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Experience description:  

On December 9, 2009 I had the most extreme experience I'd ever had.

After her death I tried to compartmentalize it away but it kind of kept it alive like a time capsule; all the misplaced guilt and depression was just sitting there.  I felt an overwhelming need to contact Laurie's sister and when I did I had a really weird episode. 

For back story you can read about it here: http://alwaysloved.org

I'd been holding back a low grade depression for quite a while and started writing in a journal. When I wrote a line that Laurie had given up her life with me and it now belonged to my wife Darcy I felt an explosion of euphoria that didn't originate from inside of me.  It started as a tingling in my forehead right where you'd kiss someone and then started shooting waves of euphoria over the top of my head and down my spine. It was initially going every 30 seconds or so but it slowed to every two minutes or so but increased in intensity.  It was REALLY pleasant but also scared the hell out of me.  It was time to go home from work (not that I could get any work done). So I hopped in the car.

As I drove home I started apologizing to Laurie for being such a jerk right before she died (see url above) and right as I drove under a metal walkway on US60 near Mill Ave the euphoria kicked up 1000% and Laurie appeared in front of my face (I was driving).  Her face was translucent and it rippled slightly like a sheet in a soft breeze.  Only her face and the inside part of her torso was visible.  Her face drifted into mine and then I heard her speak.  She said "I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU.  PLEASE BE HAPPY"  During that very brief contact I was again connected to her and I felt again transported outside of 'here' and again connected to everyone and everything.  In that instant I felt such overwhelming love that I forgave everyone that had ever wronged me.  A moment later she was gone and I was back in the car again.  The euphoria tingles continued for FOUR DAYS.  I ended up going to the hospital because I was worried I was having a temporal lobe seizure or something (the Internet is great for scaring the hell out of you).  I was there for 2 days and they tested my blood, did ekg, eeg and other tests and found NOTHING.

Was this experience difficult to express in words?  Yes


Laurie communicated with me off and on for years; interjecting her emotions into my head and it reached a point where I told her leave because it was making me feel crazy.  She didn't like a girl I had a 'thing' for... she was right.

Anyway when she left something happened that I can't describe very well as it doesn't really fit in this reality. As she left I felt engulfed by her in an overwhelming love like a hug without any physicality to it then as she left I became separated from my body (I think) and I was no longer driving down the road but instead 'somewhere' else that was... I can't describe it.. it was like overwhelming love and an interconnectedness with everyone and everything.  I remember feeling like I understood everything in that moment. Then she let go (I think) and I snapped back to my body.. except it wasn't right so I kept popping in and out in my own life out of sequence.  I saw flashes and felt moments from my life both past and future.  I saw a lot of snippets from my life but I can't remember most of them.  The ones that I couldn't forget...  I saw my future wife walking down the isle.  I held my daughter in my arms. I saw snippets of our happy life together.  Then I was back in the car again going over the rail road tracks... In real time it couldn't have taken more than a second.

I met that woman I saw about two weeks later; and we've been together for 18 years.  As I intersect those moments I get an odd sensation where time slows down, sounds don't sound right, and then everything goes back to normal.  It hasn't happened for awhile.  I'm still waiting for my daughter to be born.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    See above

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  It seemed to originate from outside of me but it wasn't audible.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           She didn't speak when she was alive but she made sounds.  I heard those sounds proceeding the words that I heard.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            Yes

It was physical but not physical.  She'd make my arm/forehead/lips/etc tingle.  Often I'd get goosebumps and my hear would stand up in just that area.

            Was the touch familiar or unfamiliar?   familiar

            Was anything communicated by the touch?  Just that she cared about me

            Is there any possibility what you felt was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?  no

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

explained above

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            somewhat transparent

            How much of the deceased did you see?       just face and upper center of torso

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       She was the same age

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            very healthy. she glowed

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           no

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      No

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     n/a

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   n/a

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        n/a

How long did the experience last?        From 1986 to 1993 it was almost every day.  Sometimes she'd only pop in a minute or two; others she'd be there for an hour or more.

After that she didn't appear for 20+ years until Dec 3 2009.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         sudden beginning, end faded out quickly though

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

Most of the time it was a yes/no reaction; in rare cases she spoke like when I was  going to commit suicide.  She stopped me from smashing the car into a brick wall and made me promise not to do it again.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  Yes.  See above.  I'm not sure 'she' gave me the info.  Though she absolutely knew that the women I was pursuing were wrong (she despised every one!); I said I'd go to the party I met my wife as a result of because of her urging.  It was right before I told her to leave.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           The fact that she was communicating things contrary to my own beliefs.  For example how I had a crush on a girl that she kept saying NO about.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   Uncertain

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           Elated

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Yes

I feel like I've experienced a greater reality that surrounds us just outside of our perception; I no longer have animosity towards anyone.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      When the overwhelming feeling of love and connectedness ended.  I felt like my sense of understanding had been ripped out of my mind like I couldn't grasp it anymore.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Yes    

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     explained above

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     There is no death

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        No

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes My wedding and events that I witnessed in 1993 have occurred.  Still waiting for my daughter faith.

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Initially happiness but then sadness when the feeling faded (the first major experience).  After the latest one happiness stuck; All of the misplaced guilt was just gone.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           No

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Yes

Time was compressed.  The experience seemed to last many minutes but actual time could not have been more than a second or two in both major cases.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Yes

see above

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes

Now you're freaking me out :)

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Yes

See above

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?    No

I did not 'meet them' but I felt connected to many other people

Did you see a light?           No

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     Not sure.  I think some think I'm nuts but people that have had people die in their life not so much.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       I'm glad to see this research.. I just started listening to 'Hello from Heaven' and finding out that it's not so rare is comforting

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            No

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           No 

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Uncertain

It is hard to put into words.. I hope so. 

Please offer any suggestions you may have to improve this questionnaire.    Pretty good