I had come home early from work to visit my parents. My father had been sick, experiencing flu-like symptoms for two days. Two weeks prior, my father, a genuinely happy and talkative jokester, had stopped speaking to us or would only answer with a few words. We thought he may have been depressed due to financial pressures. He had gone to the doctor and been sent home with medicines to take for his fever and vomiting. I felt unsettled and upset seeing my father, a recently spry 72, so ill. I went upstairs to take a nap. I had a dream of my family sitting in my living room. My grandmother, my father's mother, was laying on the couch and speaking in gibberish, pointing to the ceiling often and calling it "the grate." My mother, in the dream, told me not to mind her because she was no longer "with it." My grandfather, another cheerful man in his time, came strolling in whistling and happy. When I saw my grandfather next, he was sitting across from my father, and a tear was rolling down his cheek. When I asked him why, he pointed to my father. I woke up. The next day, I demanded we bring my father to the hospital, where we discovered he had a large malignant tumor and just two months to live. We tried everything to save him, but it was no use. We lost him this past April. I have seen my father several times since in dreams; some where we have argued, others where we have had fun. I've seen him go from exact moments in his worst final days to sudden good health and jumping around the room within the same dream, or a dream where he is standing around and joking as he always did with other living and passed family members, including my deceased grandfather. I've even seen him leave the coffin as if he came back to life, and it was a big mistake. He's talked to me, and he's looked himself, not the awfully ill and dying man I witnessed the few months leading to his death.
Was this experience
difficult to express in words?
Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased? Yes
Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated: Words spoken by my grandmother, saying "the grate/the great" and my grandfather whistling and saying "hello."
Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated? I'm not sure. It's hard to recall.
If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive? similar.
Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? no, I was upstairs and the door was closed. My father was most likely resting, and my mother was probably watching TV with him.
Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience? maybe, but doubtful.
Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased? No
Did you see the deceased? Yes
They appeared as I remember them in their healthiest days, fully dressed in clothing typical of what they would wear.
How clearly did the deceased appear? solid, in full color
How much of the deceased did you see? All.
Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died? They appeared slightly younger, perhaps a few years before suffering the downsides of old age and illness.
How healthy did the deceased appear to be? Healthy. At the time of death, my grandfather was blind and frail, and my grandmother had suffered a stroke and also was ill and frail and without her wig. She was fine in my dream, and so was my grandfather.
Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience? No, I was asleep.
Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased? No
How long did the experience last? I'm not sure; it was dream state experience, so no longer than an hour.
Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden? Gradual. It ended after my grandfather pointed to my father.
Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased? Yes
My grandmother seemed very concerned about the grate and desperate to communicate with us. My grandfather came in happy, but the dream ended with him sad and crying.
Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know? I learned that there was something wrong with my father' brain. I am positive they were both trying to tell me of his illness and his fate. It was helpful and true. I could scarcely believe how clear and how haunting the dream was. I still remember those parts of it so clearly, and I will probably never forget it.
How do you currently view the reality of your experience? Experience was definitely real
Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real: Doctor's had told us he had a virus, so we believed them. I feared other things, but had not said them out loud, so I could understand if my own fears developed these images in my head. But I just cannot imagine how both of those people with whom my father had been so close, who had both passed several years prior, would appear to point out things so clearly, communicate so strongly, and guide me to making a firm decision that was being vehemently dodged by my other family members. We were not going to bring him to the hospital, and we may not have brought him had I not been so affected by that dream.
Was the experience dream like in any way? Yes
It was a dream.
Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience: I was terribly upset, more so by the message of my dream than by seeing my deceased relatives. I knew they had both come with a message and to tell of my father's imminent danger.
Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience? Uncertain
In a way, I feel good to know there is life after death and that my passed relatives are caring for my father. However, the loss of my father has been so great and left such a void in my family and within myself, and the violent, tragic 11 months we spent desperate to save him and watching him die was so gut-wrenching, that I have not yet recovered from the day I was told he was going to die by the both of them.
What was the best and worst part of your experience? The worst part was realizing they had such bad news. The best part was knowing not only did they choose me for their communication, but they could come through so strongly. At first, I thought they had been sent for me to have a chance to save my father, which I still sort of believe. I lean more now toward the idea that they were simply preparing me and letting me know that his time was near, and I chose to delay it by fighting the cancer.
Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience? Yes Describe: I hope every day to have such a clear experience with communication from my father. Now that I know it's possible, I am desperate for it to happen again with him.
Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience? Yes I was confused at first, but I was determined to get my father to the hospital the next day despite my mother's refusal.
Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.? Yes I understood that when a matter was grave enough or serious enough, the dead would find away to communicate. I learned that the dead are watching over us and prepared to welcome us to the other side. I don't know what role God plays in it, but I don't think He sends the messengers or the messages.
Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s). Have you ever made such a compact? No
Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Sad, sick, nervous, panicked, frustrated by my family, guilt for not acting sooner, fear that the dead could in fact communicate so strongly.
Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others? No
Did you have any sense of altered space or time? No
Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose? Yes I know I was being told something important about my father.
Did you become aware of future events? Yes My father's illness and passing.
Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience? No, but I did sometimes have dreams of deceased relatives. This one happened to be the most vivid and most clear.
Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body? No
Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased? My mother was definitely in the dream, and I was also. I don't know if others were.
Did you see a light? I don't remember, but it could have been possible that my grandmother was pointing to a skylight in the ceiling.
Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above? No
Have you shared this experience with others?
Yes My mother and sister believe in these experiences and have claimed to have them as well, but the death of my father was so traumatic for all of us that talking about it or what led up to it has been difficult, so we have not revisited the topic.
Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site? No
Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience? I'm truly hopeful to find a medium or some other recommended professional who can foster a communication with my father for me.
Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience? No
Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain
My grandfather has visited in other dreams, once standing in a circle of talking and joking men beside my father, but this was before my father passed. Relatives who were still alive were also present.
Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event? Uncertain
I was near death in 1999, when I had to be airlifted to another hospital due to complications with pneumonia.
Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Yes
I think it accurately portrays what took place before, during, and after.