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Jens A's ADC

Experience description:  

It was the 8th of October, 2009, and I was visiting my grandmother and grandfather (on my mother's side) in my hometown, ~450 km away from where I live. The reason for the trip was that my stepfather (who lived ~45 km away from my hometown with my mother) was having his 60th birthday the next day, and we (me and my girlfriend, who came with me for the journey) wanted to say hello to my grandparents while we were there anyway. When we came there, my grandfather got up to socialize with us at the kitchen table, but it was hard for him to move and he had started to use a wheelchair (and I had heard from my mother that he recently had started to use diapers). After we had some cookies and coffee, he went back to his bed and my grandmother helped him into it. A while later I went into him alone while my girlfriend and grandmother was watching TV together, and we began talking. The last years we always talked some when I came by, which was maybe 4-6 times a year. This time I didn't know when I was going to come back the next time (as we maybe would spend Christmas and New Year's Eve in my new town with my girlfriend anyway), but my mother feared that his time was closing it. But on the other hand, we had all in our family thought that his time was near for quite some time, yet he managed to get by. 

Anyway, I felt that this was a good time to tell him about the findings I'd come by in my NDE studies, and even though I felt pretty sure myself, I didn't frame it to him as if this was "the truth" according to the gospel of myself, but rather, I told him what an average person experiences during an NDE. 

I remember telling him that they first become aware of a calm, black and silent state of mind, realizing they've died, and then leaving their bodies. I remember laying much focus on how NDErs generally feel that the body they've just left generally just feels like a "vehicle of flesh" to them, devoid of importance etc. Then I told him about the blackness, and the pinpoint of light, and how it would engulf them into itself, and that the light loved them "incredibly much". I also told him about the life review, and old friends (including non-earthly friends) that he would team up with once he had passed over, and that they didn't bother with his secrets in life, etc. 

As I didn't want to overwhelm/drown him with information, I stopped there. He said something like "Yeh..." (of course it's impossible to translate), but it was like he had listened very carefully, and then he said nothing of it. 

Then I told him that I wouldn't be sad at all as he died, but not because I didn't love him, but because I knew that he would be in a much better place. I then told him that I loved him, and gave him a hug. Then I went out of his room, and my and my girlfriend left shortly afterward. 

1 month and 3/4 days later (in the very early hours of the 12th of November, 2009), at around ~02:00 AM, I was going to bed. I had been up late and watched some stuff on YouTube, and then went to bed. I remember not falling asleep all too easily, but eventually I gave in. 

I do not remember if I was dreaming or anything like that preceding this event, but all of a sudden I remember acquiring acute awareness *while in the blackness of sleep* that "Something's happened; Something big is going on in your life!" 

Instantly I was catapulted awake from the deepest of sleep. I was as awake as ever. I felt a very distinct presence in this experience, and I remember thinking whether it was my grandfather. Then I remember thinking how I would discern who this could be, as I was worried that it could also be my mother, as she was fainting a lot at that time for medically unexplainable reasons. I don't know for how long this experience lasted, but I'm guessing everything from 10 seconds to 1 minute, but it definitely lasted in "real time". (As an aside, I've done some hallucinogens like MDMA, LSA and very strong dozes of cannabis (oral and smoked, and combined), and this was not like that were the perception of time was altered in any way). I do remember laying a quick glance on the digital clock at the time of this experience, and while I don't remember the exact minute it showed, it was somewhere around ~03:3X AM. Afterward, I fell asleep instantly again, and had as far as I can recall quite ordinary dreams where I didn't incorporate this recent event in any dreams. I was then awoken by the phone at around 05:45 AM by my stepfather, who told me that my grandfather had passed away in the night. He said that the nurses had come in to him at precisely 02:00 AM (during their nightly shift or something), and that then he'd told them "how nice they were who worked and helped people during the night and all". But when they came in to him again at 04:00 AM, he was completely dead and had that "look" where you look like a life-less corpse, no blood in circulation etc. 

Anyways, my stepfather was a bit sad (as he had become close to my grandfather the last few years) and told me he had shed a tear and remarked to me that "but that's a road we all shall walk". 

