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Jessica B's ADC

Experience description:  

I had laid down on the couch to watch a TV show with our 4 dachshunds. Once I got them settled down I rolled on my side facing the back of the couch, suddenly instead of seeing the couch like I should have I could see the stairs the lead up to our bedroom. On the steps was my husband who had passed away just under 3mth ago. He was wearing the tuxedo he wore for our wedding about 6mths ago. He had his full beard and hair (when he passed he had lost just about all of both due to chemotherapy. He appeared solid and in full color and had a soft glowing aura that was a whitish gold in color. He walked down a few steps and sat down. I immediately began to cry and told him how much I loved and missed him etc. I told him that I needed to be able to find some peace with his passing somehow (it seems impossible right now) before I die because I'm afraid if I don't my soul will be stuck here looking for him. And in an instant inside my head he told me "It's okay honey, you will be at peace because you will be with me".

My depressed brain immediately went to figuring what this meant and ran through many possible explanations. I remembered having talked about if he passed how I would dive off our 3rd story balcony and thought but what about the dogs and dismissed the thought and again he spoke inside my head and said "It's simple sweet heart just take your insulin". He smiled and walked up a step and disappeared. I am unsure what he meant by take my insulin I checked my sugar levels and they were actually low just after this happened, taking insulin would have likely killed me.

Did you ONLY sense an awareness of presence of the deceased without actually seeing, hearing, feeling or smelling them?            No

Did you hear the deceased or hear something associated with the deceased?          Yes

            Describe what you heard, how clearly you heard it and what was communicated:    I clearly heard his voice in my mind say "It's okay honey, you will be at peace because you will be with me" and "It's simple sweet heart just take your insulin"

            Did the voice or sound seem to originate externally or outside of you, inside you, or did you not hear a voice or sound, but had a sense of knowing what was communicated?  I didn't hear it with my ears but inside my mind but it originated from the stairs where he sat although his lips never moved he was just smiling the whole time.

            If you heard a voice or sound, was it similar or dissimilar from the voice or sound the deceased made when they were alive?           It was the same as when he was alive.

            Is there any possibility what you heard was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           The TV was on but I'm sure he doesn't sound like anyone on Myth busters or the Freecreditreport.com guys.

            Was there any possible impairment to your hearing at the time of the experience?   No I have very good hearing and have no ear infections or anything similar at the moment.

Did you feel a touch or experience any physical contact from the deceased?            No

Did you see the deceased?         Yes

He had a whitish gold aura surrounding him. He was wearing the tuxedo, shoes and boutonniere he wore on our wedding day the only thing he had on similar when he was buried was the boutonniere. He had his beard and hair back also.

            How clearly did the deceased appear?            Solid I could not see the stairs or anything behind him. He was in full color not a shadow.

            How much of the deceased did you see?       I could see all of him.

            Did the deceased appear or not appear to be the age at which they died?       He looked just as he had 3mths before he passed away. He did look to be the weight he was when he had passed which was about 30lbs lighter then he was 3mths before he passed.

            How healthy did the deceased appear to be?            He appeared to be perfectly healthy and happy.

            Is there any possibility what you saw was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?           No there is nothing in that stair case but brown carpeted steps and a floor to ceiling window covered by a butter colored curtain. He appeared in bright white.

Did you smell a distinct smell, scent, fragrance or odor associated with the deceased?      Uncertain

            What smell, scent, fragrance or odor did you smell?           I could smell peaches I have no idea why, I know he liked peaches but it wasn't his favorite fruit and he was anosmic (born without a sense of smell) it's not like the fragrance of a fresh ripe peach was one of his favorites.

            Was the smell, scent, fragrance or odor familiar?     Yes it smelled exactly like a fresh ripe peach, which since it's January in Pittsburgh is no where to be found in my house.

            Was anything communicated by the smell?   Not really I had not really thought about it too much until you asked since I wouldn't normally associate the smell with him, but there's no other reason I would have smelled that scent nothing for it to have come from or anything if it wasn't from him.

            Is there any possibility that the smell, scent, fragrance or odor was from any other source present in the surroundings at the time of your experience?        Nope there are no peaches canned or otherwise no air fresheners or anything like that. I'm actually sitting 10inches from where my head was at the time and I can not smell anything that even remotely smells like a fresh ripe peach.

How long did the experience last?        The total time he was on the stairs was probably about 5 minutes.

Was the beginning and end of the experience gradual or more sudden?         It was both in a way. One moment I'm looking at the back of the couch the next with out moving I see him walk down the stairs from the bedroom and sit down just as if he were living. He left the same way. But his movements were gradual and graceful.

Could you sense the emotions or mood of the deceased?           Yes

He was happy and at peace.

