you hear the deceased? she talked to me and told me things about herself and the accident
Is there any possibility that what you heard was from any other source in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? no
Did you see the deceased? Yes
Describe the appearance of the deceased: I saw her standing there talking to me and though I never saw her or knew her and for certain did not attend her funeral I relayed in detail things to my wife that I had no way of knowing without being told or seeing them such as the way she was dressed, her hair, scarf, the place on her head from the wreck ect. I never saw her while she was alive
How clearly did the deceased appear? solid
How much of the deceased did you see? from the thighs up
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? I don't know.
I never saw her before this
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? I don't know
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in your surroundings at the time of your experience? no i don't think so I was asleep
How long did the experience last? not sure
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? about the same as I recall
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? she was not upset in any way It was like she was very anxious to tell me something
Describe: she was not upset in any way It was like she was very anxious to tell me something
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? she told me a lot of things about the wreck and it was believed that she was killed in the wreck but she was telling me that if they had looked they would have seen that it was not the wreck at all.. There was not an autopsy performed on her as per my wife.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience: Experience was definitely real
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: as i recall I was confused as to why she would come to me when I didn't even know her
What other attitudes and beliefs about your experience do you currently have:
Other Attitude or Belief
Would like to know why this happened and what it was suppose to mean
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? No
Describe: not for me but my wife said she felt better about the whole thing
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? No
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
Describe: I was asleep and had no other explanation for it but it was too realistic so I don't know how to explain it
Have you shared this experience with others? Yes
I told my wife about it about a month after and she was shocked and said that it
had to be real because of the detail
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
What was the best and worst part of your experience? not knowing why
anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?
not really other than would like to know why
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain
Describe: I don't really know how to understand and that's what I am looking for