I was not at all surprised, but I was definitely in shock. Never before had someone close to me that I had actually spent quite some time with died, and I didn't know what to feel or how to react. I was getting adrenaline rushes, and became very awake and knew that I had a lot of thinking to do. A bit later, I went out for an hour long walk and thought about the fact that my grandfather had died (but I didn't think that much about my experience, initially). After that, at around 8-9 AM my mother called and was sad. I told her that my stepfather had called me earlier (as she was with my grandmother during the night, and my grandfather had been in the hospital for some days apparently (for something with the lungs, I don't remember exactly what it was and I still don't), and we talked some. 

Anyways, I don't know when this was, but a bit later (maybe a few days later or later that same day) me and my mother talked quite a lot about my grandfather and my grandmother, their lives etc, and I asked my mother whether she "felt it on her" that he had passed away that morning or if she had felt anything special before he passed away. She mentioned that she had had a phone conversation with him the night before he died where he had argued with her to "move in with them and help take care of him", as he was very afraid/ashamed of having to be moved to a nursing home for the elderly, as moving him to a home for the elderly definitely was in the talks at this point in time evidently. He had then remarked that he just wanted to go home. But then she also mentioned to me that she had awoken during the night he died, at 03:34 AM (she remembers this time exactly she says), but that unlike me she had not felt a presence, but only wondered why she woke up, and then fallen asleep again. 

Hearing her mentioning this made me think very seriously that my grandfather visited us both the night he transitioned, making himself known to us as a way of saying goodbye, or something. Initially, I was focusing on the fact that he had died, and not on my experience, as I wondered whether I would cry or not as I knew he was in a better place. Turns out, I never did cry, not even at the funeral, even though I love(d) him very much. I have however shed a tear or two on various occasions at the realization of how much I love him, and the fact that he must love me for making himself known by sticking around like that as his "heavenly reception party" was just about to start or whatever :-) 

I do have pondered a lot on why his presence was so obvious to me unlike how it was for my mother, and the conclusion I've arrived to at this point in time is that it's either the fact that I'm naturally more open to spiritual stuff, OR that I was very (and I do mean VERY) loving towards him the last few years of his life, as I not only professed to believe in an afterlife and the way of unconditional love after my studies of the NDE, but also tried to live like it (at least during most of the year 2008 after a existential crisis in my life). At one time, I came home to him for the first time in months (I think this was in the latter part of Mars 2008), and saw him unable to get up from his bed. As he told me "look at grandfather, how he has it", I felt this infinite compassion for him and just went to him in his bed and without a thought or doubt hugged him and said "oh grandfather", while meanwhile feeling and experiencing a love "summoned in me", as I was doing this, aggregating to a very tangible level in me I had never before (or after) experienced. It literally filled my consciousness, and I have never since been able to be so loving and/or compassionate, even though I have been trying occasionally. 

The reason I think that was a major cause in him visiting me so clearly the night he passed is because of what I've heard NDErs say of the importance of being loving, and how Heaven regards loving acts as the most important things we can ever do. 

It took a time for it to dawn on me that this was a shared-death experience, and that it indeed was very evidential in nature. (I first heard about them this February by accident in this video: youtube.com/watch?v=DvNDrZv8HwE)

Was the kind of experience difficult to express in words? No      

At the time of this experience, was there an associated life threatening event?          No      

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?    Instantly when it began and until I fell asleep again, as I was literally catapulted from deep sleep into being complete awake in the blink of an eye.

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal every day consciousness and alertness?    Normal consciousness and alertness

If your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience was different from your normal every day consciousness and alertness, please explain:            Instantly when it began and until I fell asleep again, as I was literally catapulted from deep sleep into being complete awake in the blink of an eye.