Did the deceased give you information you did not previously know?  As I do not fear death I just fear not being with him, him telling me that I will be at peace and I will be with him when I pass. Still unsure what the insulin comment meant.

How do you currently view the reality of your experience?           Experience was definitely real

            Please explain why you view the reality of your experience as real or not real:           I know I may not be the sanest person on Earth, but I have experienced something similar about 20yrs ago, at that time 3 other family members had almost the exact same experience and while no one else saw him this time I know it was him. This was the first time I have been able to feel his love for me since he was placed on life support.

            Was the experience dream like in any way?   No

I was vividly aware of what was on TV, everything he was saying and doing, and where and what each of our 4 puppies were doing at the time. If I had been dreaming I'd have no clue what was on TV or what the pups were doing or which one was laying where.

Describe in detail your feelings/emotions during the experience:           First I was in shock, then overwhelming grief and sadness then peace and love and ending in confusion.

Was there any emotional healing in any way following the experience?           Uncertain

While it does make me feel better knowing we will be together again I am still grieving his loss.

What was the best and worst part of your experience?      The best part was seeing that he is happy and healthy where ever he is, and that when he needs or wants to he can still talk to me. The worst part was ironically seeing him again I wasn't really prepared for that.

Has your life changed specifically as a result of your experience?         Uncertain                  Describe:            It has brought a small measure of peace to me.

Did you have any changes of attitudes or beliefs following the experience?
   Yes     Regained belief in life after this one and in communication with the deceased.

Did the experience give you any spiritual understandings such as life, death, afterlife, God, etc.?            Yes     Despite having had experiences prior to his passing after he died I lost all faith and knowledge of an afterlife. I believed we all blinked out of existence and I had sent him to nothingness since I had decided to take him off the life support. Now I know again there is life after this one and that he is still alive, he's just not here with me in the same form as I am.

Death Compacts are when two or more living people promise among themselves that whoever dies first will try to contact the other(s).  Have you ever made such a compact?        Uncertain

I had told him if I passed before him I would come and let him know that I was okay. He just smiled at the time and patted my head.

Did you observe or hear anything regarding people or events during your experience that could be verified later?          No
What emotions did you feel during the experience?            Confusion and then peace. I know now no matter what happens to me, one day we will be together again and one day I will be at peace again.

Was the experience witnessed or experienced by others?           Uncertain

our dogs were laying with me but none seemed to notice other then they seemed to all calm down suddenly when he appeared

Did you have any sense of altered space or time?   Uncertain

I had an altered sense of spatial relationship since it was like I was seeing out the side of my head, but I was clearly aware of the time that passed as I could clearly hear the TV in the background.

Did you have a sense of knowing, special knowledge, universal order and/or purpose?    Uncertain

For a moment there I thought my purpose had been serve and that I was supposed to show my husband true love and happiness while he was here. Having done that it seemed as thought he was sent to tell me to commit suicide, but then it left me in confusion.

Did you become aware of future events?       Yes

That when I do pass away my husband and I will be reunited.

Did you have any psychic, paranormal or other special gifts following the experience that you did not have prior to the experience?         No

Did you experience a separation of your consciousness from your body?     Uncertain

It was kind of like a out of body experience yet it wasn't I was in my body but I it was like my eyes had somehow moved to the side of my head which was the part of my head facing the steps at the time, if that makes any sense to anyone else.

Did you meet or see any other beings other than the deceased?  

Did you see a light?           Uncertain

There was a aura around him that was glowing but it wasn't the stereo typical bright tunnel of light or anything like that.

Did any part of your experience seem to occur in a place other than the location described above?            No

Have you shared this experience with others?        

Yes     They know that in the passed I have similar experiences and that I can sense the presences of spirits (usually not the good ones), knowing this they believed me whole heartily however they were just as perplexed as I am about the mention of my insulin.

Have you shared this experience formally or informally with any other researcher or web site?   No

 Is there anything else you would like to add regarding your experience?       Just because my deceased husband told me to take insulin that at the time would have killed me does not mean I am suicidal.

Were there any associated medications or substances with the potential to affect the experience?            Uncertain

I am a type 2 diabetic unsure what my sugar level was at the time

Following the experience, have you had any other events in your life, medications or substances which reproduced any part of the experience?         No 

Did you ever in your life have a near-death experience, out of body experience or other spiritual event?           Uncertain 

I have since I was a child had occasional occurrences where I could see myself having a conversation with someone but I see it from outside my body. I however have never had a near death experience or significant spiritual event. I have however had 2 other occurrences where my long deceased step father has come to me, in on those occasions I had seen, heard, felt and smelt him.

Did the questions asked and information you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience?               Yes

I honestly can not think of anything that was not asked for short of a DNA profile. Just kidding it was very comprehensive.