Did your vision differ in any way from your normal, everyday vision (in any aspect, such as clarity, field of vision, colors, brightness, depth perception degree of solidness/transparency of objects, etc.)?  No      

Did your hearing differ in any way from your normal, everyday hearing (in any aspect, such as clarity, ability to recognize source of sound, pitch, loudness, etc.)?            No      

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     No

What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Not that many actually. It was a quite keen experience, but I didn't think much about it while it happened. It seemed very natural, however. There was no effort involved in waking up like that, it was just like I was being made to participate in this observation by some external/unknown forces.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel or enclosure?          No      

Did you see a light?           No      

Did you meet or see any other beings?           No      

Did you experience a review of past events in your life?    No      

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          Yes     As I mentioned in the general description, the hospital workers confirmed in great detail that he had died some time between 02:00 AM and 04:00 AM, whereas I had my experience around 03:30 - 03:40 AM (and mother had her at 03:34 AM). However, no effort was ever put into finding out the exact minute he had died by neither the hospital nor any authorities.

Did you see or visit any beautiful or otherwise distinctive locations, levels or dimensions?           No           

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   No      

Did you have a sense of knowing special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?     Uncertain            While in the experience, I had the knowing that "something big has definitely happened in your life". I don't know if that's the best way to explain the feeling I had, but it was kind of like that. I just knew that something extraordinary was happening in my life/reality, although I couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was for certain. I only had a sense that someone close to me had passed away, and that that felt like "a big deal" in some kind of way.

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No      

Did you become aware of future events?       No           

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience you did not have prior to the experience?     No      

Have you shared this experience with others?         Yes     I shared it with four people in my life, and a few random people on the internet. 

First I talked about it with my mother, and we have talked about our SDE with my grandfather/her father a lot since then. 

I also spoke with my grandmother about it, and then I asked her if she had experienced something similar. She said she didn't remember, but that she somewhat often awoke in the night during those days, so that she wouldn't have remembered if it happened at that time or not anyway. 

Other than that I've told my 2 nearest friends. They both believed me, but one of them said he wouldn't believe in disembodied spirits even if they were swirling all around him all the time making themselves know by actually altering physical objects! (But we both agree that his inability to believe in such a beautiful reality is due to severe depression and general hopelessness, as I've also tried to show him NDE data with the same result).

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?    Yes            Well, this is kind of funny, as I had researched NDEs A LOT! I mean really, really much. I started researching them in late 2006, and it became almost my absolute hobby since then. I was not familiar at all with SDEs at the time, however, so I never expected that something like that could even happen. I only trusted in NDE data, and in order to "protect my sense of rationality" I didn't want to study any other paranormal phenomenon due to fear of ridicule. I felt that my belief in NDEs "was enough", as I could at least justify it rationally by appealing to the evidence (and arguments) I had more or less bathed in daily for the last 3 consecutive years.

How did you view the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened:            Experience was definitely real    I never doubted that it had happened exactly as it had appeared to happen to me, but I didn't think much of it until some months later. But it was no less real than waking real life in any way.

Were there one or several parts of the experience especially meaningful or significant to you?            The experience was very meaningful and significant to me. I feel that it was tremendously beautiful by my grandfather to say goodbye like that :') I smile very lovingly and feel loved whenever I think back to it.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience:            Experience was definitely real            Unlike stories of NDEs, it's not "seared into the very core of me and my memory", but it's more like you remember where you were when you heard of 9/11 for the first time or something. It's simply something I'll never forget, but not because of it's paranormal epic-ness, but because it was very meaningful, beautiful and interesting.

Have your relationships changed specifically as a result of your experience?           No      

Have your religious beliefs/practices changed specifically as a result of your experience?           
Yes     In my spiritual interpretation of this world, I've loosened up my ontology quite a bit. I am no longer unfairly skeptical towards things like SDEs, Death-Bed Visions etc where there is not as much data as there is concerning NDEs.

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No      

Is there anything else you would like to add concerning the experience?        Well, of course you always forget to add some details, but I feel like I've covered most of it. You are free to contact me if you have any questions. I'll be glad to answer them.

Did the questions asked and information you provided so far accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?         Yes     Very good questions (even though they were designed for NDEs and not SDEs).

Are there any other questions we could ask to help you communicate your experience?   Very good questionnaire. One suggestion is to make it easier for people with SDEs or those who want to report their loved one's Death-bed visions to feel like they can use this questionnaire as well.